keep holding on
ronnie radke x reader
A/N: uwu i know everyone's like "oHMYGOD RONNIE THE BAD BOII" but i honestly love him and he can be so wholesome.
⚠️ warnings: fluff, cursing, implied abuse?, just lots of fluff cause that's what ronnie deserves.
your POV
as you sat around your apartment on a shitty day, you heard a knock at the door.
who in their right mind would come here in the middle of a thunderstorm?
you opened the door to find ronnie, soaking wet and looking a mess. has he been drinking? he was shaking and breathing heavy as he spoke.
"i-i had no where else to go. can i stay? please," he slurred. yep, definitely been drinking.
"course ronnie! c'mon you're freezing and it's pouring out."
you dragged him inside by his sleeve and grabbed a towel, throwing it at his wet head.
"dry yourself off, i'll get you extra clothes," you told him before walking upstairs. as ronnie sat on the couch, he wouldn't admit to himself that he was starting to get emotional. it was a rough day for him and he did not want to cry. he had to stay tough.
you came back with sweatpants and a t-shirt for him to wear. he was zoned out, his head in his hands, the towel above his head. you came over and sat down next to him, hesitantly putting your hand on his shoulder--you knew he hated hugs and affection like that just because he was trying to keep his tough guy appearance. you knew he wasn't like that.
he shrugged your hand off, just as you thought he would, and kept his head in the towel.
"ronnie, you know it's okay to talk to me."
he nodded, still refusing to look up at you.
"ronnie, c'mon. you need to change--"
he suddenly stood up, starting to breathe heavily as he raised his voice, "i know i do! don't you see that? i'm a mess, nobody likes me cause i've pushed everyone away!"
he had never snapped at you before...ever. and he knew better than that with everything you've gone through. when he drinks, he gets defensive and you knew you shouldn't push him past his limit.
"ron, please calm down. i-i didn't mean,,,i didn't mean it like that. i meant to change your clothes. you're gonna get sick--"
"would you,,,what would you care?!"
you sighed, "i care a lot."
he suddenly stepped toward you and yelled, "it's hard enough try walking in my shoes!! i have tried so hard to be a better soul and i still manage to fuck up!"
you flinched and put your hands up to block your face. at that moment, ronnie knew he messed up. he threw his head back and ran a hand through his knotted hair.
he whispered repeatedly, "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry y/n. you know i wouldn't touch you. you know that i would never hurt you. i'm sorry, i didn't mean that. i'm sorry."
he stepped back to give you some space while you lowered your hands.
"i know you wouldn't. it's okay."
"but it's not! i did it again, i messed up," at that point ronnie hit his breaking point. his eyes became glassy and he did something that no one would expect him to do. he cried.
you stood there stunned before walking to him and wrapping your arms around his waist. you thought he would just shrug you off like all the other times but he dug his head into your neck and wrapped his colorful arms around your neck.
you stayed like that for ten minutes while he was letting out his emotions. he had spent so long bottling them in, that you knew this was what he needed to do.
you moved him to sit on the couch and managed to pry him off your arm long enough to get him a bottle of water.
"please don't leave me n/n."
"you know i wouldn't ronnie. do you want to clean up in the bathroom?"
he nodded while you brought him to the bathroom for him to take a shower.
"uh y/n? can you--um can you please stay with me?"
you had never seen him this vulnerable. he was usually outgoing and jokingly flirting with everyone, but now he was too timid to even sit down.
"mhm," you said before both of you stepped in the shower. you ran your hand through his hair, feeling him relax with your touch.
"what happened?"
"people were spreading hate on the new album. i worked hard on it and i don't know. i just,,,what if i'm not cut out for all of this?"
you couldn't believe he doubted his talent. he was amazing. you dropped your hand from his hair to his inked hand.
"you're really doubting that you aren't cut out for music. ronnie, you're amazing. do you know how many people's lives you've saved with your music?"
"probably none."
"i know you've saved mine."
his eyes widened with a questioning look.
"you never told me--"
"there's a lot you've done for me ronnie. and your fans. half of them wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you."
"i can't believe i'm standing here at all, everything is so much to handle sometimes, y'know?"
"i know."
you put your head against his chest, feeling hot water run down your back. he played with the wet strands of your hair and the comfortable silence flooded the shower.
after drying off, you both sat on the couch to watch a movie. you slowly started to fall asleep, ronnie covering you both with a blanket and turning off the movie. before you fell asleep, he kissed you quickly, but passionatly, and whispering a small "goodnight."
sorry, it's pretty late but i wanted to post. i hope this isn't too bad. don't forget to follow me and request different celebrity imagines and stuff (:
stay alive |-/
XOcourt
