Bambi tended to be a bit less clingy than this, but they weren’t really feeling particularly interested in being alone these days. Jay was good company, just a bit dumb, sweet, and always up for laying with Bambi and boosting their ego. This was something that they desperately needed these days. And maybe they didn’t do enough for Jay in the friendship department. It wasn’t that they didn’t want to, it was that they weren’t really sure how to. They had spent so much time mentoring the small boy, constantly trying to steer them in the correct direction, that they hadn’t ever really taken the time to be much more than that. Jay of course, didn’t see it that way. They were fine with any attention that went their way, much like the small puppy that Bambi found themselves often equating the other to. Jay just assumed that this was friendship. But hadn’t Bambi bought the other clothes? Let him dye their hair? Sleep in their bed? Wasn’t that what friends did?

But… Jay had certainly been there enough for Bambi. Hell, they wouldn’t be in bed at this moment if not for the pink haired boy convincing them to come home after maybe doing just a bit too much cocaine for someone who had, at the time, been in the midst of one of their new past times: panic attacks.

These had been becoming more and more frequent lately. If a hand touched them too quickly, if they were unfamiliar with a place, if anything felt unsafe, Bambi felt the anxiety tightening tin their throat. It was suffocating, and they almost always succumbed to it. They had never in their lives felt this kind of stress before. Not since…

A breath.

“Jay, wake up. Come play.” Bambi mused, their body shifting just a bit closer to their friends as fingers brushed through the cotton candy toned strands. “I’m better now, promise.”

But it wasn’t normal rain. It was cold rain that sank through Wen’s black hoodie and made his skin ache. He swore it went deeper than that, though. He felt like it made each join rust over. He could hardly bring himself to move. He’d driven for a while, but then his head got too messy. It was raining too hard and he just… needed a minute. He hardly remembered where he’d parked his car, just a cryptic note in his phone that might have been a street number and the store it was in front of. How he got to this doorstep, though, he couldn’t tell you.

Wen had been struggling for a while. The bills kept coming and his mother was only getting worse—it seemed that their conversations were mostly just him leading and her pretending that she knew what was going on. She didn’t. he could see it in her eyes that she had no idea who he was, she was just going with it because she couldn’t remember any differently. It was even harder because she didn’t remember his transition. Her eyes always slid over him as she called for Wendolyn, never Wen. She was looking for her daughter. Maybe trying to remind her that she had soccer practice that afternoon. It seemed that the only times that his mother remembered Wen was when he was 14 years old, Just before he had come out to her. Just before he had come out to the world.  He tried hard not to take it personally but there were days where there was nothing but fear each time she saw him because he was an unfamiliar man in her home. Wen understood.

But being understanding was hard. Wen spent so fucking long being understanding and being nice that he had forgotten what it was that he actually wanted anymore. It certainly wasn’t selling his body in whatever way he could to keep his mother close. It wasn’t being a side piece to Jay. It wasn’t being so tired because he couldn’t let himself think. It wasn’t any of this.

He knew he shouldn’t have come to Jay, but who else did he have? Who else would let him escape for just a moment while he tried to figure shit out? He couldn’t go back to his apartment where the bills had piled high on his kitchen counter. He couldn’t go to his moms where he could never seem to sit down without feeling guilty.

As tears burned his eyes and bleached strands stuck to his face, he knocked at the door. He shook hard in the cold, arms wrapped around himself as if to keep everything locked together firmly. There was almost a fear that if he didn’t that he would tumble apart completely.

He’d had maybe a few drinks before, he remembered that much but everything before coming to this front door was hazy, confusing, and scary. Wen just wanted to feel okay and somehow this seemed like the only place he could go to make that happen.

Age of Youth ep 12 Season 1 

Anyway i know its really not a big deal but i cannot stand the fact that Jo Eun's foundation/bb cream is wayyyy too light for her skin tone. Like y'all....all the makeup, hair and outfits are on point but y'all couldnt get homegirls shade? Smh. Lol That and i get Eun Jae's old actress had a scheduling conflict and no tea no shade to her new actress but i hope if theres a season 3 that they bring back the og actress