#epbaker

Anna yawned as she walked across campus. The art building was mere steps from her dorm, but she’d met a friend for lunch in the science building’s café, had ended up spending a bit too long chatting and subsequently was running late, too late at least to catch the bus across campus. It was not, however, so late that she couldn’t make it across campus on foot, and she was making a valiant effort at it.

The weather was pleasant, the sun was warm on her face and someone was sitting on a low wall outside campus center with a guitar, strumming “somewhere over the rainbow” while being kind enough not to sing it.

All was well in the world, until, that was, a rather strong gust of wind rolled off the Fjord, struck her portfolio and sent her sailing straight into the largest man she’d ever seen. Well, not the largest she’d ever seen really, but the largest she’d ever run directly into, which was saying something as, despite her best intentions, Anna had a bad habit of running directly into people fairly often. The apology she always had prepared slipped from her lips.

“I’m so sorry!” she said as she tried to steer herself and her oversized portfolio away from the man at her side. “I’m so clumsy, I didn’t mean to…”

She paused when she felt his hand wrap around her portfolio handle, two fingers were just on the other side of her four as he turned the whole thing long so as to not catch the wind again. When she looked up to thank him, her mouth went dry. He was not a particularly “pretty” man like many of the guys she had classes with, but he was handsome and looking mildly annoyed.

“I’s fine,” he responded gruffly, releasing the handle and continuing ahead of her, his long legs carrying him along a lot more expediently than her own could manage.

She knew her cheeks were flushed, and she stood, for a moment, to collect herself and watch him get lost in the crush of bodies heading towards the art building.

She made a sound of annoyance under her breath, deciding that she didn’t like people who didn’t take her clumsiness in stride. It wasn’t really her fault this time anyhow, and while he has said that it was fine, his face and his quick walk off hardly said the same.

“Probably a Grad Student,” she decided, mumbling under her breath, “they’re always crabby. Maybe a music major, they’re the worst.”

She sent a mental apology to the “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” guy but decided that as he wasn’t singing, he probably wasn’t a music major anyhow. Music majors always sang, whether they were any good or not. It didn’t matter to them, and their favorite captive audience tended to be anyone on campus who wasn’t in the library and who couldn’t run. Music theory master’s student, the truest breed of asshole in the building, was what she ultimately decided on before regripping her portfolio and heading up into the building.

She found her seat in the studio with a grateful sigh. She’d managed at least, not to bump into anyone else. She did secretly like the idea of bumping into Mr. Tall-Dark-In-A-Gloomy-Way-And-Handsome again. Despite his crabbiness, or what she’d perceived as crabbiness, he was nice to look at, and Anna nefariously thought that if nothing else it might be fun to mildly inconvenience him again.

She let the thought fade into the back of her mind with other daydreams like getting Chinese for dinner instead of dining hall food and talking Residence Life and Housing into letting her bring her cat Olaf to campus as her “therapy animal”. God knew she needed one with all the stress she’d been under between classes and trying to live up to her family’s expectations of her meanwhile.

“Good afternoon class,” he professor called as she started pulling her supplies out of her bag. “I think I told you last week we’d be starting life drawing from models this week, so I want you all to turn your attention to the center of the room where our model will be joining us in just a moment. His name is Kristoff and I expect you all to be professional and work at your most efficient speed. We don’t want him holding a pose too long, you wouldn’t think it, but it can get quite uncomfortable.”

Anna had been looking forward to this unit. She still wasn’t exactly certain of what she wanted to do with her art degree, but she was leaning towards being a medical illustrator, so finally getting to draw actual bodies instead of working from photographs was an exciting prospect.

She pulled her sketchbook out as well as the conte crayons that were already her worst enemy. It seemed like every time she went to use them she snapped them under her fingers. She was going to ask her professor after class if he would mind her switching to charcoal pencil for next class. She knew that it was her fault for pressing too hard, but her hands just always seemed to work better with a pencil or marker than with small waxy fragile things. Chalk and vine charcoal likewise hated her.

