#ethniccrying

I hope everyone new year is blessed and at least better than mine. Feel free to scroll. Six days in, and it’s been hellish. If you can offer any urgent assistance/support/advice/prayer/help. I’d be so grateful. I hate how life has turned out. I’ve really tried everything. Am I losing the will to live? Yes. 

I’ve been in and out of hospital, for an illness that still hasn’t been identified 

can’t afford to get to work (or anywhere)

Recent mice infestation, to which I’ve reported to the landlord - he said it’s not his problem. 🫠

I have minus £6. 

I don’t eat/sleep anymore. I only panic tbh. 

The case regarding the former housemate who tried to k*ll me, has had the case adjourned - prolonging the process. Look at what she did to my door. The stairs is where she tried to k*ll me.

These antidepressants have tr uly messed me up

PayPal (preferable): www.paypal.me/chewe

Cashapp only works for people in the UK (sadly) : £beleshid

I really have nothing. Like, nothing. Just alone. I don’t think I can do this anymore fr, and I’m not sure I really want to any. 

On metaphorically on bent knee, PLEASE help ONLY if you can, or even boost/share. 

Happy February, hope all is well. I’m sorry to come like this again (I hate it myself). My birthday is in a week, I’ve been sick for nearly 3 months (and hospitalised) and I have 0.88p - to my name. 2024 may be trying to kill me.

I haven’t eaten for 2 days (Sertraline plus nothing to eat), I can’t even get anywhere, and I’m questioning a lot about whether I actually want to be here. Anything is appreciated, support, love, prayer, donations (especially) but if you’re reading this please pass this on, please donate anything you can. I’m trying to get my shit together. Please help, if possible. God bless. Please help today if you can. Thank you 🥹❤️🙏🏾 Dee

Being part of the generation to break “generational curses” is absolutely tiring. As in, I’m physically and mentally tired of crying every 5 minutes. Learning and unlearning. “Healing”, whatever the fuck that means - idk if I’m even doing that right. Yes, I’m aware of my experiences and how that has shaped me as an adult today. But at what cost? Speaking of cost, we’re in a cost of living crisis - but what does that mean when you don’t even want to live in the first place.

Attempting to navigate myself in the world, even though I honest to God don’t know what the fuck I’m doing. I’ve been told “everything’s going to work out” and “take one day at a time”. It’s been 9,824 days and I’ve never felt more unfulfilled. Lost. Real talk, the more I learn about myself, the less I want to know.

I often think of having a child in the future (should I become mentally & financially stable lol) and feel immediate guilt. Who wants to bring a child into a planet like this. Who wants to expose them to the same lowness I’ve felt. Baby fever only lasts so long, as babies grow up. What if I end up repeating history? I’ve never been so scared in my life, the source of my fear being my thoughts. I wish I could book a lobotomy or put my brain in the dishwasher lol.

If anyone can assist I’d be MORE than grateful.

Cashapp: £beleshid

PayPal.me/chewe

Cashapp: £beleshid

thank you for sharing/reading/anything tbh

Cashapp: £beleshid

PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/chewe

Cashapp: £beleshid

PayPal: https://www.paypal.me/chewe

Please anything. Love you all

Dee.