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đ°PAIRING: [LADS] Caleb x fem!reader
word count: 3.5k
đGENRE: Slow-burn, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
đSYNOPSIS: A slow-burn of childhood friendship, unspoken longing, and bittersweet of growing up.
đTAGS: Unspoken feelings, frustration over mixed signals, unspoken insecurities, drifting away, mutual but unconfessed feelings
đA/N: I used the 3rd perspective just to make the story more emotionally convincing. This is mainly focused on Y/N... She/her pronouns too! Sorry :(
I decided to post this first part since I have already proofread it. Grammars still suck though :( AND CALEB might be OOC, but
that's how I imagine him in a situationship haha
FIRST FANFIC BTW!! LET'S GOOOOO
ALSO!! Listen to Niki's version of "You'll be in my heart" (in loop) as you read this first part. This story was inspired by it!
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The rain kept pouring, hitting against all the windows they had in their home. The rainâs patter was as soft as a wish fading before it was spoken. What wishes could be made though? Theyâre already living a life filled with contentment. Y/N never wishes to change something. She already has a home, a meal to eat every day, an old woman to look after her⌠and better, Caleb. It wasnât that long enough to have him for herself. In some ways, he was always there- like an overworked, lone officer on duty, protecting her as if she were his last safe place.
Soon enough, a deep, rolling growl rumbled from outside, making her whimper softly in fear. There was no way that she could be facing the thunder- she was still just a little girl... Who would stand up bravely before the wrath of the gods?
Those sounds made it seem as if the gods hated her, causing her tears to fall out of her eyes. âCome on, N/n,â Caleb looked at her with worried brows and a small smile. His patience never wavered when it came to her. âYou have to face it again.â He turned away slightly, worry flickering in his eyes as he glanced toward the door. He could hear his friends being loud outside on the street, caught in the rain.
Y/N felt her soft cotton sweater tugged by the hem of her sleeve. âIâm here this time, okay? If you want to come with me and play outside, you have to face the thunder,â he encouraged her while focusing back on her, giving her another slightest tug. âTrust me pip, we may be small⌠but we are here to conquer the world! Nothing can stop us, remember?â
She was still pouring tears, sobbing as her mouth quivered, letting out soft gasps that should have been words meant for him instead. She could only utter, âThe thunder can stop me, Caby⌠I-Iâm still scared.â
Caleb winced internally in response. He hadnât meant to accidentally trap her in the attic weeks ago while he was out there protecting her⌠or rather, forgetting to let her out while having his own adventure with his supposed âbulliesâ. His hands reached out to her chubby and soft reddened cheeks, with traces of tears on them. âYou were brave, Pipsqueak. Even if I found you curled up in the corner, you managed to protect yourself without me.â Caleb then wiped her tears. âYouâll be okay. Caleb trusts you more than himself.â
Then, Y/N embraced him slowly, hooking her arms firmly from below and over his shoulders, pulling him in as if he might disappear. Caleb is slightly taken aback, yet his gaze softens from familiarity. He buried his face into her hair, his hands steady there as well, vowing to the universe to protect her. Thatâs all he needed to prove his enduring love for her.
From that embrace, he found himself with a determined resolve. He slowly leaned back, his hands slipping to her shoulders as hers fell limply to her sides. âListen, Pip,â He grinned, showing his missing tooth. âYou donât have to force yourself out there⌠If you need me beside you, Iâll guarantee to keep you safe.â Caleb took a step back and lifted his hand for her. âBut if my pipsqueak needs me now and forever, then⌠the mighty Caleb chooses to be with her.â When Y/N placed her palms on top of his, he continued, âAfter all, I promised to be there for her.â
âAnd⌠I wonât go outside this time, wellâfor now. You donât want me getting sick from the rain, right?â He said with a chuckle, pulling Y/N alongside him as they went further back into the house, ditching his friends who were still playing outside in the rain.