“Okay, you all set Kristoff?” her professor said, “Alright, whatever is most comfortable for you. Perfect! Okay, we’re just going to do some quick gestures first so we’re going to do five minutes…”

A groan came from the assembled students, and Anna almost chuckled, finishing getting herself together as her professor quieted the dissention with reminders that they’d been warned they wouldn’t have long and that they were going to do some longer poses towards the end of class. He was saying something about warm ups and how he was starting the clock now.

Anna pulled out one of the lighter crayons to start with and looked up to the model.

The crayon snapped and fell to the floor, crunched in her grip when she realized that the man standing before her was very familiar. Not only that but that he was very familiar and very naked.

Her heart raced, her eyes went wide, and she wished more than anything that she had taken another seat. Oh to be one of her classmates that wasn’t facing Mr. Tall-Dark-In-A-Gloomy-Way-And-Handsome’s face… and perhaps worse than that, his manhood.

The brief thought she’d had while climbing the stairs to the studio that he was rude because he was compensating for “something” was whisked from her thoughts as she was faced with that particular part of his figure. She knew her face was growing hot, and that he caught her eye made her feel like deflating completely into her chair. Recognition sparked in his eye, and then she saw the slightest shift in his own expression towards embarrassment.

She could hear minutes ticking down in the back of her head, forcing herself to keep looking at him, but not to think about anything other than taking what she saw and put it to paper. She scrambled to pick up the broken bits of crayon and press the nub she managed to collect into the paper. This, she decided, was going to be the longest class of her life.

***

When they had taken a break, Anna had excused herself from the room before she could catch their model, Kristoff’s eyes again. He was slipping a robe on when she made her escape. She felt his eyes on her as she left the room, and when she’d returned, he’d met her eyes as she reentered the room. She thought that maybe he’d wanted to say something to her, but she didn’t give him the opportunity to say it.

Now though, as class was ending and he was redressing, she didn’t have much of a say in whether or not he’d be able to say something to her. Her professor had seen her conte crayon incident and was discussing the importance of pressure and tool use to her. He was, also suggesting, much to Anna’s relief, that she start using a toned charcoal pencil set instead of the crayons in order to increase her productivity.

She had only a few sketches, and all of them were as much a mess as she felt. Her professor was kindly, telling her how the first figure drawing class with nude models was always stressful and that she’d do better next time, when she saw Kristoff, the model, staring at her, fully clothed.

She nodded to her professor appreciatively and told him that she’d look into the pencil set and that she appreciated his feedback and that she’d see him next week, when she saw him slipping from the room and into the hall. It was a small mercy, she supposed, that he, Kristoff, didn’t want to talk to her after all. She supposed that there was plenty he could say to her “you shouldn’t be so clumsy with your portfolio you could have hurt someone”, “your crayon falling on the floor ruined my focus”, “you probably would have gotten more work done if you weren’t constantly in a battle to look at and to not look at my dick”. She flushed at the thought as her professor released her and she was able to walk out with her things. She didn’t have another class for the day, so she fully planned to collapse on her crappy college dorm mattress and bemoan her inability to be a normal person.

He was in the hall when she walked out, looking sheepish, and totally un-asshole-ish, which made her wish that he was the jerk that she’d made him out to be before class. It would be easier to draw him next class if she just didn’t like him and was hate drawing him. She’d even take any points off her professor wanted to take if she drew him the with tiniest dick on the planet, a clear and evident incorrect detail.

“Hey… uh… Anna?”

She had thought about walking straight past him, making those muscled legs chase after her if he really wanted to talk, but the expression on his face was nervous and shy and she found herself unable to do any such thing. She realized that he must have heard her professor call her over, or maybe he’d asked a classmate for her name during the break. She certainly hadn’t given it to him.

“Yes?” she said, trying her best not to scowl or smile, both of which felt like logical expressions in reaction to him. Her brain was battling between how to treat “jerk who didn’t have the time to deal with her in the quad” and “attractive and shy guy standing in front of her in a tight fitting shirt that barely hid the strong muscled form she knew to be underneath” in a way that felt logical and satisfying.

He looked down at his shoes, pushing off from the wall he’d been half leaned against, waiting for her to walk out. It struck her as a sort of nervous motion, like he hadn’t really thought this far ahead and like he was much less smooth than he’d like to be. It was enough to make a smile ghost on her lips.

