Overhead, the stars shone clear and bright, and though Mala had only once appeared to him at dawn, on the foothills across this very city, though she might be little more than a strange, mighty being from another world, he offered up a prayer anyway.
Then, he had begged Mala to protect Aelin from Maeve when they entered Doranelle, to give her strength and guidance, and to let her walk out alive. Then, he had begged Mala to let him remain with Aelin, the woman he loved. The goddess had been little more than a sunbeam in the rising dawn, and yet he had felt her smile at him.
Tonight, with only the cold fire of the stars for company, he begged her once more.
A curl of wind sent his prayer drifting to those stars, to the waxing moon silvering the camp, the river, the mountains.
He had killed his way across the world; he had gone to war and back more times than he cared to remember. And despite it all, despite the rage and despair and ice he'd wrapped around his heart, he'd still found Aelin. Every horizon he'd gazed toward, unable and unwilling to rest during those centuries, every mountain and ocean he'd seen and wondered what lay beyond... It had been her. It had been Aelin, the silent call of the mating bond driving him, even when he could not feel it.
They'd walked this dark path together back to the light. He would not let the road end here.
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essar x lorcan + kohana, canon divergence/canon era, domestic fluff/general fluff, word count: 2439
Lorcan wakes up in the morning and rolls over without opening his eyes. He searches across the comfortable mattress, mumbling his mate’s name. “Ess,” he rasps, hating the fact that she’s so far away.
She isn’t usually this far when they sleep. Usually, Essar lays nestled in his arms, her curves, lush and heavenly so, fitting perfectly against him. When he still doesn’t find her, Lorcan sighs shortly and pushes himself up, cracking his eyes open. Her side of the bed is cool and the sheets are rumpled.
It’s then that Lorcan realises it’s far brighter than usual. Nearing the midst of winter, most mornings are pitch black. He looks up, to the window, and sees the thick layer of snow that blankets their canvas-covered crops and the forest beyond the field. More flakes fall and Lorcan understands why Essar is not in bed with him.
Ever since they first met, when they were still younglings, Essar has adored the snow. None of the wonder ever fades from the first snowfall of the season.
Slowly, Lorcan gets out of bed. He grabs a heavy wool sweater and holds it in one hand as he pushes their door open. Across from their room, the nursery door is closed. Lorcan knows this means that their youngling hasn’t been woken yet.
He pads quietly into their living room and sees Essar in the kitchen. She sits at the island. They made it by hand, like everything they own, like their cabin, too. A pot of coffee rests on the wooden slab and Essar wraps her fine-boned hand around her favourite enamel mug. Their dishes are a few of the minimal objects they bought in the nearest town, as well as their weapons.
She sips from it, her chin resting against her fist. Lorcan is forced to pause and drink in the sight of her, the way her longs legs are crossed and the way she leans her weight into her elbow, oblivious as she reads something he’s sure she’s read a thousand times over.
He pulls his sweater over his head and leans against the wall, crossing his arms. A soft smile appears on his face.
Once, this was never an option. Lorcan remembers how quickly he came to losing any chance of this, when he answered to Maeve.
The queen’s command was once strong on him, stronger, perhaps, than any other blood oath. He could not deny Maeve a thing, the craving for her approval and validation a never ending ache. When he and Essar matured, and the mating bond connected the pair even more than they always were, Maeve didn’t respect it.
It almost killed him, refusing Essar what she needed, what they both needed.
One night, one night Essar had enough. Enlisting Dresenda, her sister, she broke him out of Maeve’s palace. They kept his head covered until they left the City of Rivers. Lorcan didn’t know where they were. Every step away from the queen pained him more, but he did it willingly, knowing that he would choose Essar over everything and everyone.
It was excruciating to let the blood oath break, let it fester and rot away in his heart. When they knew that the only way Lorcan would survive it would be to make another blood oath, Lorcan swore it to Essar.
“I can tell, you know.”
Lorcan blinks, “Hmm?”
Essar laughs that warm, pealing laugh of hers. “I can tell when you’re staring at me.” In their home, they don’t speak the common tongue, nor the Old Language. They use their own language, a seamless blend of their native tongues.
She slips off of the stool and walks over to meet Lorcan in the middle of the room. He grins sleepily and wraps his arms around her, holding her in a tight hug. Essar sighs gently and melts into him.
“Have you seen the snow yet,” he murmurs. “I thought by now you’d surely be building a snowman or a fort.”
“No, not yet,” Essar says. “Our coconut has never seen snow.”
Lorcan smiles and stands up straight, his hands resting on her hips. “True. How do you think he’ll take to it?”
