teaser tidbit tuesday courtesy of @rewritetheending. I am still in green creek brain rot and Gordo and Thomas make me insane. Also I like how Thomas kind of just haunts everyone, so. Some Gordo haunting. I like second person for ghost Thomas. It feels kind of removed? Idk, don't think too hard about it.
"God damn it, Ox," he mumbles to himself, squinting down at the phone in his hand before leaning away from it a little. "I don't know what that means."
Joy and sorrow bubbles up in your throat for having the chance to see this. Knowing that it isn't meant for you. Tripping on how it could have been if you'd been less insular. If the boy who had been your witch had been allowed to grow into a man at your side. He still is your witch. You'd felt him come home to you for just a second before it had been too late. Someday he'll come home again. Trade one home for another, anyway. But not for a long while.
He finally just sighs and presses the call button, bringing the phone to his ear.
"I don't know what that means," he says again.
"What what means?"
"Whatever you sent me."
"âŚThe smiling emoji?"
"TheâŚ" He squints again, pulling the phone away to look at it again. "Smiling?" He mumbles.
Ox's next reply comes after a pause, quieter, as if for privacy. "You should reconsider the glasses. Or the exam at least."
"I don't needâ"
"What'd you think it was?"
"Shut up, Ox."
You still think he's wonderful. But, being maybe a little wiser than you had been in your youth, you hope he continues to change. Accidentally gives you more of these little moments of your pack. He hangs up and pulls the text up again, blinking at it. Pulling the phone away. Back again. This is not for you. You can imagine the indignation if he knew his privacy was not entirely his own in this moment. You take these little moments of life to tide you over anyway.
I am too dead for proper tags but if you'd like to do it please do <3
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Kaoru woke with a jolt, the trails of a nightmare clinging to his skin and filling his lungs like smoke.
He sat up and tucked his legs underneath him, shaking fingers pushing his hair out of his face. His ragged breaths were like thunder in the inky silence of the unlit bedroom, dancing to the beat of his pounding heart.
"Kaoru?" a low voice sounded in the darkness.
A second later a night-light flicked on, drawing Kaoru's attention to Kojiro's sleepy, concerned gaze. "What's wrong?"
Kaoru blew out a harsh, trembling breath, squeezing his eyes closed at the sudden light. Almost immediately a headache rose to the surface of his forehead. "Nothing. Go back to sleep."
The bed shifted, assumably because Kojiro adjusted his position. "Are you sure?"
"I'm fine," Kaoru brushed him off again. "Just a dream. Please turn off the light."
A moment later, the room was plunged back into darkness, and Kaoru sighed, bringing up his hands to rub the bridge of his nose, keeping his eyes closed. Something touched his shoulder, and he flinched away on instinct.
"Shh, it's just me," Kojiro said softly. The thing -- which, Kaoru realized, was Kojiro's warm hand -- returned, rubbing his back soothingly. "Was it a bad dream?"
Kaoru could only hum in confirmation. The tense muscles in his shoulders slowly relaxed underneath Kojiro's touch.
"Do you want to talk about it?"
Kaoru shook his head, and only realized a few seconds too late that Kojiro likely couldn't see the gesture. He seemed to receive the message, though, since he didn't ask further.
The hand on Kaoru's back stopped its stroking, traveling over his shoulder and down his arm until caught Kaoru's elbow.
"Come here," Kojiro murmured. A second hand gently brushed stray strands of hair behind Kaoru's ears. The hand on his elbow tugged him forward, and before he knew it Kaoru was enveloped in a set of warm, strong arms.
"It's okay," Kojiro whispered, smoothing a hand over Kaoru's head, running fingers through Kaoru's messy hair. "You're okay. You're safe."
Kaoru knew that, but he didn't have it in him to snark back. Instead, his arms slowly, hesitantly, wrapped around Kojiro's waist. His heartbeat settled, his breathing slowed, with every reassuring word Kojiro planted into his skin, with every stroke of Kojiro's fingernails across Kaoru's scalp.
After a while, Kojiro shifted, leaning back into the mattress, pulling Kaoru along with him and tucking him against his chest. He pressed a kiss onto Kaoru's forehead. His hand never stopped stroking his hair.
