#everelf

So when a certain nine ('happily' single, mind you) mages turned up at the guild on this certain day to find it decked with black and white streamers, they found it exceedingly odd and suspicious…too suspicious.

"Who died?" A half-naked Gray questioned confusedly, scowl not forgotten. They all shrugged, deciding to venture further into the eerily quiet building. It soon occurred to the group that the entire guild hall was empty, save for themselves and a smiling Mirajane who stood in the middle of it. Oh god. This couldn't be good.

"Welcome all!" The barmaid beamed, clasping her hands together.

"Dear Mavis, we're doomed." The words were laced with dread and Lucy, the one who muttered them decided to make a speedy exit. That is, before being stopped by Mirajane.

"Oh, come on now Lucy," Her grip on the blonde's wrist felt like lead shackles (both physically and figuratively), "I've gone through the trouble of organizing a little activity for this…particular group!"

"I get the feeling she was about to say something insulting." Gray piped in.

"Ahem, firstly, please take a seat and make yourselves comfortable." The group of 9 neglected to tell her that her very presence denied them the joy of doing anything comfortably.

"Come on now, you're going to be 50 by the time you walk 5 metres!"

They sighed and with a few reluctant grumbles, went towards the designated area but they never sat down. They just stood there like scarecrows.

"Mira, what is this?" Levy gave said woman a look before pointing at the circular formation of the seats.

"Your seats of course!"

"…This looks like some recovery set-up for despair drinkers." Gray squinted at the seats skeptically. He was swiftly ignored.

"And seats are for sitting on so get to it!" They could tell that Mirajane was already growing frustrated at them so hesitantly, they took their places.

"So from the top again, welcome all to Mirajane's 'Singles' Counseling Session'!" She cheered while scribbling in 'Singles' Counselling Session' onto her mini whiteboard stand.

"Oh god-"

"A what?!"

"This is so gay-"

"Mira!"

"Mirajane, I do not see the point in this activity-"

"Oh great, your sister is going to kill us all!"

"That is not manly!"

"Juvia actually needs to go shopping-"

"I knew it! You were going to say 'singles' weren't you?!"

Mirajane was quick to shush them up, deciding that it was wiser to move on to the introduction of her carefully plotted gathering.

"I know that all of you here do not have the joy of spending this day with a loved one – your other halves, to be precise," She wiped away a fake tear, conveniently ignoring their complaints ("What other half?!"), "So I have decided to show you the importance of love which will hopefully provide you with the motivation to find that special someone! Well, that is unless you are still swimming the Nile whichwouldbeallofyou."

The response was obviously a flurry of complaints.

"Mira, I really appreciate your efforts and uh determination but I really have to go." Lucy shot her a desperate look while fidgeting uncomfortably.

"Lucy! I specifically put your name-tag on that seat for a reason!"

"But I- I have a date!" She spluttered, looking towards the side. At this, the party of 10 stilled. Natsu raised a brow and if one paid enough attention to his facial features (and by that, I mean really paid attention to them) they would spot the disheartened look in his eyes.

After a 10 second silence, Mirajane let out an unconvinced sigh.

"And by that, do you mean a date with Plue?"

Lucy cringed before sinking back down into her seat. (For reasons unknown to himself, the dragonslayer beside her let out a breath of relief).

"Actually, I have to meet up with someone too." Levy squeaked with her peter pointer raised in the air.

"No Levy McGarden, you are not leaving this lesson for a book." That was when everyone unanimously concluded that they were going to be stuck here for the rest of the day. Joy.

"Anyhow, moving on," The barmaid pointed at the love heart on the whiteboard with one of those long metal antennae thingies.

"Love is something that makes you feel like you're alive!" She finished off the sentence dreamily, not noticing the unconvinced looks of her 'students' (minus Juvia who nodded enthusiastically).

"Woman, are you calling us suicidal?" Gajeel crossed his arms, looking quite offended.

"No! I am saying that your life satisfaction would be doubled!" She shouted. How dense could these morons be? No offense or anything, but it felt as if she were talking to people who didn't even understand the meaning of love. Oh. Oh, right.

Gray raised his hand.

"Yes Gray?" She said almost exasperatedly.

"Does that mean that our satisfaction would be tripled with more than one partner?" Juvia nearly died while the others merely looked at him oddly.

"Unmanly…" Elfman uttered in disgust from the side.

"Mira?" Gray continued, unfazed by his friends' reactions.

"Well- I-…I wouldn't know but for your sake, I wouldn't recommend trying it." Mirajane looked slightly repulsed and hoped that the ice mage was just trying to annoy her. She really hoped that were the case.

"Anyhow, let us…continue." She pointed at the next drawing on her whiteboard (which most of the party failed to recognize)

"Is that a plane?" Evergreen questioned.

"No, no – It's obviously an arrow." Erza nodded in confidence.

They failed to notice the stray tear rolling down Mirajane's face – They didn't know how hard it was to draw intertwined hands!

"I'm talking about dates now people!" The males blanched visibly.

"You're not talking about the fruits, are you?" Natsu gave her a look of horror when she replied with a blunt 'No'.

Lucy rolled her eyes along with the rest of the female population. "Grow up."

