Hey umm I made a pride flag for my identity as an erebeau. Please don’t repost or edit anywhere w/o crediting me if anyone ever uses it. (The version on the right is is the white erebeau symbol, it’s just on a transparent bg)

I chose black and purple, as purple is a color of royalty and beauty, and black represents an absence of light (or in this case an absence of gender). Together they give the look of a beautiful dark night sky, the beauty of that darkness being what inspired the word erebeau. (Erebus - primordial deity of darkness)

(Tldr at the end)

I'm a completely unaligned person, meaning any attribution in any way shape or form to gender makes me extremely uncomfortable.

So for a long time I've wanted a word for myself, a word that only means completely unaligned, with no ties to gender at all. While I appreciate efforts made by others, it always feels as an afterthought and just not representative of my own feelings and identity.

So, if only for my own use, I'd like to coin a word for my being as a completely unaligned person. The word erebeau is what I've come up with. Erebeau (air-eh-beau [as in beauty]) : Noun. A person who completely and totally rejects gender attribution in any and every way. A person wholely without gender or gender affiliation. An erebeau is a person completely unattached in any way at all ever to any gender.

Ex:

“They aren't ever a boy or a girl in any way whatsoever. They are an erebeau."

"That erebeau is so pretty! I wonder if xie would go on a date with me?"

"That's my cute erebeau! I love you so much."

“Wow, that erebeau did really well on the test! He’s super smart!"

"Oh, you're such a silly erebeau! You're so much fun to be around!"

Other words I've found have been either attributed to partially aligned or gendered people, and it makes me really uncomfortable to be placed in the same scope as a person with gender or gender association. "Erebeau" is my way of being who I am without being grouped in with anyone of any sort of gender and to try to find comfort in who I am without being forced into a gendered association.

Etymology: “ere” comes from Erebus, the primordial deity of darkness. in Greek Mythology. I’m a Hellenic polytheist myself, and using Erebus’ name is a way for me to grow closer with Erebus. However other Hellenic polytheists might not feel the same, which I understand. “Beau” comes from the word beauty. I rarely if ever see positivity for enbies like me, so having such a positive part of my label is really helpful for my self esteem. Beau could also be used as shorthand for an erebeau as well!

Who can be an erebeau?

Anyone who is always completely unaffiliated with any gender is welcome to use the erebeau label! However, people who fluctuate or affiliate to a gender cannot use it. So please, if you use words like lesbian, (demi)boy, (demi)girl, genderfluid, agender boy/girl, (stell)solarian, (stel)lunarian, ect, please don't use erebeau for yourself!! Erebeau is a way of being completely unattached in ANY way at all ever to gender! (Note: pronouns are not gendered, so an erebeau can use any pronoun, even he or she!)

I’ll be honest I’ve got mixed feelings, because I’ve changed a good bit since coining the term. I don’t like the idea of policing other people’s labels but at the same time erebeau was my way of trying to find and carve out a place for myself.

So like on the one hand no, sorry, erebeau is specifically not feeling any kind of gender or gender attachment, at all, ever. It’s a signifier that the person is entirely removed from the concept of having a gender(s) with no exceptions ever. Erebeau itself isn’t a gender, it’s the absence of gender and gender connections. It’s also a rejection of gender conflation or association, so like any other gendered label (gendered not as in an identity around gender, but the concept itself) is non-compatible.

On the other hand I can’t control other people and I’m not as insecure in my place as a non gendered person, tbh partially I think because I’m no longer surrounded in a community with such a focus on something I just cannot relate to (having a gender). So I’m not as protective or defensive about the label because it’s well just a label. A word. The concept itself is still important to me but I can’t let myself be consumed in policing others.