"Don't you worry," Kojiro said, so unbelievably caring and tender it almost brought tears to Kaoru's eyes. "I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise."
update everyone! the emotions have decided to hit a little different tonight. itâs nearly 3 am, and sleep is supposed to be guarding against what torments in the night hours, the stuff i somewhat successfully fight off when itâs light, with distractions and the like.
and yet, here i am, awake again, and surprise! i ache desperately for the loneliness i feel to be ripped out of me. i wish for the soil it grew in to be churned up and washed in scathing fire all over until nothing is left of what once grew there. then maybe a hand to gently press the soil back down, and a rain to cool any remaining heat.
to never feel loneliness again. to never let it ever take root again. i canât be a gardener if iâm the garden. i canât give anything a garden is supposed to give. i canât give what i donât have, but i still canât help but want. still. always. wanting and such. idk man. shit hurts.
Literally no one asked for this, but Thomas Bennett has always been a little morally grey when it comes to protecting his sons' peace to me. Joe's peace in particular. I looked at this until I stopped liking it, so it's time to stop looking at it!
with a hand on his head and heart
Rated E, Thomas/Ox
His son's rage and pain had been⌠challenging as both his alpha and his father. Jessie had been complicated but manageable. Joe had still been so young, not entirely understanding what candy canes and pine cones and epic and awesome meant for him, how it might change as he grew and matured. He had understood the jealousy, the desire to keep Ox to himself, but it had still been colored with childhood. Now, with Ox an adult finding himself in ways decidedly unavailable to his son and Joe in the throes of adolescence⌠Things were different this time.
Remember when Aileen told Gordo, "I'm sure Mark will teach you to jerk off with the left."
How Easy You are to Need
Rated E, Mark/Gordo
"No, I'll take care of myself." He looks confused so I add, "Let me watch you."
"Get fucking real, wolf."
"I'm going through a lot right now, Gordo." He gives me a withering look and I smile at him.
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 Kojiro had lost track of how long heâd been sitting in the same spot.
The armchair in the corner of Kaoruâs hospital room was too small to slump into comfortably, so Kojiro had given up on the idea of taking a nap. He wasnât sure heâd be able to sleep now, anyway. Every time he closed his eyes, the events of the past few hours flashed by in his mind.Â
Entering the emergency room had been a blur -- running in with Kaoru in his arms had brought the attention on him right away, and within seconds he was swarmed by nurses and staff. Countless questions about what happened rained down on him, and he found himself unable to open his mouth to answer them. Relief washed over Kojiro when Shadow started filling in the gaps for him, and then a nurse tugged on his sleeve, pointing him to an empty bed and instructing him to put Kaoru down carefully.
Kojiro could only do as he was told, and he couldâve sworn Kaoruâs grip on his jacket lingered for a touch too long before he let go. Their gazes met, and Kojiro wouldâve done anything to get rid of the fear in his eyes, if the hospital staff hadnât cut in and busied themselves with Kaoruâs injuries.
Before Kojiro knew it, Kaoruâs bed was being wheeled away. A black hole swallowed everything within the cage of his ribs as he watched Kaoru disappear behind a set of heavy white doors.Â
One way or another heâd found his way into a waiting room. Someone pushed a small cardboard cup of cheap coffee into his hands. He vaguely remembered staring at the wall until its subtle pattern began to swirl along with his stomach.
Eventually a nurse notified him that Kaoru was confirmed to be stable, no severe or life-altering damage done, and that theyâd moved him to a separate room to rest. She walked off then, without saying another word, knowing that Kojiro would follow her to whichever room theyâd assigned him.
Kaoru had been sleeping from the moment Kojiro had entered. Kojiro had simply collapsed into the nearest chair and watched him, illuminated only by a small nightlight.Â
A handful of minutes ago the door had opened, shaking Kojiro out of whatever reverie heâd been stuck in, revealing the small, tired frame of a nurse about to wrap up her night shift. She passed through swiftly to check on Kaoru, waking him gently and asking him a handful of basic questions to make sure his concussion didnât get worse. Kojiro didnât even get the chance to look him in the eye -- he was back asleep before the nurse had closed the door behind her.
By now, the early morning sun started peeking through the thin indigo curtains and slipping through whatever slit they didnât happen to cover, bathing the small room in a soft, golden glow.
Kojiro had never before had this much time to look at Kaoru. To really look at him.
He lay in a half-upright position, his back and neck supported by sturdy pillows. Bandages covered most of his head wounds, and his right arm was tucked securely into a sling. Traces of blood still lingered in his hair, splayed around him in tangled strands. His chest rose and fell peacefully underneath his hospital gown -- a movement Kojiro had tried to calm himself with over and over, but never quite managed.
