#engagedsteverogersxweddingplannerreader

Steve rested against the chilled brick wall, in the hallway of y/n’s loft. The sound of his heart pounding in his ears as he tried to focus. He couldn’t think straight. Every thought that seemed to pass through his mind was... irrational. He had no idea what had come over him. When he was close to y/n, her eyes wide as she looked up at him, it made his head go fuzzy. In that moment, he wanted to pull her into his arms- just to feel the warmth of her body against his. the feel of her curves in his hands. The taste of her soft lips on his. How could he be so drawn to someone he’s known for so little?  He never felt this way about Larissa- and Steve knew he cared for her, but his feelings for Larissa were nothing in comparison to Y/N. Every time she looked at him, his heart felt as though it skipped a beat. The flutters in his stomach only ceasing when he was far from her sight. He’d get the attraction from the moment he laid eyes on her- although Steve wouldn’t consider himself a hopeless romantic, he did believe in knowing love when you see it, what he thought to have had with Larissa until the day he met Y/N. 

Steve rustled his hands through his grown out golden locks, down to his shaggy unkept beard. Why could he get her out of his head! Steve reaches into his pocket, pulling his phone out, Steve’s thumb hovered over the contact labeled Buck. Bucky was a ladies man, far more experience with women than Steve could ever dream of,But so was Sam. Although, Sam might encouraged him to do the wrong thing-he wasn’t a fan of Larissa, and he reminded Steve of that every chance he got. Steve, after a brief consideration hit the call button, the phone failing out Bucky. “Why are you calling at such an ungodly hour?” Bucky groaned dramatically, as he answered the phone. “Buck, what are you talking about? You’re a night owl. I’m sort of in a predicament. I did something stupid.” “Where are you? What’s going on?” Bucky’s voice was attentive and laced with worry. “I’m at y/n’s loft.” “Wait what? Why?” Bucky must have been lying in bed, the sound of him shuffling from beneath the sheets echoed into the phone.

“I don’t know. I knew I offended her earlier today, in her office. The way she looked at me, that look in her eyes-“  Steve shook his head, his heart feeling heavy as he thought back to that afternoon on the sofa of her office. The way she looked at him, her vulnerable eyes full of hurt, it reminded him of how he often felt before he became captain America, and he felt completely and utterly disgusted that he could have ever made anyone feel such a way. “I could see the pain she felt when she looked at me. It was awful. I could just leave things like that, my conscience couldn’t take that kind of guilt.” “Okay... so what is going on then?” “Well, when I got here, she was making dinner- and by god buck, it was amazing. I haven’t had a home cooked meal like that in over 50 years. She’s amazing…” The words slipped from Steve’s mouth- like water rushing from a burst dam- before he had a chance to stop them. “So you have feelings for her then?” Bucky’s tone was rigged as he sighed into the phone. Steve glowered, to to reluctant to speak. He was a committed man, one engaged to be married in just a few months. Steve felt a raging battle of internal conflict of his morals. He wasn’t a man that would stray- he had classic morals, he was a one kind of woman man… making him ponder if he was in fact with the right woman. They sat in silence for a minute, the air thick with tension of unsaid opinions- even though they  weren’t even in the same room, neither of them knowing what to say, or how to say it. “Clearly you like her Steve…” Bucky sighed a deep sigh into the phone once again, as he continued to speak, his tone anything but amused. “You should just finish apologizing and get the hell out of the there. The quicker the better. And I’m only encouraging you to apologize, because I don’t want you to hate yourself later.”  Steve ran his fingers through his scruffy beard, with an over exaggerated exhale of air, he heaved himself from the wall, Shaking out his nerves.

Be calm, be cool. You’re just going to apologize and go home. This isn’t rocket science. You’ve got this.

Steve gave himself a pep talk, feeling like a complete imbecile for feeling so anxious. It wasn’t like this was the first time he had ever spoken to y/n. He’d spent weeks alone with her, just talking. This was just like those times. Steve took one last deep breath, exhaling as he knocked on y/n’s door once again.

