#estlin

i gave this some serious thought. its the most important question in the world to me. ok so schoenberg's guerre-lieder has 10 horns which really lent strength behind everything However i didnt feel like it was very "horn forward"... vs mahler 4 has only 4 hours and yet it Does feel horn forward (to me). aka i can hear it clear as a bell and it has solos i love etc. this could be my own mahler bias tweaking my perception but anyway what i want to say is that the way the horn is used is more important to me than how many there are. which can also of course be influenced by the conductor and what they are bringing out. and of course what the listener is listening to... 🤡

Prison was not a good look on James. He did what he could, of course, but it was a far stretch from the luxury he had gotten used to, the same luxury that had been so quickly seized from him. He worried about his skin, his hair, the way his clothes contrasted with his skin tone, and he did all this while happily shoving down thinking about the fact that it was very likely that he would spend the rest of his life in this damned hellhole. Somewhere, somehow, there was still a part of him that believed that there was a future; that this was temporary, some kind of charitable trip to some indigent wasteland, that he would get to see his friends in Jupiter again, that he would get to see Jupiter’s twinkling lights or the many moons that glittered his sky — there was only one moon on Earth and it made him feel sick, empty, like there was something missing. 

James: I think I accidentally took your lighter, by the way. I'll give it back.

It’s now critical

mind and body and soul

torn to pieces while

my heart hardens beneath

aged scar tissue.

Crooked stitches have been undone

and old wounds

resurface, made raw and real, again

Coaxed into navigating

the dark waters of

hopeless memories within my mind

to drown mercilessly

into agonizing, despairing

revived hurt

It’s routine

to relive

the pain numbed carelessly

with a quick, dirty

patchwork of lies and hollow truths

that failed to mend

the dull brokenness of my mind

Nevertheless, we insist

on cleaning old wounds

exposing unwitnessed pain

so I can exhale,

survive the pain abandoned in my chest,

and, finally, heal.

achievement unlocked❗️✅️ : receive CHAIN MESSAGE from ESTLIN

ok hard mode.

exo mama

two door cinema club eat that up its good for you

bruckner symphony 4

witcher 3 kaer morhen theme

tchaik piano concerto 1

also easy mode hehe uwu

symphony 2

symph 5

symph 7

symph 1