Sketchbook entry from 3-19-17 shows a scene in which a child holds a skull to his/her face, accepting her eventual mortality with playfulness. In the background, my sister ascends up and out of her wheelchair. I thought about my sister every day in dieta. She appearing in many of my dreams or I would find myself journeying in a wheelchair. In my fifth ceremony (after the realization that energy is very tangible and that I can work with it to heal myself, I began questioning my ability to heal others with energy -mostly thinking of my sister...) I got there. In my journal I wrote, "I giggled and giggled until eventually I was crying with love. I felt this for a while and then I started transmitting that love to Rena. I put my hands down on my mat and pressed in. I could feel and see her under my hands as I pushed. I told her I was healing her, damnit. I tried to suck the demons out of her; I sent her my super raw open love; I cried for her pain; I cried at my feelings of losing my sister; I cried out my love for her. I felt totally connected to her -as though I was in her body or she in mine, feeling my joy and love (emotions I truly wished she could/would feel)- I was giving them to her and crying it all out. It felt so good to be so connected to her and have it centered around love when, for so long, it has been centered around pain. In this sketch, she is being released from pain while family holds loving space. Caterpillar π , cocoon and butterflies π¦ represent inevitable change. This is the cycle of life. Suffering and joy in coexistence. #sufferingandjoy #inevitabilityofchange #ayahuascaexperience #sketchbook #cerebralpalsy #unconditoonallove #embracingmortality #embracingchange #embracingtheedge
