“Fili, if you canget him to wear his tie, I’ll consider letting you skip practice for the restof the week.” The director handed the material off to the other student beforemoving along to the next crisis that was beginning to happen in the trumpetsection.

Kili fidgeted, facered as Fili looked at him and grinned. They’d never actually had a conversationbefore. Kili was the opposite of cool and could barely play Third Flute letalong First.

“What do you haveagainst ties?” Fili asked even as he stepped closer, straightening the materialin his hands.

Kili wrinkled hisnose, focusing on the tie instead of Fili so that hopefully he’d stop blushing.“They choke me…and they make me look like a dork.” He admitted, but Fili waswearing a tie so they couldn’t be so bad, right?

The blond laughedeven as he held both ends of the tie and threw the loop over Kili’s head, handsimmediately folding it into a proper knot. “The tie isn’t what makes you looklike a dork, you dork.” Fili’s grin softened the insult, and the sight ofdimples on the other boy’s cheeks was enough to make Kili return the grin.“There. If it starts to choke you, just tug down like this.” He explained as hedemonstrated just how to tug the knot.

To Kili’s surprise,the tie didn’t feel too tight at all, and he was able to slide the knot quiteeasily without it coming apart on him. “Thanks.” He could actually wear it now.

“No problem.” Filipromised even as he ruffled Kili’s messy brown hair, making the younger boysqueak and bring his hands up to try to fix what had already been a mess. “Seeyou on stage dork!” Laughing, Fili made his way back to where he’d been settingup his own instrument.

***

“Fili! Help me!”Kili whined from somewhere deep in his closet, clothing getting tossed out andonto the floor. “I don’t know what to wear!” He stumbled out, a t-shirt wrappedaround his neck and a pair of shoes tangled around one ankle.

The blond stretchedout across his bed looked up from his science textbook with an amused grin.“Clothing is always a good choice. That shirt really brings out your eyes.” Heteased, motioning to the shirt around Kili’s neck.

The brunet groanedas he unwrapped it and flung it to the floor. “I’m serious. This is my firstdate and I want to make a good impression! Help me!” Kili literally got down onhis knees and walked to the bed, holding his clasped hands up as hedramatically pleaded to his best friend.

Fili rolled his eyesat Kili’s dramatics – they were teenagers. Dramatics were an everyday thing.“You’re taking Tauriel to the school dance, right?”

“Duh.” Kili rolledhis eyes because that was obvious. “I wish you were going too.” He muttered,allowing his arms to flop along the bed and Fili’s legs.

“Can’t. Gotta study.You know how my dad is.” It had been Fili’s excuse since the dance wasannounced, but Kili knew better. Fili’s father might have been a little bit ofa hardass when it came to his son’s grades, but he still would have let Fili goto a dance.

Deciding not to pushthe subject lest he upset his friend, Kili sighed. “You’re such a nerd.” Hebreathed out, “So help me then. I don’t want to look like a dork when I show upto meet Tauriel.” He mumbled into the mattress as he looked up at the otherboy.

“Well, too late forthat. You’re already a dork.” Fili smirked and reached over to ruffle Kili’shair, laughing when the reaction was a pitiful whine and a lazy swipe of one ofKili’s arms. “But I guess I can help you look less like one.” He decided as heclimbed off the end of the bed and moved over to the closet to look. “Oh god…doyou expect me to work miracles with this stuff?” He huffed even as he reachedinto the space and pulled a few hangers aside.

“Fili.” Kili flopped onto the bed,blankets still warm and still lingering with the scent of the blond. “You’re somean to me.” He complained petulantly.

“You make it soeasy.” Fili stepped away, an outfit held up so Kili could see. “Wear this.”

Kili looked at theoutfit and then looked at Fili. “You can’t be serious. That’s a suit.”

“Thank you CaptainObvious. You’re going to a formal youidiot. Nice suits and fancy dresses. You know Tauriel’s putting a lot of effortinto this.” Fili moved over to the bed where Kili lay, holding out the hanger.“I heard Eowyn say they’re getting their hair done and everything. You don’twant to look like a loser in jeans and a grubby t-shirt when she’s dressed likea princess, do you?”

