[ Out of Starfleet Net Connection ] Kirk, James T. Ā» Spock (Ambassador) -- I should have said something along time ago, but I feel something for you. I've never felt love like this before, so I can't imagine it could be love.
[ Out of Starfleet Net Connection ] Kirk, James T. Ā» Spock (Ambassador) -- It would really be better if you told me I was crazy. I can't explain how I feel. I want to spend more time with you and I know how that sounds.
He doesnāt know how to respond, because he doesnāt know how he feels about Jim himself. He doesnāt love this Jim, of course, not in that way -- he is only a phantom of the man he knew in another life. He had told himself this every day.
But he canāt help reading the messages over and over again, and they cause the veneer of certainty to slip -- perhaps it was never certainty, but simply a thin desire to convince himself. Does a phantom not carry the essence of the life once lived? Is a shadow independent from the object that casts it? At what point does memory end and a new life begin? Was this Jim really that different from the one he loved? He had seen into his soul, in that cave. There was a brightness there he had recognized, deep within, that transcended the superficiality of new appearances or different experiences... He had reached for it, drawn by its warm familiarity after having been alone for so long... But he had released it, knowing it was not truly his to grasp.
He scolds himself silently. He was being selfish, living in a dream. This was not his narrative. He could do real damage to this Jim if he did not tread carefully. He knew Jimās wounds.
But he also knew his own, and they were what made his heart soften whenever he spoke to this Jim.
[ Out of Starfleet Net Connection ] I feel a deep affection and admiration for you, Jim. And you know that you are welcome to contact or visit me at any time.
[Out of Starfleet Net Connection] Love can be many things and take many forms. I am very honored to call you my friend.
(several minutes pass)
[Out of Starfleet Net Connection] What exactly did you see in that meld in the cave?
@youngestcaptain












