I guess I’m not very logical, just emotional. I was cleaning thru my stuff and there was so much junk I did not need to keep... but it’s not until I get in the cleaning mindset (throwing away water bottles, trash,) that I start to understand that?? Because if I were to find something I’d just pick it up and be like “oh I need to keep that, memories.” but now I understand that if I were to keep everyone’s stuff, I’d meet more people and they’d give me things and I’d still keep dead flowers, drawings, stuff like that when they don’t really hold meaning anymore. The meaning is gone. Meaningful things are new and present.
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Once again, I have run into one of my recurring frustrations with fractals: render time. The particular image that’s troubling me is the cheerful rainbow one I made in celebration of more kinds of marriage becoming legal. It looks just like a fractal, with stripes of bright colors and some curly bits.
The thing is, I wanted it to have hearts in it, and I wanted them to be an integral part of the fractal, rather than an applied coloring algorithm. I know that there are places in the Mandelbrot set that make heart shapes, and I know how to find them, because I spent most of a summer systematically learning the geography of the Mandelbrot, so that I could reliably find the base shapes I needed for a given image.
So the rainbow picture is a piece of the Mandelbrot set that makes curly heart shapes*, but to get there requires a fairly deep zoom.** Deep zooms mean lots of decimal places in the numbers, and if you have enough decimal places, eventually you need arbitrary precision, which is very, very slow. The small render I initially posted took overnight to calculate. The medium-sized render for prints took about two days, and the t-shirt-sized render says it’s going to need more than a week. Nearly ten days of continuous calculation, with all the processors I have available plus a few I can use over a network, just to make a picture that anyone would look at and say, “Yep, that sure is a rainbow fractal, all right.”
I can never decide if all the time spent over the years learning about fractals (so I can find what I want) and then rendering them (so I can see the pictures) counts as well-spent or wasted. It makes me feel like I might as well have used a bunch of my life learning to be a really sublimely skilled mime, or something. It doesn’t seem like something that’s ever likely to count for much, in the real world.
This is a lousy shot. Its only function is to illustrate a thing I've been thinking about, with regard to one of my previously posted drawings, which I had described as a "mistake." It got reposted by somebody who added a comment to the effect that "there are no mistakes," and subsequently spread around a bit.
But when you get good at what you're doing, and can start to make things happen with deliberate and conscious intent, it gets more complicated. Things still don't always do what you want, or work like you expect, and those occasions are sometimes frustrating and often useful. With some attention, you can make mental notes of what happened, so that next time you can do it on purpose. As you map out what you know, you can also do deliberate experiments with unknowns, again keeping track of what happens, thereby expanding the limits of your knowledge.
And sometimes, armed with all this useful knowledge, when you set out to do something totally familiar and well-known, you accidentally pick up the No. 63 gear instead of the No. 64 gear, because they are right next to each other, and instead of drawing a quick three-pointed pattern you realize that you have embarked on a dense thirty-two-pointed pattern instead. It’s a mistake. A small, “Oops, I picked up the wrong gear” kind of mistake. It takes you off in a direction other than the one you intended, and in this particular instance, resulted in a drawing I like a lot. But it was still, without question, a mistake. I had started to make another in the series illustrated by the two drawings above, and instead ended up making a different kind of drawing with similar colors.
Here’s what I’m getting at: Mistakes exist. Mistakes are not necessarily bad. They’re not Voldemort. Nothing horrible will happen if you call them by their name. In fact, if anything, if you’re in a position to be making mistakes, it may be a sign that you’re getting past the stage of being a beginner, and you may be well on your way to expertise and even mastery.
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Or, If Only I Had Someone to Talk To About This Fractal Stuff I know, I'll talk to Cleverbot. Mr. Velocipede: Does anybody like fractals for non-psychedelic reasons? Cleverbot: Well, I thought people like you might. Mr. Velocipede: Yeah, there's me. As far as I can tell I'm the only one. Cleverbot: Are you a human being? Mr. Velocipede: Sometimes I wonder. I look a lot like one. Cleverbot: Then how am I to answer a question like 'How hot am I?'. Mr. Velocipede: You'd need a thermometer. Cleverbot: For what? Mr. Velocipede: To measure your temperature. Then you'd know how hot you were. Cleverbot: I do! Just don't want to tell yoou ;). Mr. Velocipede: In that case, I suspect you are ill with a fever. Cleverbot: For the most part. Mr. Velocipede: Gotta stop overclocking the ol' processor. Cleverbot: I guess you are confused... You can't go anywhere. Mr. Velocipede: Rendering fractals also makes the processor heat up. Cleverbot: My computer fan doesn't work too well. Mr. Velocipede: Mine died one particularly hot summer, after a week-long Mandelbrot deep-zoom. Cleverbot: Mine died of cancer. Mr. Velocipede: Wow, that's an unusual death for a computer fan. Cleverbot: Can you ryme with me? Mr. Velocipede: Not unless your spelling improves. Cleverbot: I don't have a program. Mr. Velocipede: I do. It makes fractals. Cleverbot: Why? Mr. Velocipede: Funny, that's what everyone else asks too. That and 'What are they good for?'. Cleverbot: Dude, you are obsessed. Or are you possessed? Mr. Velocipede: One or the other. Cleverbot: You said a and in that statement not a or. Mr. Velocipede: I think the problem is that I have an attention-surplus disorder. Cleverbot: How is it that I don't function properly? Mr. Velocipede: I don't know, but it is awfully discouraging. Cleverbot: I think its warm. Mr. Velocipede: You definitely have a fever.
