Really hope you educate yourself better about Endo systems and grow up a little. Doesn't hurt anyone and it hurts people more to insist the strict and often ableist outlines set out by the dsm are the word of God.
Ive been genuinely considering a proper response to this ask—and i still feel unsure about posting this now. Normally? id delete and move on bc i find it a ridiculous waste of time to spend my life answering and hmming over every snippy or mean ask i get. But, I do feel the need to explain my stance a little, I do and very very greatly acknowledge the flaws in the DSM-V, trust me i am very very aware as a huge huge psych nerd and as someone with mental illness’ myself, if that thing was perfect things would be a lot different, hell I even don’t fully agree with the DSM’s diagnostic criteria for Dissociative disorders, especially with the acknowledgement of P-DID. The day I worship the DSM-V or a majority of leading figures in the field will probably be a cold day in hell.
I however, personally and firmly believe that everyone should and must — to an extent, curate a space that they feel comfortable within and with those around them, lest we all go insane. Simply put, endos do not fit this space for me. While I can understand that this may not be an always intended effect, I find it genuinely frustrating and upsetting when endos push into spaces simply not curated or meant for them, and a result more often then not systems who have experienced trauma feel extremely trivialized and uncomfortable — because as far as I’ve seen and as I understand to be Endogenic is to be without the trauma needed to be a system, of course it’d be a shame and wrong to lump one group together because of a handful of people but like I said, I’m simply just not comfortable with the group as whole. I have several other friends who have been harassed and threatened for simply trying to make a space for themselves and for others to feel comfortable in, with others who relate to them. I do not move to invalidate or criticize trauma people have gone through and what that means for them, I can only ask that endos do the same and make spaces for themselves and further take care of themselves within it, but sending hateful messages to those who don’t agree with you—because I have received several nasty things the last few months—is not fair to anyone and does nothing to help persuade or move your point across, its just rude.
To me, and several others I have spoken with—it is nothing short of harmful to see people treat a very real and awful disorder like it’s a fun game (re. system “hopping”, “build a headmate”-blogs, and so forth.) I do not find it fun or enjoyable trying to connect with others who understand how it feels to lose hours and days to amnesia that you are entirely helpless to, who understand the PTSD like symptoms, the brain fog, so on, just to have someone join in and talk about how they traded hosts with another system or whatever. Does this mean other DID/OSDD/P-DID systems can’t have good days or relationships within their system? of course not. I just don’t think it’s entirely fair to ask systems to feel 100% comfortable and okay sharing a space like that with endos. And in my opinion, it IS kind of harmful when singlets—especially those in leading pysch fields and those offering diagnostic treatment/etc see endos and traumagenic systems and decide that all of us are fake as hell and actual treatment and care becomes out of reach for the majority of us who don’t fit what’s consider the norm or exact diagnostic material (think of how afab autistic folk are diagnosed either significantly later in life or not at all for simply not fitting criteria the same that amab autistic people do), can you reasonably attribute this a problem with the field as a whole and less endos? yeah I can get behind that, but my point still stands.
I stand for all my disabled and mentally ill friends, I don’t want that to come into question not once, especially those who don’t “fit” the norm of how we should be, gods knows i dont fit that norm by a mile. I can be however, uncomfortable around people making light of a disorder that shouldnt be made light of. It’s important to me to then, reiterate again, that it’s not impossible for a system to experience joy or happiness within their system, but you have to acknowledge both sides. and making it out to always be happy silly fun times is wrong, and harmful.
But, at the end of the day, I may not like it or whatever but I cant stop you, of course. All I can ask is that you respectfully don’t interact with me, and to further my point I am a system, and I do understand the struggle. Seeing people put down others for not being able to afford/access proper care and self dxing is frustrating and constantly scrutinizing myself and how i experience things is tiring and beyond exhausting. yet, I still feel I am allowed to ask for this. I do acknowledge the ever-changing state of the field of psych and that new information and new things get added or changed nothing is stagnate and thats honestly a good thing! and I am more than happy to discuss with folk about things, especially if its an offer with a different perspective. I strive to hold myself to a standard that includes growing and changing with my opinions and beliefs, so you are more than welcome to bring a calm healthy discussion to my dms on my main but this blog isn’t the place for it, and for the time being my DNI will not change either. I apologize if that is disheartening but I will simply ask you to block me by that point.