Reader POV You sat at the table in awe, racking your brain to try and come up with some sort of explanation to explain what had just happened. You were still trying to process the fact the Steve Rogers was in your home, sitting at your dinner table, sharing a home cooked meal with you, and now you were just adding onto the confusion… why did he run out like that? Was it something you had said? Because you honestly didn’t recall saying much. And what the hell was he apologizing for? For the whole touching ordeal? Oh god, was that why he was here… shit. You hoped he would have forgotten about that. You felt your body growing in warmth, as bubbles tickled at your tummy. As much as you wanted it to be because of the wine, you knew it was your nerves-although, you were sure the wine wasn’t helping one bit, only adding to your flustered state. But a part of you felt sort of.. flattered, that he came all this way for you- 

OH FUCKING HELL! Enough Y/N! He is engaged!!! And he is your client, You’re the freaking wedding planner. 

The irony of the situation seemed overly chaotic. But you couldn’t help who you have feelings for right? That’s out of your control, right? You couldn’t help that the past couple of weeks with Steve had felt so right. The two of you just melded well. His friends Throwing your hands up in defeat, you dramatically shook your balled fists in the air. You stood from your seat at the table, empty wine glass-just a drop of wine left that swooshed around the open glass as you walked. You set the glass onto the hard solid surface of your countertop, exhaling heavily as you poured another glass. You leaned your lower back against the counter, breathing in the crips but earthy scent tickling at your nose, as you took an exaggerated sip. You just wanted life to be normal again. You liked when it was just you and work. No feelings. Things were far less complicated that way. A soft knock at the door pulled you from the endless ramblings of your mind. Who could that be? Maybe your neighbor was in a drunken state and unable to  unlock the door, yet again. But wishful thinking kicked in, sending your mind on the most ridiculous of thoughts, that it would be Steve, coming to whisk you off your feet like a corny Hallmark romance, that you loved so much. Ha. You scuffed to yourself as you shambled over to the door-the sound of the pad of your slippers scrapping over the wood floor- pushing the unrealistic fantasy to the deep dark depths of your brain. You didn’t even bother peering through the peep hole, as you swung the door open without hesitation. “Dammit Jackie, I thought we-“ you cut yourself off mid sentence, seeing that it wasn’t Jackie behind the door, no, it was tall, dark and handsome blue eyed dream, Steve. You took in a sharp breath, your body rippling in a sudden heat. Steve was still here? You were sure he had run off to god knows where. You couldn’t help but stare at him, noticing a dangerous glint in his eye, a look you’d never seen before. “Steve? What are you-“ before you could finish , his hands clasped at your cheeks pulling you into him, as his mouth came crashing down against yours. You were completely shocked, to say the least. the flesh of his lips felt  silky smooth against, as he lips moved in time with yours. His kisses were ravenous yet delicate. As he kissed you, it felt as though all your worries had been vanquished. His strong hands fell from your cheeks- leaving a trail of cold in their wake-opting for your waist as he wrapped his arms around you, pulling you deeper into the kiss. Your arms almost instinctively found their way around his shoulders, pulling yourself closer into him. The feel of  his flexed shoulders shoulders, sending glorious shivers through your body. -You hadn’t been kissed like this in years...well ever.- Your hand trailed deviously up he length of Steve’s neck, finding the beginning of his hairline. His luxuriant locks, were soft to the touch and unbelievably silky. Your fingers found themselves intertwined in it. It was so silky, far more than you thought possible. Perfect, just like him.

When Steve’s lips broke from yours, the rush of air stung at the raw flush of your lips and chin. Steve’s wild beard had down a number on you.

The two of you stood in the hallway of your lofted apartment, panting loudly, like dogs in the hot los Vegas heat, your heart echoing loudly in your ear like the pounding of a drum.

