#embracethecringe

23-04-2023, 12:00 am

(This is an article I wrote for my INTJ boyfriend who doesn’t like to do “cringe” things like romance, affection & emotions lmao. As an INFP dedicated to the cringe along with my ENFP friendo, we decided to write articles convincing him. Here’s mine! If you're tsundere like him, this may help you a little 😌💞)

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Person A demonstrating cringe: "Aww I wuv you my snuggle pookie bear, your tushy is so mushy I’m gonna smooch it all over!! Watch out, the smooch monster is closing in!!! Mwah mwah mwahhhh"

Person B making it worse: "Uwaaa save me!! I’m drowning in the smooch bombs! >0<"

Me, you, everyone who's watching: "Uhhhh *vomits inside and chokes*"

Chances are, while reading the above disaster you either smiled uncomfortably, felt an icky chill, or made a face reminiscent of biting into a sour lemon. What you may not know is that the physical response of the body in moments of cringe actually betrays a much deeper fear within us. 

You might assume that we “cringe” at other people because they’re acting in socially unacceptable ways, that our bodies are rejecting their behavior. And you’re correct! The reason we like to make our bodies smaller, want to curl up inside and disappear in the presence of cringe is because we view it as a Social Evaluative Threat and want to be as far/invisible as possible so it can’t be tied back to us. 

A social evaluative threat is any situation, person, or thing that carries the risk of being negatively judged, shunned, and rejected by society. Something which may be *evaluated* by *society* as a *threat*, if you wanna think of it that way. Our biology understands its danger to our survival, hence the cringe, hence refusing to be a part of that behavior. There u go, I just validated your horror of cringe using science. Now let me debunk it again >:3

Just because you’re scared or disgusted of something doesn’t mean it actually poses a danger to you. The body will often lie to us- just think of a panic attack before a school presentation or running away from invisible demons to a well-lit bedroom after turning off the kitchen light. Are you going to die? No. Will people throw tomatoes at you at the speed of a bullet for stuttering during your speech? No, maybe they’ll laugh but laughter is harmless and you’ll live another day. Will Satan himself emerge from the darkness and make you his sex slave because you turned off the light and didn’t run to safety fast enough? No, but if he did I would say yes, he has big dick energy- 

THE POINT BEING, cringing at another person means they’re putting themselves in the spotlight of social rejection, and you don’t want to join them… you’re afraid of the same rejection (or maybe genuinely agree they’re a disgrace to society and it’s not a question of association lmao). Cringing doesn’t necessitate however, that you truly, TRULY despise their actions or even find them actually worthy of getting marginalized by society. In fact, you may even admire them deep down, feel amazed and awed at how this person is able to express themselves so openly in the face of possible judgment whereas you can’t imagine putting yourself in that position. You’re shrinking inwards because you are in fact imagining yourself in that position and embarrassed of it. What you call “cringe” might be “brave”, “authentic”, “real”, “free”.

When you're feeling cringe, what you're really feeling is empathy. In empathy, there is room for understanding, room for acceptance. 

It’s not always that you don’t want to participate in cute baby talk with your girlfriend, or that you don’t want to join the drunk extroverts on the dance floor, or that you don’t want to say I love you to a friend, or that you don’t want to write “mommy” in the comments like all the other horny simps… maybe you want to, you just feel that you can’t, that you shouldn’t.     

I know you love and encourage my infp weirdness, [bf’s name], even when it’s cringy to us both. And I love and encourage your weird, edgy, and grumpy self, even if it’s cringy to us both. Because at the end of the day we admire the other’s ability to be themselves, we hold the other’s authenticity in high regard. We wouldn’t have it any other way.

Me embracing your cringe doesn’t mean me becoming you. I stay who I am. But I dote over your cringe and accept it wholeheartedly as a very real, very special, very vulnerable part of you. I'm honored to see it. When [enfp friend] and I scream at you to embrace the cringe, we don’t mean becoming us. You can stay who you are if you like. But you don’t have to reject it only because you’re afraid that’s how you’re supposed to act and can’t be caught liking it. You don’t have to hold yourself back from joining us and putting your cringe at full display too.  

You already know all this ofc (smort hubby), but nonetheless, perhaps this will help redefine cringe in your mind as something bold, rebellious, maybe even an agent of truth in the sea of rules and conformity. Not as something unacceptable, but as something… harmless, innocuous, merely a threat to the part of you that still cares what people think. 

HA I DID AN UNO REVERSE CARD!! *evil laughs* ok bye