A question that still haunts me from kindergarten till now

Scared of wasting that one chance in life

Yet excited to turn our hobbies to our profession

Dancer

Doctor

A dreamer

Musician

Magician

A mother

The innocent joy of dancing around in your room

Always kicking the balloon, so it won’t touch the floor.

But now the balloon is gone

All your dreams are stattered caused by

Money

Society

Grades

It’s like a prison of numbers and expectations

Other thoughts hunt us now when we think about our future

They won’t give me the job

Because I’m female

Because of my last name

Because of my skin colour

Don’t do arts, they are a waste of time

Don’t do sports, you can’t do it forever

Suddenly an invisible number between 0 and 15 decides all of this

But days will pass

Mistakes will be made

Tears of joy and pain will cross your aged face

And your time is up, Stuck in a working system

Then we should ask ourselves ‘Am I even the person i wanted to become?’

When I was 9…

..I looked like a boy,

maybe because I kinda dressed “like a boy”

but I didn‘t really care how I looked.

..I didnt eat meat,

because animals were my friends

and you shouldn‘t eat your friends.

..I was so clever,

I didnt care about my grades I just did what I did

and loved being taught

And now I‘m 17 nearly an adult,

wishing to be just like me when I was 9.

That “idc” feeling flows away while growing up,

but maybe I can be 9 in my head again.

Because you are better when you are 9.

You are you.

Nothing more, nothing else, just you.