#erp is two

Bless daycare being open on a day I have off work. Dropped Erp off at 8am, went out to breakfast with Kevin and Aug, then have been lounging in bed the rest of the day. It's 4pm now.

Sure I did one load of laundry and cleaned up the kitchen from the morning when we got home from breakfast, but literally the rest of the day has been spent in bed scrolling TikTok.

I haven't had a day this relaxing since I was pregnant with Erp. Long live days off with childcare*.

Dinner will be some form of takeout/delivery because keto diet starts back up tomorrow. Kevin originally suggested steak and broccoli for dinner and I told him that wasn't allowed the day before a diet starts. So now I'm in charge of figuring out what to order 😁

I’ve always struggled with transitions and we are currently smack dab in the middle of yet another one.  Really, this whole year has been a transition as it’s literally called Kevin’s “Transitional Year” of residency.  

We’re still in Virginia just waiting until we can move to Pennsylvania.  We need to be there by the end of June and, as you know, we started putting offers in on houses.  We’ve now submitted three offers and are about to put in on a fourth.  

For the first house we went in at $10k over asking and it went to a buyer for $51k over asking and with all inspections waived. 

For the second house we went in at $30k over asking (with a $15k appraisal difference and $5k worth of damages found from inspections covered by us).  It went to a buyer for only $5k over asking ($25k LESS than we were offering) but with all inspections waived. 

For the third house we went in at asking (with a $15k appraisal difference, and $5k worth of damages found from inspections covered by us) and we should hear back by today on that one, though we’re not hopeful given our less than competitive offer. 

We didn’t go hard on this one due to the fact that it’s at the high end of our commute length preference and we didn’t expect the house to get appraised at asking let alone anything over. 

For the next house we believe we’ll be going in at $20k over asking with the same $15k appraisal difference and $5k inspection thing.  

I’m sure once we start getting desperate we’ll have to waive inspections but given that we don’t expect to see the house until after it’s ours, an inspection sure feels like the smart thing to do.  

Even though I’ve been eating like a complete jerk, I have made it a priority to get out for at least a brisk 30 minute walk every day.  Before this week I hadn’t made it out to walk much since my maternity leave ended on December 15th because I didn’t know how to fit it in.  Since I can never get enough sleep due to babies, I didn’t want to wake up at 5 a.m. to fit in a walk before work starts at 9 a.m.  I haven’t wanted to be away from my computer during the work day so I could be as responsive as possible and be the best employee I could be, despite fellow co-workers and manager telling me work/life balance needs to be a thing.  An after work walk feels impossible due to dinner time, bath time, bed time, then cleaning up from child destruction, leaving only an hour in my day where I can sit and watch a show before going to bed at a reasonable hour because, again, lack of sleep due to bebes.  

How have I managed to walk then? Rather than insisting upon my normal 5 mile, 1.5 hour walk (I have said MANY times that a walk isn’t worth it unless it’s 5 miles), I told myself that 30 minutes is okay.  It’s better than not walking at all.  I just need to get outside and get moving.  I found a quick loop and I’m making it happen.  Only one time so far have I gotten pinged by work and felt the need to rush back so I could reply to someone about a scheduling question.  Learning that I, too, can take a lunch break and get some sunshine and exercise has made a big difference.  

Though, despite this newfound dopamine, I’m still finding myself struggling.  I think it’s both because of this transition period where I’m constantly looking at homes and falling in love - planning out our entire lives in a house only to have it fall through.  But also because now that it seems like restrictions are lifting for covid, I’m seeing evidence of everyone getting together with friends, planning trips and living life.  For the past two years I was able to blame covid on not doing anything but now that that’s not as strong of an excuse anymore I feel extra stuck and lonely.  Even if I wanted to take a trip, I wouldn’t be able to do so due to my husband’s never-ending work schedule and my extreme lack of childcare with zero family/friend resources nearby.  All my friends with kids are on the other side of the country so I can’t even have mini playdates.  Sure, I could make friends here but we’ve had one foot out the door since moving here in April.  

I know this is just a season of life and what we get for pursuing Kevin’s medical education on the other side of the country.  I chose to have a life full of kids and I’m SO grateful I am even blessed enough to have one let alone two children, especially after all those bitter years of infertility.  Yet here I am still longing for what’s next.  I look forward to once we’ve moved to Philadelphia and get settled into a home we hopefully love.  Being only a 2.5 hour train ride to @nycnomad and a 3 hour drive to my sister’s house.  I hope that since we’ll be in PA for at least four years we’ll be able to settle in and actually make some friends.  I know what we’re experiencing isn’t forever but I’m so looking forward to Kevin having a more regular work schedule let alone when he’s an actual attending and gets 10+ weeks off a year. When our kids are older and have friends which make us friends.  I’m not saying I’m unhappy with where we’re at at all.  I absolutely adore my life and children and don’t want them to grow up at all, yet also can’t wait to be out of this currently super challenging two-year old phase.  

I’m just all over the place :) 

Some photo mentions:

Photo 4:  Erp found my tweezers and was helping me tweeze my chin hair :)

Photo 10:  This morning Erp and I put 10 pairs of socks on her :) She was quite proud of this and I’m hoping I didn’t encourage a behavior she’s going to now want to do every morning. 

Other life updates:

Finally moved Aug out of our bedroom and started sleep training.  Both awful and wonderful at the same time. 

I downloaded TikTok and am obsessed with all the cleaning and organizing videos which amazingly inspires me to continuously stay on top of deep cleaning my house.  Unexpected outcome of that app.