âżă.ăËă. ăâËăâż.
The rain had long passed, but Caleb never did. Even after all these years, he was still her protector, her best friendâ the same boy who once held her close during thunderstorms, whose hands wiped away her tears, and whose presence made the world feel a little less frightening. Yet, somewhere along the way, he became more awareâmore cautious as soon as it was about Y/N. It didnât feel right to her at least, he was never the type of guy who would isolate himself. Even if he was, she couldnât figure out the reasons why he would.
In the classroom, his voice blended with the buzz of laughter and casual banter. His placement was 2 columns apart, with two chairs sharing one table at every column for seating arrangement. Y/N glanced at his desk, surrounded by a familiar crowd, who were the same people who sought him out for jokes, favors, and companionshipâ in short, he was quite well-known.
Y/N sat on her chair, her eyes drawn to him as if he were the only light in the building. He shines so brightly like the sun, making his presence impossible to ignore. It was the same light he carried as a boy, the one that had never dimmed, no matter how much he grew.
She watched the way he leaned against his desk, crossing his arms, flashing a grin that pulled at the corners of her memory. There he wasâthe boy who once smiled through missing teeth. Funny, isnât it? Back then, he would grin without a hint of shame, gaps and all, while never caring what anyone thought.
She sighed, propping her cheek against her palm, her eyes narrowing with a deep, aching sense of yearning. How could he be so painfully close, yet so distant when he was with others?
Then, Y/N saw the way he casually brushed his hair backâ a small, thoughtless gesture that somehow made her heart tighten. She was used to seeing him loud and carefree with everyone, brimming with confidence, especially with her. But watching him grow shy over something she couldnât even hear from afar made her feel as though she was missing out on a part of him.
Y/N tucked her hands beneath her desk, clenching them slightly as if she could hold on to the version of him she once knew⌠the boy who shielded her from everything. But now, whenever his eyes met hers, they were filled with different kinds of worrying ones she couldnât quite understand. How was it any different from the way he looked at her when they bantered at home? Why did it suddenly feel more hesitant? Was she⌠someone to be ashamed of?
But she shook the thoughts away with a sigh, all conflicted again. She knew better than to assume so quickly.
Zayneâs voice cut through her thoughts, pulling her back to the earth. Thank God for making him her seatmate. Zayne was also her childhood best friend, having to grow up with her and Caleb. Although he appeared later in their lives, he fit in effortlessly. He brought his wit, aloof demeanor, and sharp-minded seriousness into their little trio.
Y/N turned her head toward him, raising a brow in confusion as to why he called her name. âIâm already sensing something,â Zayne muttered with a sigh. âSomething you need to address.â
And she knew exactly what he meant.
Zayne had always seen through her; he knew about her longing for Caleb. He had heard it all: the times she missed him, the way she gushed about how cute he looked whenever he bragged about her, and how she wished they could go backâback to the days when they were just kids. Back when Calebâs attention felt different... much warmer like he was shielding her from the entire worldâs coldness.
But now, even when Caleb offered her extra care, it no longer had the same spark. He was still there, but he no longer held her like she was his only princess.
He simply stared at her for a moment before adjusting his glasses. âI heard heâs planning to become a pilot,â he said casually, but the weight of his words hung between them. It was a reminder of the inevitable that soon enough, they would separate and go their own ways.
Y/N always hated the thought of it. She never wanted this to end, never wanted him to leave.
She slowly lifted her head once again, unable to resist stealing another glance at Caleb. And by chance, their eyes met.
For a fleeting moment, her breath caught in her throat. She expected him to smileâto flash her that familiar, easy grin he always saved just for her. The one that felt like home. But this time, he didnât.
Instead, his gaze faltered, dropping down to his desk. His brows furrowed in some sort of regret while his fingers absently traced the edge of his notebook as if he were suddenly too restless to meet her eyes. The friends chattering near him faded into background noise, yet he paid them little attention.