Your eyes met his, ambivalently. You couldn’t conjure a single word, as you stared into those pools of blue.

You wanted scream or laugh, or smile. Something! But no, of course not. You just stood there like a lost puppy without its mom.

“Y/N…”

The sound of your voice on Steve’s lips was like a symphony, in the deep and husky tone, making your head go all fuzzy.

“Steve…”

Nothing more but an exchange of glances transpired, as Steve’s figure struck into the distance.

You bit at your lower lip, a giddy girlish smile stretching across your face as you closed the door behind you.

“Steve Rogers just kissed me. The words felt so right as the fell from your lips..

Your heart felt full of such emended joy, but the looming thoughts of guilt were not far behind…

You needed some wine. Scratch that, a lot of wine.

You grabbed your glass from the counter, smashing back what was left and grabbing the bottle as you marched your way to the sofa, a lifetime movie still playing. You settled into the sofa, draping a throw blanket over your feet.

You traced over your swollen lips with your finger, the lingering taste of his mouth still fresh. There was no way you were getting Steve out of your head tonight.

Well fuck.

This is why you made your work your life. It kept you busy, too busy to worry about frivolous things like dating and men. Feelings of this magnitude were too complex for your liking. And you hopelessly wished you could go back to before the feelings, when life was less… of a hassle.

Steve POV

The chill air of winter shown with each breath Steve took, as he burst through the door into the open street. His chest felt tight, his shirt wound up tight in his fist. What had he been thinking, kissing her like that? Steve thought to himself, unstable. But the kiss. That was the kiss of romance films, this kind of kiss that only happens in books. Steve has dreamed of kissing y/n for weeks, but he never imagined it be anything like that. Her full bodied lips were soft and warm against his. She tasted fruity, a mixture of her and the wine, and he loved it.

The way she kissed him back… it gave Steve shivers just just thinking about it. There was so much passion and lust in that kiss. He wanted more...

No. Steve aggressively ran his hands through his hair, thwarted in his own thoughts. He plucked his phone from his place tucked in his back pocket, sending a text to the group chat of Bucky and Sam.

Meet at my place. Need to talk.

Steve pulled the hood of his sweatshirt over his head, tucking the phone back into its place, as he took off in a trout. He needed to clear his mind- at least try- and jogging always seemed to give him a little perspective.

Sam and Bucky, stood on either side of the entry, Bucky looking utterly unamused, Sam looking a tad too eager.

The three men walked into the apartment, falling into the usual seating arrangement.

“So, you went to her place?” Sam’s  eyes nearly leapt from his head, his voice laced with anticipation.

Steve simply nodded, avoiding eye contact at all costs. “I had to try and clear the air..”

“More like you have the hots for her.”

“Shut it Sam.” Bucky chimed in, his arms crossed over his chest. “So what happened?”

“Well after I got off the phone with you Buck, I had every intention of talking with her but…” Steve trailed off, his head feeling fuzzy as he remembered that amazingly fiery kiss.

“Well What happened? Did you talk to her, or just run away?” Bucky asked, as him and Sam watched Steve with curious eyes.

“No, I kissed her.”

“That’s my boy.” Sam smiled as he patted Steve’s shoulder.  Bucky shook his head at the both of them.

“I… after the kiss I… i don’t.” Steve rustled through his already askew hair. “This marriage, Larissa… I just don’t know anymore. I’ve never felt this unsure about anything before.”

Steve rubbed at his beard as he sank into the oversized chair, desperately wishing he could disappear.

“I know she’s a real catch Steve, I get that, she’s a doll, but what about the agreement? You know that I have your best interest at heart, and I, Sam, even Nat,  will support you-“ Sam nodded in agreement as Bucky spoke. “But you know this marriage affects more than just you-“

“Fuck.”

Sam and Bucky starred at Steve in a state of awe. He rarely, if ever cursed.

Steve squeezed his eyes tight, wishing for better days.

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