“I… I’m sorry about earlier… in the quad. I was late… I commute and my truck had problems and… you probably don’t care about that… I just, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for acting so annoyed with you. I’m just… not really good with people, even when I’m not upset. I shouldn’t have taken it out on you though. I should have said that it was okay.”

She couldn’t help but laugh. It was a small one, and she did her best to cover it.

“No, don’t… Look I’m really clumsy, I shouldn’t have expected for you to say it was fine. I’m sorry too.”

He was standing close, he towered her, but she wasn’t intimidated. She could tell now that she was seeing him as he was, as he usually was at least. He seemed a little shy, a little nervous, but kind, and it made her wish she hadn’t been so mean earlier, even if it was mostly just in her thoughts.

“Can you answer a question for me though?” she asked, unwilling to help herself.

“I.. yes. Sure.”

She smiled at him, trying to give him the warmth she probably should have given him from the start.

“What’s your major?”

He seemed surprised by the question, but quickly answered, “Pre-vet.”

Oh, she liked that. Not pretentious… at least not nearly as much as she thought music majors were. He looked a little bit older than her, so she wondered if he was a senior or just had gotten a late start to still be “pre-vet” instead of on the vet track. It didn’t really matter she decided. He already liked him.

“Can I ask you something too?” he said, seeming nervous again, even when she assented with a nod.

“Can I get you a coffee or something… you know… because I want to apologize. Not because I…”

He trailed off and she watched him brush a hand through his mussed blonde hair. A part of her had wanted to comb her hand through it while he’d been standing there, naked in the classroom when she’d been trying to decide whether she didn’t like him or whether she found him insanely attractive.

“Not because you…?”

She saw the flush on his cheeks and she felt like she was missing something that she should have caught.

He seemed confused for a moment, and then he flushed harder, avoiding her eye as she looked up at him.

“Oh… I didn’t think… I figured you’d noticed and that was why you’d left during the break?”

She shook her head, trying to think what he thought her motivations could have been other than her annoyance about their interaction outside.

“I… well… I was staring and… you’re very beautiful… and…”

She snorted, “I spent a whole class drawing you naked, why would I be annoyed that you were looking at me when I was trying not to stare at your… Oh.”

She put two and two together in that moment. She had done a lot of staring and trying not to stare at a certain part of his anatomy, and she supposed that she might have just not noticed a certain… change in him while she was drawing.

She thought that she might combust. He was standing a bit uncomfortably, she supposed it made sense, she’d just not connected the signs until he said something.

“Coffee… coffee would be nice,” she said, face hot and voice squeaking out of her throat. “But I think I should buy… sorry about that.”

He gave a little half shrug, red as a tomato himself. “It’s not something you should be sorry about I should have…”

She giggled then, unable to help herself, “No, no. I’m flattered, really! And I mean… I guess if I knew that all it took to get someone this nice and this attractive interested was to smack them with my portfolio…”

He laughed then, a warm sound that made her feel like she was melting on the spot.

“I guess I’m lucky you didn’t. Because now we get to have coffee, and maybe talk a little?”

           “I just always assumed you were born here,” Anna said, staring at her housemate in confusion.

           He kind of shrugged, “My parents came over from Norway on work visas when I was a newborn. When they died I was a special case so I my Ma adopted me, but I’m still not a legal citizen.”

           “Are you worried they’ll send you back?” She asked, still in shock that there was something that she didn’t know about her best friend since senior year of high school.

           “I don’t think there’s anyone who isn’t afraid right now,” he answered truthfully before shutting off the television, the news turning into a dark void within which the light from the apartment window reflected.

           She caught his hand as he left the couch, and he pulled her up. Her whole stomach was full of butterflies when his hand lingered a bit longer than strictly necessary. It was the small little acts like holding on too long, fixing each other’s hair, and falling asleep on the couch together that were getting them into trouble.

