#enneagramfive

Song Lyrics Series - 009 Sleeping At Last - Five

I gave up alcohol for a hot minute. I wasn't overly drinking, but I was constantly sluggish and uninspired. I was reaching for ideas and desires that required me to rise into a new version of myself that I wasn’t able to access or embody. • Every time a craving for a familiar pattern comes up, I look at it, hold it. 3 seconds, 10 seconds, 30 seconds. What is it about. Is there something I want to mute, ignore, hide from? THERE. I have a tired mind, so I sleep. THERE, I am anxious so I write. THERE. I am insecure, so I focus on my breath until I am centered. And then it dissipates - turning a solid road block into vapor. • The space from which I consume anything gives rise to how it will affect my body, mind and soul. The perspective from which I see is based on the emotional frequency I carry at any given moment. If I’m on a high playing field, I am less affected by lower-moving energies in or around me and I have more clarity to decide if I want more or less of something. If I am entering an altered state at an already resistant level, my experience is much more likely to carry my conditioned state further down because the blur feels like relief. And it is, until it isn’t. • It’s how any addictive pattern happens in us—repeated frequencies building momentum. As our cells adjust to our new “normal”, what once registered as negative or depressing starts to feel like familiar comfort. Our default state becomes detachment from ourselves, and attachment to the things that are keeping us “comfortable”. Feeling better is often a harder choice because involves a level of awareness we can’t find from where we are. • I thoroughly enjoy a glass of wine, especially in the company of close friends. But I’m really grateful for however long this moment lasts too. I was living into a habit I was less aware of than I care to admit, and the release of that is empowering. My head and my heart feel connected—a legitimate struggle for an #enneagramfive. • We all tend to have a thing. A tool we use to numb out or escape. Next time it comes up, look at it long enough to see it. Then choose if you want it or not...and don’t be afraid of the answer. #dearabbylane https://www.instagram.com/p/B0yZiIEB0u-/?igshid=1qfe58nmztv21