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His glare is very hard to ignore. It seems to pierce through anything – and even Finland appeared to be unsettled by it, something Estonia regards as a 'very bad thing' indeed.
“You sure it's okay?” he whispered.
“Not really,” Finland whispers in return. “But it's not like I can just leave or go back,” he sighs.
“I can help you escape,” Estonia said, unable to help himself from glancing around to ensure Sweden hasn't snuck up on them from behind. “I'm not sure how, but If you want me to help you, I'll do it!”
“Thanks,” Finland smiled warmly at him. “I'll tell you if the moment presents itself...”
“Okay,” Estonia nodded.
He couldn’t take on Sweden alone – nor would he even dare to do so either.
He was a giant of a man and Estonia had heard the rumours – it wasn't like someone weak could simply walk away from Denmark like Sweden had done. Oh no. Sweden was strong. Very strong.
Sweden was not a man he wished to fight.
However, Sweden wasn't quite like the rumours made him out to be.
Estonia kept a keen eye on him – hoping to find some weakness to exploit to Finland's benefit; but all he found was that Sweden mostly listened and hardly talked.
He also couldn't help but notice that Sweden was gentle, surprisingly gentle.
Something Finland either seems to not have noticed himself, or chosen to ignore.
Estonia still tried to keep some distance between them, worried Sweden would perhaps show his 'true colours' at a moments notice if he said or did something to anger him.
But Estonia was curious.
A little too curious perhaps.
A curious fool.
“You like cats?” he asks as he find Sweden hunched over a litter of kittens that live in a barn by Estonia’s house.
Sweden only nods, carefully stroking one tiny little black kitten gently.
It's a stark contrast; someone so strong playing so carefully with something that barely takes up half his palm.
“You're pretty, uh, good with them too it seems...” Estonia tries to smile, but it falters the second Sweden's turns his gaze towards him. “I mean, I'm sure you're good at most things,” Estonia blabbers and takes a step back. “Because you're very strong, I heard you beat Denmark and I always though that if anyone could do that they must be really strong-”
“Breathe,” Sweden cuts him off with a calm voice.
Estonia stops and does as told.
One breath.
Two.
Three.
Four.
He feels his shoulders relax a little, and even more so when Sweden stops looking at him and turns his attention towards the kittens again.
Sweden doesn't look that scary when he's not glaring.
Estonia allows himself to study him a little closer – to help Finland of course.
No other reason.
Or so he tells himself over and over again as he continues to stand next to Sweden and the kittens.
It feels odd, this silence between them.
Estonia wants to fill the silence with talk, but he can't think of anything to talk about that won't potentially make Sweden angry.
Sweden doesn't smile – or so Finland said.
'All he does is glare. All the time',' Finland's words echo in Estonia's head.
However, he catches some glimpses of a softer expression on Sweden's face as he sits cross-legged with five kittens climbing all over him.
They're brief and if he blinks he'll miss them, but they're there – a barely visible smile or a brief moment of a peaceful expression.
Estonia can't help but burn the images into his mind.
Sweden looks scary at first, but Estonia is certain there has to be more to him than those rumours.
After all, no one can be so gentle and kind to animals and still be the monster that people whisper about.
“When did you plan on leaving?” Estonia asks, regretting the words immediately as Sweden's gaze shifts from the kittens and towards him - glare appearing to intensify.
“Am I bothering you?” he asks as he carefully stands up, and Estonia isn't sure he's capable of moving an inch any more as Sweden’s glare digs deep inside of him.
“N-no. N-n-not at all,” Estonia stammers and doesn't dare meet Sweden's eyes. He'd need to crane his neck to do so anyway and that doesn't make the situation any better.
“You're scared...?” Sweden remarks so bluntly it takes Estonia by surprise, uncertain if it was a statement of a fact or a question – it's pretty hard to tell with Sweden.
“Well, I mean,” he swallows nervously before he manges to find the right words. “Yes... of course!”
“Of course...” Sweden repeats somewhat dejected.
The silence between them is stifling, so Estonia tries to sneak a glance at Sweden.
He's no longer glaring at him, in fact; Estonia can't quite place what expression Sweden is even making.
“I'll leave,” Sweden grumbles, and despite his unreadable expression, Sweden doesn't sound angry. “Outstayed my welcome,”
“Wait!” Estonia grabs Sweden's hand before he can really think any more about what he's supposed to do next.
Sweden glares at him, and Estonia almost lets him go.
Although, it's not really a glare.
There's another emotion at the bottom of that stare, and it's definitely not anger.
“I mean...” he pauses, but refuses to let go of Sweden's hand. “You do look really scary. And it's really hard not to flinch sometimes, but...”
Sweden stares silently at him so Estonia figures he's allowed to continue to talk.
“You're not that scary... not really. Are you?” he phrases it as a question, but he offers Sweden a small smile.
Sweden's trademark glare falters just ever so slightly and Estonia is certain he can see a trace of a blush on Sweden's cheeks.
Sweden is blushing!
Estonia wants to scream.
He made the big scary giant blush!
Sweden mumbles something incomprehensible as he stares at the ground seemingly embarrassed.
Estonia feels rather brave – if not also bold.
If he knew it was this easy to make Sweden stop looking so angry all the time he'd have done it ages ago.
“Hey,” Estonia says softly and gives Sweden's hand a squeeze. “Relax, I'll let you stay a while longer if you want to,”
“Really?” Sweden's gaze snaps up and for a brief moment Estonia fears for his life, but then Sweden's eyes soften once more and Estonia's fear disperses in an instant.
His heart feels like it's going to burst through his chest at any moment – not from fear this time; he doesn't feel so scared any more.
“Yeah,” Estonia nods and Sweden smiles at him.
Estonia can't help show his surprise.
“Sorry,” Sweden mumbles as his expression goes back to it's usual stern one.
“No,” Estonia replies. “You should smile more like that,”
Sweden nods, and Estonia catches the blush that's spreading over his face.
'It's not so bad to have someone scary looking on your side,' Estonia thinks.
In fact, he'll enjoy it while it lasts.
Sooner or later Sweden and Finland will leave – Estonia can't stop them.
But right now, he'll enjoy it.
The small moments that they can share; just the two of them.
No one else has to know.
It's better that way.
Estonia gives Sweden's hand a squeeze, and Sweden returns the favour.
Just this once – Estonia will allow himself to act selfishly.
Just once.