Even in this state, Kaoru was heartbreakingly beautiful.
Kojiro had always known he was, and heâd always been aware of it. But there were particular moments, such as this one, where it slapped him in the face and left him reeling.
He didnât think he had ever ached to touch him this much.
As quietly as he could, he scooted his chair closer to Kaoruâs bed. Then he reached out, slid his hand underneath Kaoruâs free one, and interlaced their fingers.
For a moment, he marveled at how well their hands seemed to fit together, like two matching puzzle pieces. How his hands, tan and covered in calluses and tiny little scars heâd collected in culinary school, contrasted with Kaoruâs fair ones, slender and smooth except for the spots on his fingers that carried his calligraphy brush. And how, above all else, he didnât want to let go.
Then Kaoruâs fingers moved, solidifying their grip on Kojiroâs hand with a slight squeeze.Â
Kojiroâs head shot up, and saw that Kaoruâs eyes were open, trained on their intertwined fingers, the tiniest smile tugging up his lips.
âI knew you were sentimental,â he said lowly, âbut this is a lot even for you.â
âKaoru,â Kojiro breathed, and before he could stop himself, he started laughing. Soft, breathy, desperate chuckles dripping with relief; the kind that could transform into harsh, racking sobs if one wasnât careful. Finally, finally, the vines that had strangled him for hours on end began to loosen their hold, and he leaned forward until his forehead touched their shared hands.
âNow, now,â he heard Kaoru say, his voice laced with amusement. âNo need for your carefree spirit to be so worry-struck. Cheer up, little Kojiro.â
Kaoruâs hand pulled free from Kojiroâs grip and ran through Kojiroâs hair soothingly. âI canât believe I have to comfort you when Iâm the injured one here,â he added, mock-sullenly.Â
âAlright, alright,â Kojiro said, sitting up, âyou can cut it out now.â
Kaoru hummed, lifting his hand to cover his smile with slender fingers, the way he often hid it behind his favorite fan.Â
Then, as if the events of the night before suddenly came back to him, his smile fell.Â
"Are you in pain?" Kojiro asked immediately.Â
Kaoru started shaking his head, then winced at the movement, squeezing his eyes shut. Vines started creeping up Kojiro's chest again. He feared they wouldn't be completely gone until Kaoru was back to how he'd been before. And that could take weeks. Months.Â
Kaoru opened his eyes, then stared at a spot on the wall. His free hand clutched the fabric of the covers.Â
"I can't believe how stupid I've been."
"Stupid?" Kojiro was dumbstruck. "Kaoru, nothing about this is your fault--"Â
"No, dimwit," Kaoru interrupted him. "I can't believe how stupid I've been to believe anything remained of Adam as we used to know him."
Oh.
"I wanted to see it for myself," Kaoru continued. "See how much he'd changed, if there was anything in him at all that I could recognize. Some part of me held out hope that I-- we could turn it all back somehow."
Kaoru cast his eyes down to where his hand strangled the sheets. His gaze-- no, his entire body, held the unmistakable weight of grief. "But I was wrong."
"Not just you," Kojiro said. He reached out and stroked the back of Kaoru's hand with his fingertips. "It's hard to watch, seeing the person he's become."
Kaoru nodded slowly. The movement made a few strands of hair fall into his face.
An idea sparked in Kojiroâs mind.
"Oh, wait, here--" Kojiro dug into the pocket of his jacket, fishing out the spare hair tie he always carried around "--let me tie up your hair for you."
Kaoru blinked at him, then hummed, acceding. Some of the tension in his shoulders dropped, suggesting to Kojiro that he wasnât the only one glad to have an excuse to change the subject.Â
He carefully sat down on the edge of the bed and helped Kaoru sit upright a little. With his fingers he gently combed through Kaoru's hair, untangling any knots he came across, scraping his fingernails across Kaoruâs scalp for good measure. Kaoru's eyes fluttered closed as Kojiro worked -- the tiny noises of pleasure he made from the back of his throat were the only sign that he was still awake.
When his hair was all smoothed out, Kojiro gathered most of the strands together into a loose ponytail, one of Kaoru's signature looks, and wrapped the hair tie around it until he was sure no amount of twisting and turning would undo it.
"There," he said, tucking a stray strand behind Kaoru's ear. "That should do it."
