#estisism

Because you said forever and ever I am waiting with sabr Time goes by you even forget to say hi

(Day 22)

For you, and your most beautiful definition of love

 It seems like I need more days to finish all these letters.

Such this current 22th letter, when I frame your story about love and it best description which your lip ever utters.

Are you still remembering that day when you spoke to me in the perfect bow? In a gaze that you kept as low as you can.

That day you talked about love that leads to piety. Especially when you defined it as the sweetness of imaan. And I only nodded, agreed and embarrassed. Questioning why is that kind of definition often skip out of my wits.

Then you started to analyze the possibilities. You said that you saw that possibilities on me. Oh God, you did not know that at the time, in my shock that I held back as much as possible, I repeatedly yelling my atonic gratitude.

And you finished that topic by invite me for asking more, you said that love is always comeback to Him, and that everything is right after His blessing, so both of our hands should stretch more and more frequently talk and ask to Him. I nodded again and said Ameen.

Esti Maryanti

Nanjing,22th March 2014

For the person who I am reading now

For days, we were dive in a brain game we called word chain. I wrote one word, and then you wrote the next word which instantly appeared in your mind, and again I wrote the next word as soon as you finish write yours. And so it goes, we try to unravel one by one thread in our mind which always tangled. Then we put them in a chain or may be a map. We were mapping you and I.

We finally create more branches on that map, circular to more and more words and connected by arrows pointing and accusing to each other. Suddenly we found that even our map is complicated. It is as tangled as our own logic.

I read you in every silent glances and smiles that you keep as modest as possible. I read your anxious lines which you hide as secret as possible. I read carefully any effort that you try as hard as possible. Then I came to one simple conclusion. You are the most interesting to be read. Because, more I read you more I know that I didn't know

*on the day first time we made our mind map which became my turning point

-estisism-

Nanjing, 21st March 2014

For Indonesian Children … all my extraordinary juniors in the forum

What should I write this time to describe the valuable childhood experiences when the ideals become the key? What should I scratch to unravel the stories of early glories which became the root of a strong identity?

I probably could only say in a set of words, some advices which will be blew by the wind, whether caught by the ears, embodied in the story, or crashing and forgotten.

But if you just want to read, then let me write you this...

Hey juniors, since long time ago, the world has been made up not just of black and white. There some bright pastel colors that represent the vibrant life, while dark colors would representing a grim.

You should know that the brightest pastel colors are appeared in our childhood. It was the period of partying and playing, a time to sing a lullaby and to plant more dreams. So plant your dream seed as much as possible. The seeds which produced through the high quality process of breeding, after well nurtured and well cared will grow up become a tree of your identity, amazingly sturdy, and ready for any hurricane, heavy rains or even a drought.

Let your self have an ultimate dream. Let your self sing even you don’t have a song. Let your self dance steps against gravity, and explore all the creativity till you crazy. 

(When they asked me to write and suddenly I stuck, too many things come to my head)

-estisism-

Nanjing, 20th March 2014