they say my life is perfect that's why a lot of people envy me, but that's not true.

people's definition of a perfect family is being rich and all that but even though i was born with a gold-spoon, life wasn't perfect.

my parent's would always fight about my father commiting infidelity and mom smoking, whenever they shout at each other i would always lock myself up in my room because i know that when i get out of my room, they'll beat me to death.

they did it once when i accidentally broke a glass when they were fighting, they shouted numerous of words that's not pleasant to hear when you're just nine.

when you see them on television you'll think that im lying because all they show on screen is pure nonsense, being kind to other people just so they could get their trust for the votes, yeah they do that.

now they abandoned me, dad left with his mistress, and mom, well, she's still here but she's treating me like im invisible.

"YOU SHOULDN'T JUST MAKE PEOPLE IF YOU'RE GOING TO ABANDON THEM!" i shouted at my father when he was packing his things, "because they think they've done something wrong their whole lives."

he stopped for a moment and looked at me with pain in his eyes but looked away and kept on packing, he still left.

i remember my mom saying that if food was her boyfriend she'd be in an abusive relationship, she says it like it's a joke when it's not, dad was her last and when she married him days later dad was abusing her.

dad and mom left the house, i was the only one left and that was the day i realized that silenced is really loud, when you have silenced it's harder to keep stuff out.

sometimes i get these moments where i just lay down because everything feels sort of, too much. and i look up to see the blue or the black skies and i feel myself melting into it, happy and innocent.

i envy people with family wether broken or not, atleast they weren't abandoned by both their parents.

sometimes, everything is suddenly really simple,it's like everything shifts in a moment and you step out of your body, out of your life, you step out and you see where you are really clearly, you see yourself and think, FUCK THIS SHIT.

that's why i also left the house and went on a roadtrip to find my peace, ofcourse with money and the car my dad left in the house.

that's where i met another shithead named primo, he's a loner but goodlooking, if i'll rate him..maybe a 7.

he ran away from their home saying it's shit and all, i invited him on my roadtrip to peace world, it's cringe, i know but why do you care.

primo seems like a guy i could love but sometimes he feels like a total stranger.

i kept finding my peace and home when it was beside me all along singing all time low songs.

he always says things like, "to be mad in a deranged world is not madness, it's sanity." pretty deep shit right.

- tala

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