She tilts her head to the side and covers one of his hands with hers. Essar walks him to the counter and pushes him to the other stool. “Mmm, well, he’s far more adventurous than you grouchy bastard, so like his mother,” she teases, wearing a cocky grin that makes her canines flash.
Lorcan snorts and takes his seat, glancing casually at the open book his mate is reading. His eyes widen for a second when he sees the smutty fiction, clear on the page. He picks it up and reads while Essar takes a mug from the cupboard for him. “He cups her heaving breasts and his throbbing length–”
“Lorcan!” Essar snaps, quickly grabbing the book from him and closing her, her cheeks pinking. “Don’t read my things.”
“Oh, c’mon, I want to see what happens next with his throbbing length,” Lorcan pouts, his wicked smile shining through the feigned disappointment. Essar clicks her tongue and shakes her head, putting the book down on the counter. “Why haven’t you told me that you read that sort of thing? Is my darling mate feeling… otherwise unfulfilled?”
She shoots him a glare as she pours him his coffee. “No and I didn’t tell you because it’s none of your business, mate.” Essar slides onto her chair and faces him, resting her feet against the spindle of his stool. She cups his face and leans forward, kissing him gently. Lorcan rests his hand on her tattooed thigh, his thumb stroking against her skin.
Essar’s sharp teeth scraped against his lip before she swipes her tongue over the small hurt and steps onto the floor. She’s able to press herself tighter against him, hardly forced onto her tiptoes, and winds her arms around his neck, her hands toying absentmindedly in the air behind him. They kiss until she makes a soft noise and pulls back, resting her forehead on his. “Hi.”
Lorcan chuckles and sneaks one last kiss, “Good morning, my love.”
She sits herself back in her seat and Lorcan picks up his coffee. Just before when the sun would normally rise, they woke up to their hungered wails of the babe. Lorcan sat with her as she fed Kohana. He’ll sleep for a little while longer now, as he isn’t normally waking up anymore in the middle of the night.
Lorcan makes them eggs and fries bacon, serving crusty buttered bread on the side. They eat quietly and as Essar gets up to clean the dishes, they hear a familiar curious coo. He stands and kisses her cheek, whispering, “I’ll get him.”
Essar pauses him for a moment. She takes down his low bun and weaves a loose plait, securing the end with a piece of sinew rope. After, Essar returns to the dishes and Lorcan crosses the cabin, slowly opening the door to find their nine-month old standing in his crib, turned towards the window. His hands hold onto the top bar.
The tips of his pointed ears poked through the soft hair on his head, jet black like that of his parents. Lorcan grins and walks to the side of the crib. Kohana turns his head, his eyes wide and confused. “Da-da.”
Lorcan chuckles and his heart clenches as he picks the little Fae up. “Hello, little one.” He pushes Kohana’s hair back and kisses the babe’s forehead. “Shall get dressed, hmm?” Lorcan walks to the dresser. He lays Kohana down and changes him, noting the way the youngling watches the snow, his hands caught in his mouth.
Lorcan’s heart pumps stronger when Essar walks in, like their heartbeats are one. She peers over his shoulder and coos at the child, “Oh, hi, my little one.” Essar slips under Lorcan’s arm, pinching Kohana’s socked foot. Kohana squeals, his big bright eyes landing on his mother’s face. She laughs and picks him up. Essar presses her nose against his soft cheek and inhales, her hand cupping the back of his head. Kohana babbles, glancing out of the window again. “Oh, yes, I know. You’ve never seen snow, have you, coconut?” Essar bounces him and props him on her hip as she walks out of the room.
Lorcan chuckles and shakes his head, tidying the area up. He joins his family and Essar feeds Kohana the mashed yams she made. Like always, Kohana devours it, eating anything his parents present to him.
After, Essar puts Kohana on the soft blanket by the fireplace. She leaves him with a stuffed toy bear that was once hers and he holds onto it fiercely, chewing on one of its stubby legs. Essar goes into their room to change, emerging in rabbit fur-lined leather pants, tall boots, and a thick jacket over her warmer underclothes. Her Lorcan pours her the last cup of coffee and laughs when she pushes him towards the bedroom, “Gods, go change! We’re wasting time outside.”
“He won’t even remember this,” Lorcan says, still dutifully following her commands and walking away.
“I will,” Essar tells him, shooting him a glare. She kneels on the carpet in front of their baby and dresses him in his own fur-lined suit. She coos over him as she covers his head in a woolen hat and ties the strings beneath his round chin. Kohana kicks his feet out and bats the air with his little hands. Essar laughs warmly and lets the small amount of magic she has dance between her fingers.