"I don't understand why you boys look so reluctant about this topic – It's nice!" Mirajane huffed.

"And expensive." Gray added, stopping when he realized the killer glare coming from the barmaid.

"Ahem, class! Has anyone here been on a date?" The males all gave her the look. Why had she bothered asking them? They were obviously spending Valentine's Day alone for a reason.

"Raise your hands please!" At this, all the females raised their hands (although they did so begrudgingly). Mirajane nodded in understanding while the males just looked on, betrayal written all over their faces.

"Oi shorty, don't tell me you went with the two stooges!"

"I did not!"

"Oh great, that's even worse-"

"Quiet class! From observations, I can tell that it was not with any of your peers over here," She looked around before nodding again, "And I can tell that you all ended up unsuccessful."

"Hey!"

"QUIET!" Everyone minus the barmaid recoiled in fear.

"I can tell you why you weren't successful – It was because you chose the wrong ones. Oh, maybe minus Erza-"

The redhead looked at her threateningly, an obvious blush coating her face.

"We're moving to the next topic Mirajane." She forced the words through gritted teeth.

"Oh, uhm, okay. That would be married life!" They all looked at her in horror.

"Oh come on, Alzack and Bisca took seven years but it still happened. Gajeel, don't give me that look otherwise the next topic will be on pregnancy! Okay, good. Just imagine it, waking up to your spouse in the mornings, having breakfast together-" Slowly, she began to enter lala-land again but as she listed off the many pros of marriage, Natsu couldn't help but wonder, what was the difference?

"Someone make the woman stop!" Gajeel groaned, the rest giving him a look saying 'we-would-if-we-could-but-we-can't-so-we-won't'. Surprisingly, the one who spoke up happened to be Natsu.

"Mira, I don't get it."

"What?"

"What's the difference? Dating and stuff."

"Well, you hold hands." Mirajane started, unsure of where this was going.

"I do hold her hands." Everyone looked at him, confused. Who was this mystery girl?

"Who are you talking about Natsu?" Mirajane asked and Natsu had to surprise them all by motioning his head (albeit shyly) towards Lucy.

"Lucy."

All eyes were immediately on the blonde who looked flabbergasted and started waving her hands in front of her face.

"We do not- This is some sort of horrible mistake- I don't! Don't give me that look!"

"But we did!" Natsu whined. When had this hand-holding thing happened? Had she been delirious during the occurrence or was her stupid best friend making this all up? Was this some sort of revenge tactic? But for what?

"Last mission! And the one before that-" And as if a freight train had hit her, she stilled.

"THAT WAS WHEN YOU WERE DRAGGING ME AROUND LIKE A RAG DOLL WHILE ESCAPING FROM THE BEAST YOU IDIOT!"

"Oh."

Hoping to break the tension, Mirajane decided to continue with her explanation.

"Well, uhm Natsu, you also have more skin-ship, like hugging and things of the sort."

He looked towards Lucy again. "Oh then in that case-"

"The last person you hugged was the granny who gave you an apple for free."

To be honest, Natsu had never felt so humiliated in his life before.

It was evening by the time that Mirajane's counseling session had ended and Natsu found himself dragging his feet beside Lucy. Somehow, today had drained him more than the battle with Laxus. Or Gajeel. Or Gray. Or any other battle for that matter. He huffed.

"Oh come on Natsu, it could have been worse." Lucy supplied as she looked out towards the water channel. Worse? He didn't want to entertain the possibilities of Mirajane's pregnancy talk.

"Yeah…" He sighed, sounding quite dejected. Honestly, while he hadn't been entirely oblivious to the subject of 'Love' he had never ventured too deeply into it and now that Mirajane had devoted an entire day to explore said topic, he couldn't get it out of his head.

"I still don't get it – we share beds, we hang out a lot and it's not as if I don't like touching you or anything-"

"Natsu! Dirty thoughts to yourself please!" Lucy cried; her face turning a bright shade of red. He only snickered.

"Come on! I'm actually thinking here." He folded his arms together, not noticing the side-glance his best friend sent him.

"And what exactly would you be thinking about?" She inquired carefully.

"Us." What on Earth was she supposed to say to that?

"Oh. And?" By now, her heart was beating double its normal speed. This couldn't possibly be good for her health.

"I think I'm swimming the Nile." Natsu all but whispered to himself though Lucy had managed to catch the words. Oblivious to the fact that he had said that aloud, he continued to talk.

"Hey, want to go out tonight?" The dragonslayer met the blonde's eyes before he began to splutter uncontrollably.

"I mean, as in just for dinner since it's late and all and I think they have specials since it's Valentine's Day – I can treat you if you want since we're already heading back to your place and-" He stopped when Lucy held onto his hand.

"Sure, only because of the specials they have for Valentine's Day and because you're treating me." She gave him a smile when he gobbled like a goldfish. He seemed to be struggling for his next words before slumping in defeat.

"Awesome." Lucy nudged him on the shoulder as they continued down the path. She could wait.

Mirajane sat alone in the guild, most of the lights turned off to reduce their electricity bills. She had devoted a whole day to teach those nine about the importance of love and she was sure that they would have at the very least reflected on their feelings. Yes, she had done her job, yet why did she feel so alone?