#equl

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Just a rambling.

So this has been bugging me for ages. (Or the last week or so) This guy I've been texting, and sort of dating, but not actually going on dates because he works weeks, I work weekends, I'm busy. And it's getting frustrating because I don't even want him any more and I've worked out why, summed up in one nice little text from him, he idolises me. In a non big headed way, he's stuck me up on some pedestal as his saviour and his light and this totally amazing girl he doesn't deserve, and well I don't deserve it. I'm human, I have faults, I've been crabby as hell this week and up and down like a yo yo, and he tells me not to apologise, he tells me it's him. and it's not, it's me, I know well I am being out of line. I know I'm being a bitch, so let me apologise to you. Stop idolising me and let me be a human who fucks up, and makes bad choices, and gets in random moods and takes it out on people who don't deserve it. Because that is who I am. And I have good points too, but if he can only see the good now one day he's going to wake up and realise I'm not his saviour, or something to be worshipped, I'm an equal, and he's going to be disappointed that I'm not what you made me up to be, because I can't be who you think I am. I'm sorry.