#everask

Nightmoss was born to Sapstar(splinter) and Echolight, she had 4 littermates, none of which survived the harsh winter they were born in. Due to the loss of her 4 kits, Echolight was a confusing mix of overprotective and cold towards Nightkit. This really impacted their relationship and really skewed Night's understanding of what a mother is supposed to be. Nightmoss was never keen on rules, she was what she called a "free-spirit". Never much of a team player, thin loyalty to her clan - but overall everyone liked her! She was charismatic, confident and well-meaning, usually always with a pep in her step. She simply just didn't care for clan on clan politics. One day she encountered a loner tom named Gusty (GASP) and they had a fleeting romance. They didnt want to put a label on it, and they didnt wish to consider themselves exclusive (although Nightmoss really always wanted to be his mate, but she respected his boundaries).

After a while, it was discovered that she was pregnant. Most cats were either elated or a little nervous to find out this news but Nightmoss was downright belligerent towards the idea and anyone that suggested it. She begged her father to help her get rid of the kits, even suggesting giving them to another clan. ANYTHING but allow her to be a mother. Sapstar refused. He had lost 4 of his kits and he'd broken up with Echolight, this was his last chance to have a solid family. He kept insisting it'd all be fine and she'd make a wonderful mother. She secretly went out to meet with Gusty and beg him to take the kits once they were born. He was repulsed! Why would he ruin his loner lifestyle by raising kits he didnt even want? He didnt even want to be with Nightmoss romantically, she was simply just a fling to him. Nothing more, nothing less. Heartbroken at his betrayal and the lack of help she received, she defeatedly moved into the nursery.

When the kits were born she doubled down on her dismay and was determined to make it known how little she wanted these kits. Rowansky, having seen this behaviour before, desperately tried to get Sapstar to listen. He asked him to consider giving them to a queen who'd recently had kits, Lilywillow. Nightmoss was on board with this idea but Sapstar wanted his family to be just that, a family.

Nightmoss knew she couldn't have these kits. She knew they werent safe with her. The motherly instinct was just not happening and instead was this rising, dark, violent instinct she'd never felt before. She tried to get anyone to listen, she knew the risks, but everyone thought it wasnt possible for such a happy-go-lucky cat to genuinely have such dark thoughts. They all said the same thing, "just give it time! The violent thoughts will disappear and the love will come flooding in!" But the thoughts got darker. She viewed the kits with such disdain she had to physically stop herself from purposefully injuring them. And in turn, she hated herself and everyone around her for it. The only two cats who listened to her were Rowansky and Nightmoss' best friend Silverhiss(Shadestar's mother). They did everything they could, from pleading a case to Sapstar (which always fell on deaf ears) and even going as far as Silverhiss offering to adopt them when she found out she was pregnant with her own litter. She never even named the kits, they named themselves with the help of Lilywillows litter. Rainkit(she-kit), Spotkit(tom) and Fidgetkit(tom)

When the kits were between 4 and a half moons old(PLEASE IGNORE THE FACT THEY LOOK SO MUCH YOUNGER IN THESE DRAWINGS omllll kitten sizes are the bane of my artistic existence hahah!), she'd had enough. She hated motherhood. She hated her kits. Even the slightest thing they did 'wrong' pissed her off to no end. and when they grovelled for her forgiveness and tried to tell her they loved her, she snapped. She couldnt STAND to hear those words. Everyone around her was starting to get wary and believe her intentions, all except Sapstar who had completely closed himself off to the idea of it all. Nightmoss especially hated Fidgetkit. The other two had quietly given up loving their mother, especially Spotkit, but Fidgetkit was so devoted to his mother despite it all. He was born with a deformity around his eyes, causing them to droop slightly and this annoyed her even more. In her mind if they had the audacity to be born, they should at least be perfect - this deformity just felt like StarClan was mocking her. She would always just refer to him as "the freak" and snapped whenever he expressed any positive feelings towards her. His littermates were fiercely protective over their loving and well-meaning brother. She made up her mind. She was going to kill her kits.

