#emisstudying

I haven’t posted anything in while and I just wanted to explain why and to show you that life can be a bitch but that it’s okay.

In December I became very ill and had to take a month of school (I also had to quit my job as a carer) This put me a month behind as I didn't even have the energy to read. There was talk about me repeating the year but I really didn't want to do that so I managed to convince my school that I would be able to catch up. Going back was hard and in the beginning, sometimes I would just leave early as I needed to make sure I had enough energy to drive home and sometimes I would skip out on class if I thought it was going to be too much for me. It was also hard to establish myself in my friend group again as they had all grown closer and events had passed that I knew nothing about. 

I was then set back again when my nan died. It was hard but I was already so behind on school that I tried to carry on the best I could.

I managed to just about catch up and I thought I might be able to make it. My med-school interviews had gone well and things were looking up. I had even got a new job in a shop as it wasn't as demanding as my old one. I then broke my leg at Easter. This was not as bad as the other two things as I was still able to learn. However it meant that getting to and from school was difficult as I would usually drive myself. Again I managed and it was okay. At this point I had received two med-school offers and things were looking up again.

Then exams hit and I got ill again. This time I was almost hospitalised as I had severe acute tonsillitis and almost couldn't breathe but I was allowed to take my exams. I couldn't study much as my body just wanted to sleep in order to deal with the infection and so I was not as prepared as I needed to be.

Just after exams I also had to move house and give up my beautiful cat.

I didn't make my med-school offer. I am not going to medical school and that was a hard fact I had to come to terms with. I did manage to get into university though. I am going to study animal management and applied science with a top up year in zoo biology. After this I might be able to do post grad medicine or I might do something else entirely. This is the first time in my life that I haven't had a concrete plan and that terrifies me. 

I hope you can now all understand why I haven't posted much recently. Also side note, my leg still isn't fully recovered and I have to go back to the hospital soon.