#envyrp

kinda a dumb b*tch. like the jock type who made nerds do her homework and now she’s seriously regretting it in this job market. most known for stupid mistakes made she made in high school. like, but not limited to, flashing some wanna be film student her tit*s thinking it’d make her famous. think manny santos from degrassi. it resulted in her dropping out (she likes to pretend it was because she was soooo over school at that point but it was mostly humiliation). the result was her connecting with douchey art house directors and spending the last four years failing as an ‘actress’. she was hopelessly optimistic. actress is a real loose term here. like really loosely. she f*cked her way to the top but never actually got to the top. now going through a nice little mid life crisis after realizing she’s done nothing but emmas a couple million instagram followers. trying to get her CAP and baccalaureate qualifications (google says its the french equivalent of a high school diploma). doesn’t know what she wants to do in life. still holding onto that actress dream. and her insecure ass has visited the plastic surgeon like twice this month to see if they can make her look a little more like bardot, her hero. also probably has a gofundme for plastic surgery. 

valentina michel, 30 ans, actrice 

celeste eloise moon. twenty - four. retired goth girl.

product of a casanova and an unprepared parisian brat / actually an excellent chef, despite what people may say / has twenty-three different types of dark lipstick / hates people but also needs people around to declare how much she hates people / doesn’t yell, but her low whisper is much scarier / probably thinks she’s too cool for you / raging vegan / kind of a klutz, but pls don’t point it out to her / looks like she could kill you, could probably kill you / silent but deadly 

needs.

vincent de angelis / 21 / bartender

has only child syndrome and thinks the world revolves around him and he deserves everything   ∞   eats avocados like nobody’s business and you better not tease him about it  ∞  what are feelings? something he’s mega afraid of and it’ll be hard to crack thru his shell and get anything other that superficial things outta him  ∞  he really likes sex so pls indulge him :angelemoji:  ∞  probably stares at himself for a good 15 seconds in every mirror he passes  ∞  was raised by a single mother whom he had a Shaky relationship with so i guess you could say he had mommy issues?  ∞  sensationalizes a lot of his stories when it’s really like… he picked up a grape at the grocery store and it was unusually huge just because he wants to impress people (esp girls)  ∞  the song that best describes him is “womanizer” by britney spears  ∞  though he flirts a lot he genuinely cares about the women he flirts with at the bar and won’t pursue if they aren’t into it too and will walk them out to make sure they’re safe from other men / creeps   ∞  really actually wants a meaningful relationship but he doesn’t know how to get it when he’s the Way he is and is scared of feelings so he just fucks around  ∞  last thing fun fact: he actually reads books and when he actually Dates someone he likes reading their fave book to get to know them a lil bit  ∞  is it possibly he’s slightly romantic? who knows

Villain, I have done thy mother.

I’m gonna KISS this want ad. Here’s the down low!

I’m looking to make a tight knit of the worst greatest people you will ever meet in the red light district.

We’re talking pickpockets, gangsters, sex workers, artists, customers, hell let’s throw some cops in there, good and bad! It’s always fun when you’ve got a few informants lying around

Not only that but I think it could add a little fun to the catacombs mystery because where else are you gonna start this investigation if not the usual suspects