           They’d known each other for four years, and none of it had ever mattered before. It all changed recently after she had broken up with her ass-hat-ex-boyfriend, Hans. At first Kristoff’s comfort, his demands to go punch the bastard in the face, had been just another facet of their friendship. She was noticing more and more lately, that there might be more behind his protectiveness. Despite everything she knew about falling in love with your best friend, she’d watched more teen drama and rom-com movies than she liked to admit, she hoped that she wasn’t reading into things too much. She especially hoped so after the kiss she had pressed to his cheek just the night before.

           “I won’t let them take you,” said announced suddenly, her voice sounding too forceful for her small frame.

           He looked as though he were taken aback for a moment, but then he smiled, looking at his feisty red haired friend. She knew that he knew she meant it.

           “How would you keep the government from kicking me out?” he asked, his voice teasing considering the situation, “Kick a soldier in the shins?”

           She shook her head. She had a million ways in her head, most of which involved her mean right hook, but the one she least wanted to saw aloud was the one that slipped out, “I’d have you marry me for the green card.”

           “You’d what?” he said, confused and almost certain he didn’t hear her right.

           She blushed, no backing out, she reached a hand up to his chest and let it press over his heart, “I’d marry you so you could stay.”

           He didn’t have words to say, and she could see him searching for them. So instead of waiting, she stood up on her toes and kissed his cheek softly. Truthfully she had loved him the first time she heard him talk about winter. It had been the week before Christmas Break the year they met. He was a man of few words, so she didn’t expect the teacher to call on him to read his poem in class. The other boys in class had whistled while he blushed and read it in his quiet, deep voice.

           She didn’t remember it all, but she did remember the end where he had written The wind dies and the stillness makes sense to me. At the time she had just been intrigued by the poetic quality of his language, but as she got to know him better she had found that he was the stillness that made sense to her. He was her rock in the throes of the world’s endless entropy. She had fallen deeper and deeper for him, measure by measure, with each smile, each touch. Now it was coming to a head, and she wanted to return the favor and be his steadiness for once.

           When her lips left his cheek, he wasted no time in pressing his lips to hers. It was sudden, like it was something he had been dying to do, and she understood in that moment that he had been. He had struggled just as much with keeping their relationship platonic as she had, and the way his arms wrapped around hers, the way his hand moved up to touch her cheek, made the wait worth it.

           When his lips left hers, it was too soon. She was left wanting more, and looking up into his eyes, she knew he was as well.

           He cleared his throat, cheeks ruddy as he spoke, “I don’t think that’s necessary,” he paused and his blush reddened, “not yet anyway, not unless things get worse.”

           He looked away from her for a moment and she held him close, giving him a few minutes this time to come up with the words he wanted.  

           “But if you wanted, maybe we could, you know, do that a little more often.”

           Anna laughed and smiled at her friend, “Kristoff Bjorgman, are you asking me out?”

           He laughed in return, “Yeah. Though you just asked to get married, so I figured it wasn’t a big deal.”

           Anna shook her head, “There is that, yes.”

           She tipped up to kiss him again, this time not as rushed, soft, and representative of all the time they had for each other, even if she had to marry him to make it.

Kristoffrubbed his eyes to confirm that he wasn’t dreaming. On his doorstep at 1:00am,standing sopping wet in the rain, was the morning barista from his favoritecoffee shop. The red head was covered from the waist down on one side with mudand was shaking with the cold. In her arms, barking manically was the smallest,angriest Pomeranian he’d seen in his entire life. He could already hear his,much larger mutt Sven scrambling off the couch to see what all the fuss wasabout.

  Oh God, ofcourse it would be your house, as if tonight hasn’t been embarrassing enough.”

He washardly sure that he had heard her correctly, over the growling and barking ofthe puffball in her arms that was currently baring its teeth and snapping atthe air. He wasn’t even sure what to make of it either way, given how he’d justwoken up to the sound of her knocking on the door.

“I’m sosorry, it’s a long story, but the short version is I need to use your phone ifthat’s okay. I’m so sorry.”

Kristoff, for all his befuddlementas to why the woman was on his doorstep of all places, couldn’t keep hershivering out in the cold, so unable to find words, he simply stepped aside andlet her in.

It only got stranger from there. Forthe size of the dog, it was immensely loud, and the sounds of its high pitch barksreverberated off his walls once the door was closed. Sven, who Kristoff hadthought may get overprotective of him, simply left the room as if annoyed bythe sound, and the girl burst into tears.

