#equal-rights

“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.” ― Audre Lorde

Quote of the day – Walter Winchell

“Never above you. Never below you. Always beside you.” – Walter Winchell http://www.pinterest.com

I find sexism puzzling.

Blame the movies of the 80s: I grew up watching women govern corporations (often better than men), lead their babysitting charges safely through the wilds of Chicago, and become entrepreneurs while enjoying their children.

You can also blame my mom, who took up all the slack caused by my dad’s illness and then some. She went back to school, secured a job as an English public school teacher, and made sure my sister and I had a roof over our heads, clothes on our growing bodies, and plenty of food. My dad spent my formative years sinking into depression and drug addiction. My mom spent them kicking ass.

So when I encounter someone that thinks women aren’t just as good as men at something, I’m dumbfounded. It’s like hearing an adult claim the moon is made of blue cheese. WTF?

And it pops up everywhere.

The contractors we had help us build a deck at our house in Arkansas wouldn’t listen to my wife. If she made a suggestion, or asked them to fix something that was structurally unsound, they’d ignore her. But if the same words came out of my mouth? Instant action.

I wanted to shake those guys and say, “Don’t you realize that the only reason you’re here, getting paid, is because of her? That if it were up to me, the entire yard would be a jungle inhabited by feral cats?” Their behavior wasn’t just bizarre to me, or unfair, it was downright self-defeating.

It’s not just Southern good-old-boys, either. Doctors and nurses will ignore my wife’s description of her symptoms, but listen with rapt attention when I repeat them. Car salesmen will talk to just me about a new car, even when we’re buying the car for my wife.

It’s like they have a special form of brain damage, that only allows them to understand something if it’s said by a man.

I’m sick of it, but I’m still not exactly sure how to counteract it. For salesmen and contractors, we just take our business elsewhere. But what should we do about the ear nose and throat specialist that might be a great surgeon even if he’s a sexist asshole? Would calling him out help?