That stung more than it should have been.
Because in that brief exchange, she felt him slipping away, and she didnât know how to hold on.
Will he still protect her like he always wanted to?
Y/N turned back to Zayne, her eyes clouded with disappointment and a deep sense of failure. âZayneâŚâ she murmured, her voice trembling slightly, thick with hurt and longing.
He met her gaze with his expression softening. Without a word, he gave her a reassuring nod as his hand gently patted her head. His small gesture was meant to ease the ache he knew too well.
âWe still have time,â he whispered softly. But even if he said it, neither of them was sure if they believed it.
âżă.ăËă. ăâËăâż.
During lunch, Caleb casually made his way to Zayne and Y/N. After all, they were his original friends. He grew up with them, so it was normal to join them from time to time despite being popular. The surroundings were lively and bustling, filled with laughter and cheerful conversations.
Caleb noticed that one stood out, which was Y/Nâs downcast look.
She sat there, unusually quiet, with her eyes staring absently at her lunch.
âSo,â Zayne began calmly, his gaze cutting towards Caleb with subtle curiosity.
Y/N, still seated beside Zayne, stiffened slightly when Caleb slid into the empty chair in front of them. She perked up the moment she caught Zayneâs voice and attentionâit was her cue. He was lowkey eager to hear her continue the conversation.
Taking the chance, she said, âI almost forgot,â with a soft chuckle, though her voice held a faint strain. She placed her lunch aside, reaching into her bag for her notebook.
Once the notebook was in her hands, she turned to Caleb as her eyes turned slightly hopeful. âCaby, I need some small lectures in this⌠particularââ she flipped the pages open, revealing a mix of notes from other subjects. ââŚlesson,â she then finished softly.
Calebâs curiosity was piqued as he glanced at her with his brow slightly furrowed. Then, Y/N slid her notebook close to him, her fingers pointing at a familiar physics lesson.
âThat one? Sure, when we get home,â he replied with a casual shrug, though his face was casual, nothing to offend or doubt her thoughts of him.
Y/N nodded subtly in response, a small smile tugging her lips. âI still remember when you taught me the different units of measurement.â her voice mixed with fondness and her eyes softened with nostalgia as she reminisced about the times he tutored her in middle school, particularly about numbers.
âYeah, I remember that clearly, Pip,â he replied softly. At first, she thought she had it⌠until she noticed his little amusement in his tone and reaction.
He shifted his focus back to the pages she had shown him. His eyes skimmed the notes with a distant air, a chance for him to be detached from the moment.
Her chest tightened at his lack of response. She couldnât help but look at him with her eyes drooping slightly, filled with disappointment. Usually, he would light up with the brightest grin, like a dog receiving its favorite treat. He would also carry on with their memories, eagerly describing his side of the storyâor adding little details about their shared adventures.
But this time, he didnât.
âżă.ăËă. ăâËăâż.
Caleb waited at the gates, leaning against the wall with his eyes fixed on the pavement. His friends had already left, and the lingering silence was beginning to weigh on him. Going home together was a part of their routine⌠familiar comfort he quietly counted on.
When Zayne and Y/N finally emerged from the main entrance, his posture straightened slightly as the faint flicker of energy returned to his eyes.
But when they drew closer, he didnât greet them with his usual joyous smile. Instead, he simply watched them approach, his expression calm but distant.
Calebâs fingers tightened around the strap on his shoulder, while his other hand hung loosely by his side.
The three of them eventually stepped through the gate and turned to face one another.
âSee ya,â He casually murmured, raising his hand slightly in farewell to Zayne. The latter simply nodded in return, his expression stoic as ever.
When his eyes shifted to Y/N, Caleb caught the glance they exchanged. The way Zayneâs gaze lingered on her face made him forget to breathe, a dull ache of bitterness pooling inside him. There was no possessiveness in it.
He wasnât jealous⌠just envious. Though he wasnât sure if there was any much of a difference.