Kili chewed his lip.Fili had a very good point and he reallywanted to impress Tauriel. He’d been crushing on her for two years and hadfinally gotten the courage to ask her out thanks to Fili’s encouragements.“You’re going to make me wear a tie with this aren’t you.” Brown eyes narrowedat the innocent smile on the blond’s face.

“Yep!” Fili chirpedhappily as he laid the suit out on the bed so Kili could change. He knewexactly where Kili kept the one tie he’d received from his grandmother oneChristmas before high school and moved over to the dresser to dig it out.

Kili groaned butrelented, getting up and changing into the suit. He was surprised it fit sincehe hadn’t worn it in forever. He looked up to find Fili staring at him, and whenthe blond realized it, he smiled and brought the tie over.

“You look good.”Fili promised as he looped the tie around Kili’s neck because Kili had neverlearned how to tie one, and besides, he kind of liked Fili doing it for himanyway. It was how they’d met and became friends after all. It was tradition.“You still look like a dork, but at least you’re a better dressed dork.”

“Thanks!” Kililaughed even as he punched Fili’s shoulder.

“You’d be lostwithout me.” Fili smirked as he pulled the knot up to Kili’s neck, wiggling thematerial until it sat in the right place. “There.” He insisted, “Dressed toimpressed.”  And then Fili did somethingthat neither expected; he kissed the end of Kili’s nose.

They both paused fora moment and stared at each other with wide eyes, blushes slowly beginning tocreep across their cheeks.

It was Fili whoshook himself out of it first and he rolled his eyes at himself, “Oh fuck it.Just have fun, alright? Do you have Tauriel’s corsage?”

“Fun. Yeah.” Kili wasmore focused on the fact that his nose was tingling than what Fili was saying.Until terror struck him hard, “Oh shit! The corsage!”

“Whoa!” Fili’s handson Kili’s shoulders were the only thing grounding the brunet. “Pretty sure yourmom stuck it in the fridge downstairs. Don’t panic, Kee. Things will work out.”He promised, and Kili hoped he was right.

***

Things with Taurieldidn’t end up working out, but things with Fili, on the other hand, did. Kilieventually learned the real reason why Fili hadn’t wanted to go to the dance,and it had pretty much changed their lives.

***

“You’re making mewear a bloody tie?” Kili looked at his boyfriend, stricken to the core as Filithreateningly held the tie in his hands. He wasn’t sure how exactly holding a tie was threateningly, but he feltthreatened.

“I let you get awaywith it at my graduation, but you’re not getting away with it for your own.”Fili insisted. Fili had always been a year ahead of Kili and had graduated theyear before. It had been lonely finishing the last year of high school withoutbeing able to see his best friend in the halls at school or being able to sitwith him at lunch or during band practices and concerts. “Your grandmother willwant pictures and you know she’ll be ecstatic if she sees you all dressed up.”

“Really?” The brunetlaughed as he surrendered and allowed Fili to loop the tie around his neck.“You’re using my grandmother as anexcuse?” He teased as he leaned forward, stealing a few kisses as Fili tried toconcentrate on tying the stupid tie. “Fee~” He sang triumphantly as he noticedthe tips of Fili’s ears turning red. “Fili.” He said more calmly, but the largeshit eating grin that had blossomed on his face wouldn’t go away. He grabbedFili’s hips even as the tie was tied.

“I find you hot in asuit okay?” Fili finally admitted, glancing up at Kili once as he slid the knotto rest just right around Kili’s neck.

This was news toKili, but pleasant news all the same. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? You candress me up any time you want as long as you promise to undress me later.” Heeven wiggled his eyebrows for effect, and he got the reaction he was lookingfor.

Fili laughed, “JesusChrist you dork. But at least you’re my dork.” He shook his head beforegrabbing the tie and pulling Kili to him. A kiss was bestowed upon the tip ofKili’s nose, because along with Fili always being the one to tie Kili’s tie,the kiss had become tradition too. Another kiss was pressed to his mouth anddeepened rather quickly. When they pulled apart, they were both a littleflushed and out of breath. “Proud of you.” Fili murmured against his lips evenas their noses rubbed together.

“Thanks.” Kiligrinned, proud of himself too, and happy that things were moving along. The twoplanned on finding a place and moving out together, and who wouldn’t be excitedabout that? “Love you, you know?”

