#ericapkin

 - first thing I recalled was trolling karkat maryam. I was saying to him "damn kar, so after all I've done for you you won't go out with me" (which btw shit move ericap) and he replied with "no eridan i wont" and i wrote "its not even like we'll be ( ) or anything" and kar reiterated that no, he wasn't interested in that at this time. I got kinda pissed, staring at the green text on my screen and feeling like he was jerking me around(?) so i wrote back a surly "fine!" And stalked off away from the computer, curled up in a corner and cried. (I had a headache in this mem so maybe that soooort of explains why i was being an ass. Idk. )

 I'm not sure if kar had been giving me mixed messages leading up to this, or if i was just desperate? I seemed to think it wasn't unreasonable but there's no telling how much of that is an accurate reflection of our interactions 

 -i then remembered arguing with Sollux Makara over something. I distinctly remember his facepaint so I'm probably going to sketch that later, it had like jagged line edges around the sides of the mouth and under the eyes. I think he still wore his shades, and when i saw him his eyes were glowing purple with chucklevoodoos? I tried picturing him with normal troll eyes but that looked wrong so i think he always kinda looked like that. I don't recall what he fight was but it ended with him slapping my face i think (not super hard though) and i think that's what led into the memory of me storming off on the beach and grumbling angrily about him. 

- i also tried to remember my godtier look - definitely doom aspect, and try as i might I could only picture canon Eridan's white wand as my weapon? My godrobes were princelike as well. 

 - I don't think everyone was godtier when fighting the Black King. I feel like Sollux wasn't at least. 

 -when I attacked the black king, it angered him and i think he struck me with something like a tentacle limb? (Idk how prototyping went so i dunno if that's accurate). But he struck me super hard into the eyes in such a way it badly damaged them, especially since my glasses were on my face (whoops). 

 -I remembered getting smacked across the room and into a wall by my bear lusus. I guess I hadn't given him the honey i needed to in time? And he got really angry and just swung at me with one of those big paws. I feel like this is an earlier memory, and the reason behind why my headaches were so bad and so frequent, since i hit my head hard. I felt like I retaliated with my powers in a non fatal way, but now i feel more like maybe i just thought about it, or did it at a later point in time. 

 -I remembered a memory with Karkat Maryam, probably before getting rejected. He was helping me by treating my wounds, i guess i had lashed out in anger over something and seriously hurt my hand in the process? Whatever i did it had warranted a small lecture from him as he applied bandages and whatnot. I wasn't listening though, i was too busy feeling the essence of 'have you ever seen a troll so beautiful you just started crying' lmao. 

 - kar was wearing a red longnecked tank in this memory, and his hair and features were pretty soft. His eyelashes were fairly long too.