#ev's rambles

Religious imagery flickers through this song just as it weaves through Hannibal (the series). I never can decide if Hannibal sees Will as his disciple or his God - to be worshiped. But there is no doubt in my mind that Hannibal would include his ideas of heaven in his beliefs about Will.

The use of Must suggests an inevitability, like he knew that this situation would crumble one way or another. That he knew Will would burn out, but he held some hope that the scales would tip Will towards him. Just like how Will was "in [his] dream". But the teacup has shattered

Hannibal releases his "scattered brain" - this could be seen in two ways. He is letting go of the parts of him that are connected to Will - parts that maybe don't fit with his previous images of himself. Or he is referring to Will as "My scattered brain". Calling Will "My enemy". But Will is His.

"I cut from the inside" - This feels like Hannibal cuts Will because of how he is feeling inside. Maybe he is scared, frightened, and that makes him unsettled - "Something just isn't right".

"I'm drowning in my self defence" - "I gave you a rare gift, but you didn't want it." When Hannibal guts Will he does so to survive, if he did not do so he would drown, die. When Will says "Didn't I?" then maybe the guilt begins to set in. "Now punish me."

"Think of me as what you will." - How does Will view Hannibal? As a monster, a man - a friend, an enemy? Does it really matter to Hannibal, no because he knows what he is and he is saying Goodbye (for now."

The idea of Hannibal growing "like a cancer" just screams of the idea that he has grown inside Will but he has grown from parts of Will. His influence is born of Will's cells, working beyond what they normally do. He is silent and devastating but he is a part of Will. To cure Will of Hannibal would be to destroy, claw out, part of himself and damage the surrounding structures. "Do you believe you could change me, the way I have changed you? - I already did"

Water imagery returns in the rain - the rain that washes away blood, cleansing in a way. Hannibal stands in the rain at the end of Season 2. He has shed his person suit for a brief moment. He wipes his face as the rain drops fall. A small part of me thinks that he lets a few tears fall, disguised as they are. I see this moment as his washing away that "poisoned pain" of betrayal.

"Deliver me" - the religious themes pop up again. Is Will Hannibal's saviour? Is he seeking forgiveness? What poisoned part of himself does Hannibal want saving from, or would he rather pull Will down with him? "I forgive you Will. Will you forgive me?"

It's giving obsession - a desperation to be known and understood.

I strongly believe that Hannibal wants nothing more than to be understood and he believes Will to be the only one who could ever fully understand him. As he leaves his old home, I picture him just thinking and hoping that maybe if he says it enough times - Will will know.

Please know me

It is cut off. Hannibal believes Will to not care for him, to wish to shackle him. He loves. But he is not sure if the one he loves is Will (for now)

... give it some time in Europe and that will soon change hehe