#even ross

Ross’ parents absolutely spoiled and doted on him when he and Monica were growing up since Ross was a ‘good student’ and constantly used as an example by his parents to Monica, who was overweight as a child, in terms of ‘why can’t you be more like your brother?’

This was only made worse when Ross became an archaeologist and got a PHD, effectively making him not only a ‘doctor’ (although not a medical one) but also giving him a high paying job. Ross was also the sibling that got married first AND gave his parents a grandchild, something they desperately wanted because Ross’ parents are the worst.

Meanwhile, Monica grew up CONSTANTLY trying to EARN her parents’ love and approval. Although he parents were not hateful towards her, her mother especially was one of those people who would only give Monica backhanded compliments or passive aggresive remarks revolving around literally everything in her life. As a child it was her weight, as a teenager it was her weight and the fact that she wasn’t popular with boys, as a young adult after she dropped the weight, it became her love life and her career (she starts the show as a part-time chef) and so it goes on and on and on, where literally NOTHING Monica has ever done in her life is good enough for her mother.

As a result, Monica has codependency issues and even more strongly is extremely neurotic and has a slight “perfectionist” streak to her (read borderline OCD)

Meanwhile Ross grows up as the favourite child and coddled by his mother as a ‘perfect son’. He gets a PHD and gets a high paying job and marries and has a child.

And THEN right at the start of the show it all falls apart. His wife comes out as a lesbian and divorces Ross and gets custody of his son. Ross mopes about this but as soon as Rachel walks back into the picture (who he had a crush on since they were teenagers) he basically IMMEDIATELY stops moping about his failed marriage and seeks out to “win” Rachel.

Ross is actually an incredibly well written character, but unfortunately he is an absolutely terrible person. As a child essentially “competing” with his sister for their parents’ affection and perfectly ok with her getting belittled as they grew u because it meant he could gain the praise. Ross is a spoiled boy who grew up into a spoiled man who is incredibly immature and cannot emotionally handle it when he is denied something he wants. (often times the affection of a women he is romantically interested in). So when he doesn’t get what he wants, he deflects all blame in the situation (something he does CONSTANTLY throughout the show.) having endless excuses for WHY things turn out the way they do (and its never his fault, obviously) or how his actions were actually completely justified, or why he should be forgiven (without EVER really apologising for some really horrible things) or victim blaming the person angry with him when he does something horrible.

Whether never taking responsibility for cheating on Rachel when they were taking some time apart. (I don’t remember if he EVER aplogises for this, as it becomes a running joke for YEARS of him insisting “we were on a break!” as if that excuses him) or the list he made as to “which girl he should date”. As well as a slew of other things like freaking the fuck out when his 4 year old son enjoys playing with a Barbie more than “boy toys”.

Ross is the perfect example of... well....

a spoiled man who grew up being taught everything should be GIVEN to him and nothing is his fault, and as an adult he projects this belief onto women.

And believe it or not, while F.R.I.E.N.D.S. was airing on television, Ross and Rachel was “the most popular couple” on the show.

ffs....

And before anyone who doesn’t watch the show asks no. NONE of the other men in the show are like this. And Ross actually and FREQUENTLY gets called out on his bullshit.

Joey, who is at first shown as a not-to-bright lady’s man and a bit of a perv, grew up with 7 sisters and despite the fact that he enjoys short-term flings has shown more respect for women than Ross ever has. To the point where when HE and Rachel develop feelings for each other, they date for a very brie period before realising they were too close as friends for a romantic situation to work. So they break up and remain exactly the same as they were before the brief period of dating. With Joey never breathing a word of disappointment about it.

Chandler on the other hand grew up with his father who is.... very very gay. Chandler is not gay at all, but is constantly mistaken for gay by people who don’t know him to well. He has very feminine tastes and picked up a few mannerisms, but despite this only has interest in women. However, because he’s an anxious mess, he struggles committing and for a long time is in constant fear that he’ll end up an old man completely alone (which causes him to run back to old, bad relationships). But he never blames the women he dates for his problem. He even complains that he “purposefully finds things that are wrong with the women he dates just so he has an excuse not to commit to a relationship” and laments his OWN issues.

Anyway my point is; Ross is the worst and its not because the show is somehow trying to portray him as a misunderstood romantic lead. He is very purposefully written to BE the worst.

Ross embodies all the worst parts of “that guy I use to date and now can’t stand and I have no idea what I saw in him”.