Kohana gasps, his mouth in a perfect ‘o’. He watches, giggling when the warm flame taps his nose and tickles his chin. Essar gasps softly when her mate’s familiar power wraps around her hips and joins hers. “Ma-ma,” the baby coos and smiles, his canines poking through his pink gums.
Essar picks him up and stands, turning to see Lorcan. He shrugs on his hunting jacket and pulls his braid out. Lorcan wraps an arm around her waist and pulls her into his chest, his eyes on Kohana. “Hi. Oh, hi, mičíŋkši. Look at you, how cute in your wee suit, hmm?” He passes Essar her thick winter mittens and a kiss to the side of her head, “You forgot these.”
“Ah, my saviour,” Essar teases, tucking them in the large front pocket of her jacket. “Whatever would I do without you, hmm?”
He rolls his eyes and says drily, “Don’t patronise me, my darling. We both know how capable you are. Now, the real question is what I would’ve done without you.” They both freeze, images of Lorcan, slave to Maeve, flashing through their minds.
Essar pulls the collars of the shirts he’s layered down and kisses the claiming mark over his pulse, “Well, we don’t have to think about that, so let’s not.” Lorcan’s thumb presses against the corner of her hip, where a matching mark lies. Kohana makes a soft sound and they look at him, grinning happily. He’s not watching them, staring unfalteringly towards the snowy landscape. “Let’s go, yes?”
Lorcan nods and they walk to the front door. He sits to put his own boots on and fixes Ko’s winter moccasins. Kohana frowns and kicks his feet, reaching towards the doors. He whines, looking back at Essar, “Mama.”
“I know, tāku iti kahurangi, we’re going, don’t worry,” she tells him. Lorcan takes Kohana so that his mate can put on her cloak and Essar pushes the door open.
Lorcan stands on the threshold, waiting for a moment. He watches Essar and smiles, loving how happy she is. She crouches, pulling off one of her mittens. Her breath puffs around her face as she touches the fresh, untouched snow. Essar pushes her hood back and looks up, laughing joyfully, “Lorcan! It’s snowing.” She stands up and turns, taking his free hand in both of hers. Essar pulls him out, her eyes on the sky.
“I see that,” Lorcan comments. He passes the babe to Essar so he can close their front door.
When he turns back, Essar is crouching once more, helping Kohana stay upright. He reaches out, carefully, and touches the snow. He gasps, quickly pulling his hand back, “Mama.”
“Yes, it’s cold, isn’t it,” Essar agrees, looking up at Lorcan as he crouches beside her. She points upwards, “Look, do you see?”
Kohana looks up, his round cheeks bright red. His big eyes track a snowflake as it floats down. It lands on the tip of his little nose and he gasps again, trying to walk away from it. He loses his balance and falls, landing on his behind. Lorcan and Essar watch him, waiting for his tears, but they never come.
He laughs, clapping his hands. They smile and sigh in relief. Kohana pats the snow around him and giggles, kicking his legs out. “Dada,” he says. He chatters, trying to gather a handful of snow. He struggles and frowns, fidgeting in irritation.
Lorcan calmly forms a snowball and presents it to the child, letting his power wrap around it. Kohana forgets what he’s trying to do and makes a grabbing motion. Essar leans against Lorcan as he gives the ball to Kohana and he wraps his arm around her shoulders.
Kohana cups the ball and frowns slightly, lifting it to his mouth. He tentatively bites it and purses his lips, frowning harder. Essar chuckles and thumbs the melted snow from his chin, “I know, wee one, it’s cold, yes?”
He eats some more and more, trying to fit the entire thing into his mouth. Lorcan huffs a soft laugh. Essar looks at him as he helps their youngling, who turns away and starts to crawl around, biting into the snow as he goes and eating it. There’s that spark of wonder in his eyes – the one that always makes her heart flutter.
She lifts her hand to his cheek and turns his face to her. Lorcan arches a brow in question. “What is it? Why’re you looking at me like that?”
Essar presses her lips to his and whispers, “I love you, Salvaterre.”
He smiles softly and returns her embrace, “And I you, Tangaroa.”
She turns her head when Kohana shouts and flashes Lorcan a smile before she stands up. Essar makes her way over to the child and Lorcan stands as well, watching for a moment.
This simple life, their simple cabin – his mate and child safe, where he can protect them, it’s all Lorcan’s ever wanted in life. It’s everything he ever needs.