“I love you too.”

***

“Oh my god, Filino!” Kili cried as he let his shoulders slump in defeat as the blond grabbedhim and dragged him closer so that he could swing a tie around Kili’s neck.

Fierce blue eyesglared at him, daring him to put up a fight. Kili wasn’t that brave. “You are wearing a tie to my wedding, Kili,or else you’re no longer invited.” Fili’s voice was firm and all business.

The brunet grinnedeven as he straightened enough to make Fili’s job easier. “Fee, if I don’t showup to the wedding, you won’t be marrying anyone.” He pointed out cheekily,rocking back on his heals just a little because he couldn’t make it that easy, especially not when he wasalready filled to the brim with excitement.

They were getting married.

“Oh, I’m sure Icould find someone who wants to marry me.” Fili mused as he finally finishedwith the tie, straightening it more than it had to be because he was nervousand wanted things to be perfect. “I get along with your cousin. Maybe he’d beinterested.”

Kili reached up andtook a hold of Fili’s hands before his ‘fixing’ ended up untying the materialand starting all over again. “As if I could let you marry Gimli, oh my god no. I’ll wear the tie.” He promised before hebrought his fiancé’s hands up so he could kiss them both. “I’d wear a dress ifit meant marrying you.”

Fili snickered, butKili could tell he was pleased. “The tie will do.” He leaned forward and Kiliclosed his eyes, grinning at the soft press of lips to the tip of his nose. “Readyto spend the rest of our lives together?”

“So ready.”

The door to the roomthey were getting dressed in burst open and a rather frazzled redheaded maid ofhonour stood in the doorway. “Come on you two, are you getting married orwhat?” Tauriel demanded.

And the weddingbegan.

***

Kili was choking.The tie around his neck was way too tight and he couldn’t breathe. It felt likehe was suffocating around the large lump in his throat that wouldn’t go awaynot matter what he tried.

He hooked a fingerin the material and pulled, attempting to loosen it. His mother had tied it andit was uncomfortable and too tight.

“I can’t breathe.”He managed to gasp before all but collapsing on the floor where he stood; theworld beginning to dim as air refused to pass through his lungs.

“Kili. Kili, you’repanicking.” A voice said from far away but it wasn’t the right voice, it wasn’tFili. “It’s okay, just let it happen.” There was the vague sensation of a handrubbing along his back. “I think he just needs a moment. Can everybody give ussome privacy, please?”

A moment? No. Heneeded a lifetime. He couldn’t do this. This wasn’t happening. He was trappedin a nightmare and couldn’t get out. Theywere supposed to spend the rest of their lives together.

“Oh baby.” Hismother was beside him, hands too warm within his own. He felt so cold now.“Just let it happen.” She repeated, used to these panic attacks that had onlyrecently started.

Started since…

“Mom.” He finallymanaged to croak out. “I can’t do this.” He forced the words passed the lumpstill sitting in his throat. “I can’t do this. Please don’t make me do this.”He begged, his voice trembling and breaking into a sob.

“Oh honey.” Shewrapped him up in a hug, rocking him a bit in an attempt to soothe. “I wish itworked that way, baby. I hate seeing you suffer so much.” She kissed the top ofhis head and squeezed him a little tighter. “But you don’t have a choice,sweetie. You have to be strong. Fili would have wanted you to be strong.”

It was hearing thename that finally pushed the lump out of his throat, and Kili burst into messyheart shattering sobs.

How was he supposedto be strong when the only person he’d ever loved lay in the next room in afucking coffin?

He clung to hismother helplessly as his body was racked with grief. “H-how does a-anyoneexpect m-me to go on w-without him?” He whimpered into his mother’s shoulder,soaking her black dress with his tears.

Her fingers combedthrough his hair, her own voice wet with tears. “Nobody expects you to doanything right away, baby.” She promised, “You mourn him for as long as youneed, but then you take it one day at a time. Fili wouldn’t want you to be sadforever.”

“Then he shouldn’thave fucking died!” Kili almost shouted but his voice was muffled in hismother’s shoulder. “He shouldn’t have died…” He repeated brokenly, wishing hecould wake up and have Fili sleeping beside him.

But he’d never havethat again. Kili’s nightmare had just begun.