The next morning, the sun had barely risen, when she woke up her kits with the best fake smile she could muster. She spoke with a soft, inviting voice and told her kits she was going to take them on a surprise trip, to apologise for her behaviour. Fidgetkit was elated, but Rainkit and Spotkit didnt trust this. Deep down, they knew that this was going to end badly. TW: Next images get a bit violent and might be upsetting, please proceed with caution <3 Depictions of blood, abuse, bones breaking and death . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

While Fidgetkit was watching the river excitedly, he heard two spine-chilling snaps. He wasnt sure what the sound was but he knew it was something terrible. Before he had a chance to react, the lifeless bodies of his siblings flew above his head and into the river. Just as he was about to scream to his mother for help, she threw herself full-force into the kit, grabbing his arm in his teeth. Her other kits she had snapped their necks, putting an end to them swiftly, but this childs existence mocked her. The stars mocked her. He had to suffer for it. She had the intention to break his legs and throw him in the river where he'd struggle to keep afloat. She got one leg broken before his screams alerted a nearby patrol. Flashbreeze was leading the patrol and shrieked at their accompanying apprentice to fetch Sapstar and Rowansky IMMEDIATELY. She grabbed hold of Nightmoss, who was in a crazed state, and together with the rest of the patrol they got her pinned to the ground.

Sapstar watched in horror at the scene before him. His daughter beaten up by his warriors. His grandson shrieking in terror, leg bleeding and at a wrong angle. His other two grandkits bobbing in the river while Fidgetkit tried desperately to reach them. Rowansky managed to pull Fidget away(carefully) and held him tight, soothing the poor little baby. With help of a few senior warriors, they managed to get Fidget back to the camp where the other BrightClan cats stared in horror. Nothing like this had ever happened in their known history so to say it shook up the entire clan is an understatement. Rowansky got Fidgetkit's leg all bandaged up in a splint and gave him as many poppy seeds as the kit could safely take. Fidget's state of shock was unlike anything Rowan had ever seen in a kit and his blood was boiling. The patrol managed to drag Nightmoss into the clan for sentencing. Sapstar snapped at his daughter, asking her how she could possibly do such a thing to her own children, to which she attacked him and screeched at how she'd warned him. She'd warned ANYBODY who would listen. She knew this would happen, and they were told that it would. THEY chose not to believe her. THEY chose not to listen to her. Nightmoss blamed Sapstar especially. She needed a father but he was more interested in being a grandfather. She cried how the kits would have still been his grandchidren even if she wasnt the one to raise them. And now they're dead. The weight of it all was starting to hit her. The severity of what she did, now that it was done, made her heart drop like a stone. Sapstar was never quite the same after that, he exiled his own daughter. She gladly left. Shrieking that she got what she wanted anyway. Rowansky was furious at Sapstar for many many moons, and even denied him from seeing Fidgetkit until he was 9 moons old(after much bullying from the young Shadekit) and had a belated apprentice ceremony. He still suffered from his injury and wouldn't fully get back to a normal routine for just under 2 years. Living his life in the medicine den with Rowansky and Poppyspirit(the older medicine cat) Everyone viewed Nightmoss as one of the most evil cats that had ever lived. Sapstar, Rowansky, Silverhiss, Nightmoss herself and even Fidgetfur viewed her simply as a tragedy that was bound to happen - if only everyone had listened to her. She died several moons later from an illness(cat flu), completely alone and completely defeated. She was left a shell of her former self, often cursing herself for going down the route she went down. Now that her hormones had calmed down and she was free from her kits, she realised all the different routes she should have taken. She would have been able to deal with the hate had she abandoned her kits...but there was no going back from what she did. She woke up in the dark forest, unsurprised. She knew she deserved this. She just wish things had been different. Fidgetfur is now happily reunited with his lost siblings in StarClan.