☽ ☼ ☾
an: i hope u guys liked this cause it was so much fun to write !!
in all my fics i write essar as maori (her last 'tangaroa' is the maori god of the sea, lakes, rivers, and creatures that live in them) and lorcan as lakota !
Kohana is a Lakota name meaning 'swift'
translations:
Mičíŋkši: my son in Lakota
Tāku iti kahurangi: my little treasure in Maori
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Can you please do the "I was so stupid to fall in love with my best friend" for Elorcan cause I'm a SLUT for them!
note: thank you for the request! this was my first time writing Elorcan, I hope you'll like it. if you'd like to check my other works, here's the masterlist.
Unrequited Love
Elide is half passed out on her friend's couch, drunk and exhausted when she hears his footsteps.
She can tell it's him when the couch drops beside her from the weight of him and the scent of his cologne surrounds her. Elide had decided to not drink at all but then Aelin had insisted a few shots won't hurt and the woman could be really convincing when she wanted something. Elide hadn't been able to refuse her. Somewhere between all the drinks, she had had the good sense to call Lorcan to fetch her. Gods knew what he'd do if he knew she walked home drunk and alone in the middle of the night.
Lorcan shakes her awake now, voice soft but loud. "Wake up, Elide. I need to get you home."
Elide doesn't want to go home and she tries to tell him as much. The words come out in a slur, incomprehensible to her own self. Distantly, she hears Aelin's voice, offering Lorcan a drink, then something about him being no fun.
She can imagine the scowl on Lorcan's face even with her eyes closed. He is closer now, she knows.
Elide doesn't dare open her eyes, should he notice and know she is awake. Besides, she is so damn tired, she couldn't walk if she wanted to. Lorcan also seems to realise that and scoops her up in his arms. She buries her face in his chest when they step outside, the cold air biting her skin. "It's so cold," she says, unsure if Lorcan understands the slurred words.
Her best friend pulls her closer, walking towards his car parked outside.
Elide can't help but think this feels so good, like she was made to fit in his arms. The harsh features of his face look beautiful lit up in the moonlight, his dark eyes trained ahead. He is beautiful and she loves him. Elide has known that for a few months now, has never had the nerve to tell him.
She tightens her hold on him and lets out a small sound, making him halt. Elide tilts her head up, eyes trained on his lips and she leans in. Lorcan stares at her, unmoving. The alcohol has made her bold and she doesn't intend to waste the moment, almost about to kiss him—
"Is she fine?" A female voice asks.
Lorcan's head snaps up, then a small smile caresses his face. "Yeah, a little drunk but fine. I'm sorry we had to cut our date short but I'll make it upto you the next time?"
Heat floods through her cheeks in embarassment and Elide can only hope that the girl doesn't realise Elide had been about to kiss her childhood best friend. Has she figured it out? Does Lorcan know what Elide was about to do, the disaster she was about to create before they were interrupted?
The girl smiles from what Elide can tell. She seems like a kind person. "It's not a problem. Call me when you can."
Elide's chest aches at the happiness in Lorcan's voice as he helps her into the backseat of his car, strapping the seatbelt on. "Of course, Essar."
She watches as Essar takes a seat in the front—the seat he never let anyone but her sit in. She watches the smiles the beautiful girl passes him, the adoration in his gaze when he looks back at his date. He looks at her the way Elide wished he would look at her. She wants to scream in frustration or claw someone's eyes out or drink even more until she can't feel a thing. She wants to get out of the car in the middle of nowhere but she stays silent, pretending to be asleep and oblivious.
Lorcan turns back in his seat when the car halts to drop Essar off. "You alright, Elide? I'm sorry I brought her along. We were on a date when you called and…"
"I understand." She does understand. It doesn't stop her from wishing she had had the sense to make her move on him months ago when she had first realised.
She is quiet for the rest of the ride home. When Lorcan tries to pick her, she gets out on her own, stumbling towards her front door. He hovers nearby to ensure she doesn't fall face first (which she would have if he hadn't been there to catch her) and only leaves once she is inside does he leave. She watches his car disappear before making her way towards the kitchen, slumping onto one of the chairs.
Manon, her roommate and another best friend looks worried. "You look like shit. What happened?"
The words break some inner barrier inside her, tears flooding down her cheeks. "I was so stupid to make the mistake of falling in love with my best friend. Now I get front row seats to watch him fall in love with someone else." Elide buries herself in Manon's arms, sobbing out of frustration and anger before she gets herself together and the two of them spend what is left of the night watching bad action movies and making fun of them.
Elide knows two things for sure now: she lost her one chance with Lorcan Salvaterre and she has no one to blame for it but herself.
