#eqgam

Hii @astrallogic I was your @homestuckss this year!

INFO -sadstuck -no recuperacoons whoops sorry

TRIGGER WARNINGS -cheating (I don't actually know if this counts as cheating?)

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OKAY ANON PREPARE YOUR ASS

If you’ve read SAitB you know that I tend to favor pitch ships that involve “pissing off your partner for shits and giggles” as a dynamic, and that’s pretty much where I’m coming from for GamQuius as well! Gamzee is very free spirited and likes to play around as much as anyone, likes to have a good time and all that, and Equius is AWFULLY UPTIGHT. It takes like, -500 effort in order to get that guy riled up. So I can see Gamzee looking at Equius all flustered and sweaty and blushing and just think it’s the most motherfucking hilarious thing he’s ever encountered. Sorta like when your friend gets embarrassed because they did something silly so you tease them about it, all in good fun? Like that, but more intense. Gamzee thinks its so motherfucking funny to just needle this dude, or does stupid shit just to get Equius to open his mouth- stop- sigh in resignation, “Okay.” Like that’s so fuckin funny you know?

And Equius only feeds into it. Now that Gamzee’s off sopor and has a couple functioning neurons to rub together, Gamzee’s finally reciprocating his advances, but instead of the big swooping grandeur way that Karkat’s movies or ancient epics (which Equius is more inclined to have read) depict, Gamzee is just being an annoying little shit! And it’s pitch but not in the way that gratifies Equius, which only makes him MORE riled up and so he keeps telling Gamzee that he’s annoying and detestable and the worst person ever and Gamzee just looks him dead in the face and LAUGHS at him and it is the most frustrating, attractive, god-awful thing ever and Equius just HATES him for it, works himself right up into a fray over it.

Which, of course, is exactly the reaction Gamzee wanted. So Gamzee needles him more, makes like a gnat and just bothers the shit out of this sweaty brother, and Equius’s reactions continue to just be so motherfucking funny to him. And Gamzee has a leg up in the situation, see, and that’s really hilarious because technically he knows he can tell Equius to do anything he wants, and Equius will do it, but Gamzee just sorta takes that into his own hands and uses THAT to annoy Equius too.

Also please picture Gamzee stumbling into Equius’s hive, grinning delightedly about something, kickin’ a wicked elixir, and just. Draping himself over whatever Equius is doing. Or draping himself over Equius. And then smooching Equius right on his gross n sweaty cheek before telling him he tastes salty and licking his face because he’s a disgusting, gross, dirty clown and Equius is a disgusting, gross, sweaty horse and Equius gets even sweatier bc Gamzee is bein gross and affectionate and Gamzee thinks that is the cutest motherfuckin’ thing and he just plants a big ol sloppy kiss on Equius and they’re both gross and dumb and need like five million showers and they’re makin’ out and Gamzee tastes like soda and Equius has to v e r y carefully hold him around the waist so he doesn’t hurt this stupid, annoying, beautiful miracle in his arms and like

If I am recalling correctly, this was my first pitch ship! Equius flirts with Gamzee literally canonically NIGHTLY, and from the convo we saw he was the BLUNTEST motherfucker we have ever encountered about it. He literally said “I despise you” and I just… Gamzee how… did you miss… that he was gay for you….

Anyway, I think their kismesitude could be really cute! Gamzee would get a shitload of kicks out of riling Equius up for shits and giggles, and Equius would get roundabout gratification from it because everything about that boy is neurotic and convoluted. Gamzee would force Equius to better himself via casual “well I mean if ***I*** can do it and I’m such a mess, like you’re always saying, why can’t you?” and Equius would prompt Gamzee into bettering himself via nagging, because Equius actually really likes to nag? A lot? I know Kanaya is the Mom Friend (and she absolutely is) but I feel like people really gloss over how FUSSY Equius is! Gamzee would be equal parts annoyed and begrudgingly affectionate about it, since this IS Equius showing that he cares, it’s just annoying, and Equius would like the freedom that being in a defined kismesitude would give because the pitch quad has the RULES of you gotta annoy your partner which means he can NAG as MUCH as he WANTS

001 | send me a ship and I will tell you:

when I started shipping it if I did: Hmmm… I believe it was shortly after Andrew Hussie explained quadrants to us/Karkat explained quadrants to John. After learning about kismesitude it suddenly became very clear that Equius was not JUST awkward and tense, but romantically interested in Gamzee in a pre-established manner!

my thoughts: GOOD SHIP!!!! Probably my pitch OTP? There’s no other pairing I ship in only pitch, in basically every AU I make. SO yeah, definitely OTP material.

What makes me happy about them: They’re so cute tbh??? Gamzee being a lil shit is an adorable mental image and Equius is just so flustered and SO into Gamzee and they just makes me happy

What makes me sad about them: Lil’ Cal entered the scene and made Gamzee kill Equius and I’m going to be upset about Equius getting killed by his crush from now until the day I die :(

things done in fanfic that annoys me: When people write Gamzee as murderous/barely leashed and Equius finding that hot. Like y’all…. did you notice the part where Equius was literally FROZEN IN FEAR when Gamzee strangled him to death????

things I look for in fanfic: Are they going to be lovingly antagonistic towards each other

Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other: Pitch EquiAra has its merits (though I prefer flush, certainly) and pitch EriGam or GamSol are v aesthetically pleasing

My happily ever after for them: Equius settles down in a hive with Nepeta and continues messaging Gamzee every night. Gamzee settles down in a hive with Karkat and Dave and messages Equius back every night. They go bowling together and Gamzee embarrasses Equius in front of their friends bc they both enjoy it when it happens. Equius tries to do something sexy and Gamzee honks his nose with a laugh.

who is the big spoon/little spoon: Depends on the day!