Zayne nodded at Y/N once more, and she offered him a soft smile in return. With a casual gesture, he patted her head, his expression giving no effort.
âCheer up,â Zayne muttered flatly, his tone lacking any real conviction.
She chuckled softly, her eyes brimming with faint warmth before she gently pushed his hand away. âYeah, yeahâŚâ she teased lightly, though she couldnât help but find it amusing. His reassurance always meant something, even with a face that didnât look the slightest bit convincing.
âżă.ăËă. ăâËăâż.
Y/N kept walking, but her thoughts grew heavier with every step. Doubt and questions clouded her mind, blurring the edges of her resolve. Caleb, however, lags slightly behind, breaking the familiar rhythm of walking side by side. The distance between them, though small, felt unbearably vast.
She couldnât take it anymore, at least⌠not without her heart feeling like it might cave in. But still, she kept her head low, unwilling to meet his eyes or face the heavy, humid air that lingered between them.
Did Caleb even realize how much his avoidance weighed on her chest? Why was it painfully quiet now as they walked together?
And when, exactly, had it become this way?
As she walked, Y/N caught a glimpse from the corner of her eye, his hand subtly lifting beside her wrist. It might seem odd and almost out of place for a fleeting moment. Yet, she recognized it for what it wasâa fragile attempt to reach out and a quiet plea for her to notice him.
But just as quickly, his hand retreated, and she heard him wince from behind. The faint sound confirmed that she wasnât imagining or hallucinating it. Without a second thought, she halted, her sudden stop causing Caleb to stiffen in surprise. He came to an abrupt pause, and his eyes snapping up to meet hers.
When their eyes finally locked, his eyes were wide and startled. But hers were weighed down with sadness, worry, confusion, and that small unmistakable trace of longing.
Caleb froze, his breath catching. She had never looked at him that way before. But if he could see into her heart, heâd know that was exactly how he looked at her too.
His brows slowly knit in concern, mirroring the sorrow in her eyes. Even his chest was tightened with yearning, but he forced himself to bury it. Caleb tried to mask it with indifference, but it was painfully too obvious. No matter how he tried,
He couldnât hide the way he ached for her, too.
He even tried to find reasons why he couldnât fight the inevitable for her. When he once could so easily as a child where he would stand tall without fear, protecting her from anything with unwavering confidence. But now, he felt so small and unsure, afraid that if he reached for her, he might end up losing her completely in the process.
Y/N sniffled softly and stepped closer, reaching for his calloused hands with both of hers, wrapping around the hand that had longed to reach hers earlier. Their eyes locked, and for a fleeting moment, it was enough. Caleb never realized his avoidance would only deepen their longing and it would make it harder to ignore. But he knew he was still strong enough to hold back, convincing himself that Y/N no longer needed him the way she once did as a child.
With a shaking breath, she slowly lifted his hand to her temple, her brows knitting tighter with the weight of everything she couldnât say to him. She couldnât speak nowâinstead, this gesture was her silent plea, a reminder that she still needed him just as much as before.
That simple action alone made his chest tighten with regret, and before he knew it⌠he was pulling her inâgently, but with aching desperation. His arms wrapped around her, holding her as if he could shield her from everything. He buried his face into her hair, his breath shuddering as vulnerability clung to him and the fear of loneliness engulfed the both of them.
âDonât look at me like that, PipsqueakâŚâ his voice fractured with emotion, barely above a whisper. His arms tightened around her, with him trying to keep her from slipping away.
The ache of unspoken feelings hung between them, it was the kind of longing that seeped into their bones⌠a familiar pain of loving someone so deeply, yet being too afraid to admit it.
They both knew that they should risk it. They absolutely wanted to. But why does he hold back? He was confidentâconfident enough to make her his. Yet questions linger within him..
If only he knew what held him back.
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1/3
P2 [SOON trust..]
plspls tell me how did I do
