#ellyos rambles

Im so angry, so angry.....I feel like an idiot for having agreed to create art for this person...

I was trying hard not to seem depressed, but my girlfriend has been noticing some signs in me that I didn’t think were obvious. She told me yesterday that she was worried because I’ve been sleeping too much, staying up late, neglecting my personal hygiene, and feeling apathetic. What worried her the most was that I said I really wanted to drink alcohol to feel better, and she was asking me a lot about why I wanted to drink so badly. I just said that I like the feeling of being drunk, and she told me, worriedly, that this isn’t good, that I’ve been acting really strange, and that she wants to see me well and wants to help me.... I really don’t know what’s going on with me, but don’t worry...I’m seeing a psychologist...but I still found myself thinking about it a lot... I think I haven’t tried hard enough....

I will throw myself---

especially when they share the samw interests as me... I get this feeling that Im bothering them or acting weird, aaaaaa, but I just want to be nice and kind to others and show my support too... I think theres anything wrong with that, but I still cant stop thinkin