Critical Role Quotes and Memorable Moments - Campaign 2 (84/?)
Liam [rolling a double natural 20]: "I need a cigarette."
[As Caleb succeeds his wisdom save against Halas] Caleb: “26.” Veth: “He’s acting weird, kill him!” Fjord: "Eldritch blast!"
[Marisha pondering whether they could trick Lucien with the gem of Halas] Taliesin: “I think putting Voldemort in Skeletor is not necessarily the best.”
Matt: “And [Yussa] leads you all past the blue velvet curtain which leads to the exterior of the room and the size of this tower is about the width of Tide Peak. And as you go through the curtain it leads into a stairwell. Like a spiral staircase that-- " Liam: “Are we going into the adult section?”
Jester: "Very important part of any spell casting is your ritual circle." Caleb: "I hand Jester a piece of chalk." Jester: "Thank you so much, Caleb." Caduceus: "Do you want some guidance, or?" Jester: "Us fellow magic practitioners." Matt: "As you begin drawing the circle in a very free-form jazz, improvisational way, it looks less like a beautiful runic circle and more like what, Jester?" Jester: "Dicks!" Matt: "Just a mandala of dicks. Like an odd chapel roof." Sam: "Man-dala."
Matt: "You feel the stress shoot through your shoulders and the back of your neck like you've been lifting for days and all the muscles have knotted up and have locked and that pressure begins to push into your sinuses and you feel like your nose is just about to burst forth with blood. You just have this terrible force, like you've just been stressing your face to the point where it turns beet red and you're about to just blow every vessel in your face." Sam [like Jester]: "You poopin'?" Jester: "You pooping?" Matt: "But you push through the poopin' and with that, you lose your tether, you're zapped back through and then back in the room." Jester: "I check the ground to make sure I didn't poop on myself." Matt: "Make an investigation check." Laura: "Natural 20!" Matt: "Nice! You're confident that though you may have tooted a little--" Travis: "Fucking ridiculous." Matt: "Nothing left behind. You're good."
[As the Mighty Nein tell Allura about how they struggled with and against the Tomb Takers] Taliesin: “If only there was a way to get more residuum.”
Travis [singsong]: “Sure could use a sword made of platinum.”
[On personal methods of dice rolling] Laura: "I want to see if his [Sam's] method-- ah, his method would have been so much better! I got a 12. With Sam's method, though, I got a 20." Sam: "The Sam method." Matt: "Well, you're not Sam, unfortunately, so the method doesn't work for you." Travis: "Doesn't work for him, either."
Veth [to Allura]: "Oh, yes, it's not much, I just thought I could ask you for some magical advice. You said yourself that folks like yourself, sorcerers, wizards have some trouble up there in Eiselcross. And I'm worried about my friend Caleb. He would never admit it, but he's extremely weak." Liam [aside]: "He would." Veth: "And he's powerful and we're going to need him up there. There was a bit of magic that I had heard of that I don't think that he can teach me, but it's an abjuration spell I thought you might be able to." [Later] Allura: "Here's a scroll of a spell that seems to pertain to the request that you've made." Veth: "Excellent. Thank you, I care for him very much. And want to keep him safe; I saw you do the same with Lady Kima downstairs." Allura: "Oh, it's more the other way around, really. Nevertheless, I'm sorry your friend is so weak."