"Thanks," Kaoru breathed curtly. His cheeks took on a rosy tone.Â
Kojiro couldn't help caressing Kaoru's cheek as he moved his hand away, his skin igniting at the touch. As he sat back down in the armchair, Kaoru exposed the palm of his hand -- an invitation. Kojiro accepted, taking Kaoru's hand in both of his.Â
"I'm tired," Kaoru sighed.
"Then rest." Kojiro traced circles on the back of Kaoru's hand with one of his thumb. "That's all you have to do for now."
Kaoru hummed. He turned his head so he could meet Kojiro's gaze.Â
"Will you stay?"Â
Kojiro's heart jumped, filling his chest with sparks of static electricity. Kaoru was usually too proud to admit he had any needs or wants -- and if he was forced to, he tended to go with arrogant humor rather than vulnerable sincerity. The fact that he chose the latter this time around suggested something was changing between them.
With the way his entire body tingled with warmth, Kojiro couldnât say he wasnât excited about the prospect.Â
He smiled, and lifted Kaoruâs hand to press a feather-light kiss on top of his knuckles.Â
Kenjirou hadn't realized he'd fallen asleep on the couch in his cramped apartment until the doorbell tore him from his nap.
The tv was still on -- the evening news broadcast was the only source of light to speak of. Kenjirou sat up and massaged his neck, tense and sore from the position he'd accidentally taken on.
When the doorbell rang again, any thoughts of staying put out of spite were washed away by the overwhelming need to murder whoever had woken him. Kenjirou got to his feet and trudged towards the front door, almost tripping over the messenger bag he carried with him to school in the process.
Kenjirou didn't know who he expected to find behind the door, but it sure as hell wasn't Kawanishi Taichi, hands tucked into the pockets of his jeans, grinning lazily.
"What are you doing here?" tumbled out of Kenjirou's mouth, harsher than he'd intended.
"I'd expected a warmer welcome after not seeing you for ages, but then again, it's you we're talking about," Taichi responded without missing a beat.
Kenjirou rubbed at his eyes with a fist. He was about 90% sure he was still sleeping.
"I thought you worked on Friday nights. Hell, I thought you worked basically every night."
"What, I can't take a night off to spend some time with my long-distance boyfriend, who just wrapped up a really fucking stressful semester of med school?"
Amidst the surprise, leftover anxiety and the weight of exhaustion pushing down on Kenjirou's shoulders, he didn't quite know what to do with himself.
"I just..." The fond smile on Taichi's face was stripping him bare. It was all Kenjirou could do not to drop his composure and fall into his arms, hugging him so tightly he'd never slouch again.
Kenjirou hadn't allowed to let himself think about how much he missed Taichi while they were off finding their own way in life, while they worked tirelessly for their respective futures. Now that he finally had a chance to breathe, it came crashing down so forcefully it almost made his knees buckle.
"You know I don't like people showing up unannounced," he finished eventually.
"That's what surprises are, Kenjirou. I thought I'd try one of those for once. Are you going to let me in or what?"
Kenjirou opened the door wider and stepped aside without a word. The bolt of the lock had only just fallen back into place when Kenjirou was pushed up against it and Taichi's lips crashed into his.
Within an instant, Kenjirou was wide awake. His hands eagerly roamed over Taichi's chest, dove underneath Taichi's t-shirt and pulled him closer, closer, closer. He wanted to feel every inch of him after being deprived for so long. Their kiss was impatient and hungry, turned his blood into liquid fire, hot and raging.
"I didn't drive all this way to say 'hey'," Taichi panted against Kenjirou's mouth, when they finally broke apart to catch their breath. "I have some catching up to do, what with you being busy saving the world and all."
"It's only med school, asswipe," Kenjirou remarked, but the laughter that bubbled up in his throat diluted some of the venom. "Wait-- you drove here? Last time I checked you didn't have a licence."
"I took a taxi, actually."
"Moron." Kenjirou dove in for another kiss, but the both of them were smiling too broadly to keep it going.
"I missed you," Taichi said softly, leaning down and touching his forehead against Kenjirou's. "It's been too long."
The twinge of guilt was barely perceptible in the maelstrom of Kenjirou's chest, but it was there. "I know. I'll try to make more time for you next semester."
"As long as it doesn't spread you even thinner," Taichi said, kissing Kenjirou's forehead. "But for now, let's not waste any more time, shall we?"