“I’m sorry! I’m so, so sorry! I don’teven know why I asked to use your phone, I just realized there’s no one for meto call anyway. I should just go.”

Kristoff combed a hand through hishair as he looked at the disaster before him. “No, no, it’s okay! Don’t cry Anna…it’s Anna, right? I buy coffee from you every morning.”

She sniffled, “Yes, I’m sorry. I’msuch a wreck right now. I should try to head back home, it’s just… well I didn’tknow what else to do.”

“What happened?” he asked, tryingto assess the situation from looks was proving to be quite difficult.

She was flush, and he couldn’t tellif it was from her predicament or the cold, but either way he wouldn’t hold itagainst her. It seemed like she’d been through a lot.

“Like I said, it’s a long story. Mysister had to go out of town, and I volunteered to take care of her dog. And hewoke me up a half hour ago and I went to take him for a walk and we got caughtin the rain and I fell and my glasses are broken and I couldn’t find our wayback so I looked for my phone and it must have fallen out of my pocket when I fell.So I panicked, and I saw your light on and I thought maybe you were awake andyour house didn’t look scary, so I knocked, and I’m so sorry I woke you up.”

He shook his head, “Don’t be. Look,I don’t normally take people places or anything and my car is kind of a mess,but how about I bring you home? Just let me… oh.”

The realization dawned in thatmoment, the way her gaze was fixed solely on his face, and the blush on hercheeks should have been clues, but he’d been so exhausted that the clues hadn’tadded up. He wasn’t wearing a shirt, or more importantly any pants.

“Just let me… put actual clotheson. I’m sorry. Actually… just wait here a minute, okay? I’ll be right back.”

He was certain his cheeks were asred as her hair when he turned away. He’d been meaning to ask her out for weeks,and she was at his house looking for his help, and he’d blown it all by fallingasleep in his boxers while watching TV in his living room.

He slipped into his bedroom quicklyand threw on jeans and a t-shirt, snatching up another shirt and a pair ofsweatpants before heading back into his living room where Anna stood, stillshaking and teary just beyond his front door.

“Sorry about that,” he said, Svenat his heels now that her dog seemed to have quieted. “I, uh, I wasn’t expectinganyone, and I fell asleep watching TV… anyway, if you want you can change outof those clothes. If you’re not comfortable that’s fine too. I don’t mind youbeing in the car with mud and stuff.” It was a lie. He was a little protectiveof his car, having just paid it off, but somehow having her get mud on his seatsseemed okay when compared to anyone else doing it.

“I would like that, if it’s okay withyou.”

And then everything changed. Shelowered the dog to the floor and it trotted over to sniff Sven. Suddenly muchless of a terror, the creature was calm, perhaps realizing it was outgunned bythe much larger dog before it. She stopped sniffling, and took the clothesoffered to her, and Kristoff found himself in the nearby kitchen, taping herglasses back together while she cleaned herself off and changed in hisbathroom.

He practically sighed with reliefwhen he remembered that he’d just cleaned his house. He was sure that some cruelautumn God was playing tricks on him, causing the series of events that endedwith her at his door, but he was at least somewhat ready. His house was clean,there was tape in the drawer, and perhaps most importantly, there was hot chocolatepackets in his cupboard. He knew that’s what she drank during her shifts.

He wondered if she knew that he’dnoticed.

From there everything spiraled outof control. She was wearing his clothes and they hung off her in all the right ways,and she was beautiful, combing her damp hair through her fingers. And then shewas on his couch because he’d insisted she take a moment to rest, and she wasthanking him shyly and her smile was warmer than that hot chocolate he’d madeher when he handed her the taped-up glasses. And then she’d realized that whatwas playing on the television he’d left on was her favorite crime drama, sothey started watching it, and before he knew it she was leaning against him.And when the show was over she was asleep, and he couldn’t bring himself to wakeher, so he slid out from beside her, laid her down and covered her with a blanketbefore switching off the tv and the lights and heading to his bedroom for thenight.

He knew he’d have to bring her homein the morning, but he hoped that maybe she’d let him make her breakfast first.