1.Ā āiām so tiredā he tells proko,Ā āwhy must everything be a fucking fight all the time - iām so tired.ā but he ends up reluctantly typing half-hearted answers to the dumb fucking questions for the essays anyway, because itās what proko is doing, and for the first time, kavinsy is faced with the awful reality that if he doesnāt get this right, proko is going to walk away from him, and he will be alone again. this time completely.Ā 2. he gets acceptance letters. a lot of them. more than he expected, though less than proko and jiang. he has choices. he didnāt expect to have choices. but thereās liberal arts programs, and slavonic studies courses that will welcome his fluency in bulgarian, and passable russian with open arms, and a fairly loose art programme that seems particularly impressed with his dragon sketches. proko smiles at him with quiet pride.Ā
3. he has to pull together, and he does. getting that sweet sweet magna cum laude sash on his graduation robes is worth all the effort when he sees the look on ganseyās face. not worth it, huh? he finds to his own surprise that he isnāt bitter at ronan anymore. heāll figure it out. he throws a substance party for graduation, and for the first time, his eyes donāt dance around the fires, looking for a shaved head. proko pecks him on the cheek sweetly, and tells him heās proud. when he gets home, his mom is sober, and her arms shake when she hugs him, but itās fine.Ā 4. he goes to university, and itās hard. he didnāt think it would be, but he did spend most of highschool drugged up or sleeping, so he has no studying habits to speak of, and no idea how to focus in class. he almost fails out on his first semester, but mama kavinsky did not raise a quitter, and by secodn term heās pulled togetherĀ - not getting As or anything, but definitely passing his classes.Ā 5. college parties are fun. college parties involve red cups, and keg stands, and nothing explodes. he thinks he can be okay with that. he makes out with proko on someoneās sofa, and then drinks cheap beer, and doesnāt feel so broken anymore. facebook tells him ronan lynch decided to be a farmer. big whatever, joey thinks, and wonders how gansey is handling the turntables.Ā
