#emblogs

i dated men because i thought they were pretty, and had sex with a couple because i felt like if i didn’t i would be a bad girlfriend.

it took me a LONG ASS TIME to realize that hey! i’m a lesbian, and not bi. and it saddens me that there are those that think that i’m not good enough or pure enough because i’ve been with men, or because i still am aesthetically pleased by men. that they would never be with me because i’ve kissed and slept with men. i’ve actually heard other lesbians say they would break up with their girlfriend if they discovered she was a) bi or b) had been with a man before. doesn’t matter how great the relationship was, that would be the deal breaker.

i’ve been told that i’m not REALLY a lesbian and that i need to tack on a bunch of crap to fully describe my feelings. that’s why i decided to go with queer and then i get yelled at for that!

It's a day where you mourn yourself. You aren't dead, of course. But it feels like maybe a part of you is. The part that could have existed, if you weren't constantly at war with yourself. The part that could have been in those times you couldn't focus, or couldn't get out of bed, or couldn't find joy in life and had to settle for surviving.

Sometimes people talk about mental health issues as though going through it and sticking around is a sign of strength. And on days like today, that feels so hollow it's laughable. As though a rock teetering on the verge of collapse is strong because of the erosion it has endured.