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[Un]comfortable
It's sometimes uncomfortable, to acknowledge we are lovable. Encrypted, social scripted, blue, or ungovernable/vulnerable you. No matter where we go from here, It's gonna get extremely weird. No matter where they go from here: we'll make them all uncomfortable too.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Infinite Machine
You are machine: deep inside of you's the infinite. It lives inside your dreams. You realize that you were born with it. It's made of all your love and it tells you who to be. It urges you to smile more, because you're so lovely.
On target
So I want to rewrite everything I ever wrote but my rhythm feels trapped like the song's stuck in my throat;
and now I cannot deny how much I wished that I'd known but I'll never go back: that could never be my home.
When I write it all down I really don't like how it sounds well, when you put it that way what does it all sound like now?
// it all sounds like a river // on some old faraway shore; // when we're so far from this daylight // and this locked-up-tight front door.
Is the song made of the stars now, would that change who we are?
// but if she doesn't answer // have we gone one bridge too far?
[ When you write it in the margins do you still like how it sounds? ] Well, when you write it on-target like you write it, like, right now.
Never Change
Why is everything so strained? Do you still love me that way? Why do these questions still replay in both our minds, like every day?
Why does our love have to hurt? Why can't we try to make it work? Life is growth and growth is change. But you leave me with the blame, You tell me, I'm the one who's strange. "I never wanted you to change."
I never wanted you to go. I only needed you to try. "Why did that part of you die?" Never needed you to change, I only wanted you to stay.
Never needed you to fly! Why did that part of you die? Or "was the real you a lie"? Why do you push me out, "goodbye"? Don't I deserve to be told why? I never wanted you to change.
Why throw me out, and slam the door? Claim I don't love you anymore? Girl, just fuck me into the floor. (I know you want to — Say no more). You're the one that I adore. Why is everything so strange?
I never wanted you to go. I only needed you to try. Why did that part of you die? "Never needed you to change, I only wanted you to stay."
Why is everything this way? Why do we forget to touch? Why do I still love you so much? What do you really need today? Why is everything so strange? "I wish things would never change."
Letters to Japan
I will probably kill us with all my half-baked plans: because I am her Godzilla and she is my Japan. I want to feel real, but I always make you mad. If you could climb inside Me It wouldn't feel so bad. All these pieces of my mind- place, I wish they'd all just fall away, revealing how you find grace When peace has gone astray. I want to feel kind things, but it isn't always true. I'm not always my best self: I'm not always kind to you. There's fragments of my heart beat, they are floating out to sea to those places where you found me, just like an old cliche. I'm not walking out the door, babe, the one that I kicked in. Somewhere that's how you found pain, after my love went astray. I want to feel something, but I always make me mad. If you could climb inside Me It wouldn't feel so bad. All these torn up, shredded letters I'm not brave enough to send. They were meant for someone better than I was in the end.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Two || Mirrors
What's all this? || Two mirrors reflecting. Some old hits about correcting this old switch is disrespecting: busted lips for your bloodletting. What's all this? || Two fears protecting. The softest twitch of each projecting boss or bitch, on intersecting: Tell me, which were you expecting? What’s all this? || Two queers dissecting little bits of self-directing execution code: so we’re prospecting. But there’s no gold: we're just connecting.
Hope Machines
Come into the world broken we deferred our tattered hopes and dreams— onward!
We march: through shattered glass and molten streams. Our wailing screams, hurts and pleas, muffled by the changing leaves.
Promise me: your battered rainbows and your hope machines will topple even those regimes.
Paper Burn - Ashley Loth
It still hurts to read those words you said to me years ago,
"It's not you it's me"
After a thousand endings you think it wouldn't still hurt to my core,
You broke me,
Then you come back once I pieced myself together,
Take piece by piece of me,
Like a game of Jenga,
Until my tower would fall again,
Then you'd say sorry,
I'm a mess,
I'd sit in the destruction you caused trying to figure out if I could make myself fit again,
But every time I rebuilt that tower another piece would go missing,
A little less steady then before,
But still standing,
I won't let you back this time,
This tower has fallen enough,
Time to stand tall,
You will no longer make me feel small,
Your words mean nothing to me,
Even though this letter hurts as bad as the first I read it,
Your actions have made it easier to cut the cord,
Now you are nothing to me,
I don't take this love for-granted because it doesn't exist anymore,
You are just a bad memory,
Of a time when I had trouble loving myself,
A mistake,
A lesson well learned,
Etched and burned on my heart,
I'm gone.
Fuck this letter and fuck you.
