#ellynasfics

Vallaslins aren't for beauty

I'm 17, and I haven't gotten my vallaslin yet. That's not too bad, very few people have been judged ready this young, anyway. Except Adahlen. He's undergoing the ritual, right now. They waited far too long for him, if you ask me. He's always been ready. Always mature, focused, judicious. And here I am, painting my face as if I were playing with dolls.

I'm 17, and even if they hadn't declined my request for a vallaslin twice already, it wouldn't have mattered. I still don't know what God I should choose for myself. All the other girls and boys in the clan have chosen theirs. Adahlen has been saying he wanted Dirthamen since he was six years old. And here I am, painting June's symbol on my skin only because I think it might look pretty on my features.

I'm 17, and despite it all I can't wait to get my vallaslin, whenever that may be. My mother says I'm a late bloomer. That I just have to be patient and everything will come at the right time. Well, surprise! I'm very bad at waiting. At this very moment my best friend is suffering through one thousand needles to become officially an adult. And here I am, hidden in the dark, because I haven't even had the patience to wait for him outside the Keeper's tent to see what he looks like once the ritual is done. How can they hope I'll have enough patience to wait for my own time to come?

Ayanne x Adahlen (both 20 years old) / 1421 words.

Warning: this gets too sappy because they are. It’s not my fault.

I really add no context here, so if you’d like to know more about them take a look at Ayanne’s backstory and the ship tag. Divider from here.

*** Adahlen (pov) ***

“Can I kiss you?”

We've been sitting under a tree in silence for over half an hour. How can she come up, all of a sudden, with a question like this is beyond me. No wonder I'm obsessed with her.

"You cannot joke on this, Ayanne."

"It's not a joke."

Her eyes shine with resolution, almost affronted. Oh Annie, Annie, Annie… Are you really asking? I was sure this moment would never come. I was ready to watch her from afar for the rest of my life.

"I'm so tired of feeling rejected. I want to be happy, Adahlen", her eyes shine, in the wrong way this time. Her voice breaks a little. "Please, make me happy."

And how can I say no to that.

The moment her mouth is on mine, I'm lost. "Annie…"

I've dreamt ten thousand times about this. She takes my head in her hands, slowly suck on my lips. I've never kissed anyone before. Never wanted anyone but her. She's so soft, it's intoxicating…

I've dreamt ten thousand times about this, yet it's nothing like I've imagined. Suddenly she's everywhere, her tongue slides along my upper lip, inside my mouth, hands in my hair, down my neck, under my collar. "Annie…"

I've dreamt ten thousand times about our first kiss, and it wasn't like this. She licks into my mouth again. "Annie, wait". Deep. It wasn't like this.

"Gods, Annie, slow down, slow down!" She stops. Huge eyes look at me.

"Too much?", she bites her lip. Creators, she's gorgeous.

"Can we slow down?" I'm out of breath. "This is not a first kiss, for the love of the Gods, Ayanne. It's more like, I don't know, the fifth?!"

Do I sound exasperated? I am, a little.

But she laughs. "…the second?"

"Third," I can give her no more than that. It's not like I'm complaining, but, "do you have any idea how long I've waited for this? Kissing you?" I think she does. "Let me… savor it."

"Alright", and she flashes the brightest of smiles, like she doesn't know it makes my heart stop every time. She giggles a sorry, then closes her eyes.

"Give me a true first kiss, then.”

*** Ayanne ***

I wait there, diligently - I can be diligent when I want, if you ask nicely. Eyes closed. Heart thrumming, for some reason. Half of me hopes I haven't ruined this already. The other half is amused, Adahlen is always so dramatic. Especially with me.

I'm still waiting, eyes closed, growing impatient because, hey, where's my kiss?And then it comes. The lightest of touches. His lips barely brush mine, and he stops there, still, for what seems like a whole minute. His breath uneven and soft and warm against my skin. He doesn't move. Time doesn't move. I know I shouldn't, but I take a peek. We're so close, of course we're so close. And he… he looks like he's in heaven.

Then he starts to move. The gentlest of kisses, one after the other, on every inch of my mouth. Slow. Sweet. Oh, so sweet. My heart melts, and I'm floating.

He's still kissing me, and I try to kiss him back but I cannot stop the smile. He clashes against my teeth, mutters a sorry. There's nothing to be sorry about. Is it too much to say this is the best kiss I've ever had? It's so precious. I want it to never end.

When he opens his eyes, he's smiling too, I've never seen him smile this wide, it feels good. And for a while we just stare into each other, our foreheads touching, grinning like two idiots. Or like two lovebirds. Is this the new us?

"Well," he clears his throat, "now you can… you know… resume that aggressive, passionate, languid kiss of yours."

We both burst out laughing. I like the new us. It's still us, but so much better.

"No… You were right, that one must be at least a third kiss, but we're still at the second. Can you kiss me again like you just did, instead?"

Can you kiss me like this for the rest of my life?

*** Adahlen ***

"Do you want to make love?"

What?!

"For Falo’Din’s sake, Ayanne… No??"

I'm not sure how long we've been here, we're like at the sixth kiss, maybe seventh (how do you even count?), and yes, YES, I want to make love to her — may the Dread Wolf take me — but not now? What is wrong with her??? Is something wrong with me?

"You sure?", she grins, "because, you know…", she arches an eyebrow, and looks down. I'm hard, naturally. Gods.

"Of course I'm excited, what did you expect??"

"Well," she shrugs, like she's asking to go have breakfast, "we can do it, if you want."

She smiles, a really sweet one, and just sits there looking at me, half disheveled, hair in disarray, a shoulder peeking out of her tunic. Mythal, save me.

I need to clear my head, stand up, what am I even supposed to say? I try to speak but just gape like an idiot instead.

Breath.

"Here's what we will do." I kneel down again, take her hands in mine. "We stay here for a while, kiss a bit more, then we fall asleep under this oak, with your head on my shoulder and me stroking your hair. And tomorrow we will go on one of our long walks, except it'll be special this time—"

"With so many kisses," she interrupts, makes me chuckle.

"Yes, as many as you want , and—"

"We won't walk much I fear", she interrupts again and I just laugh.

"Let me finish…" I tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. She's so beautiful. "And we will do the same the day after, and the day after that — oh well, we have training on Wednesdays—"

She jumps a little, "We will have to resist not to touch each other at training or the Keeper will be fuuuurious!! …sorry, go on."

"Yes, and… and only when we won't be able to wait anymore, only then, we… ", my voice breaks into an exhale, I can't even say it aloud, "will make love."

If you'll still want me by then.

"Sounds like a date… several dates." She smiles. Leans towards me.

"Yes." I kiss her.

"I like it."

*** Ayanne ***

A week later, we make love.

He's nervous, says he doesn't know where to put his hands. That he wants to make it right, for me — Creators, isn't he sappy — that I'll have to be patient until he learns. He doesn't know all the others didn't know where to put their hands, either. But they didn't care. Nobody really cared before him, I realize it only now. I've been so stupid.

He's nervous, and while he's usually the one who guides between us, I take his role for once. I try to make him laugh, I'm very good at that, because I really need him to relax or I'll get nervous too. It's just sex after all, isn't it? Not for him, I know — my Adahlen, always so dramatic. And for me? With him, I'm not that sure anymore.

We lay there, spent. He's not nervous anymore, now. Says he hopes it was for me at least half as good at it was for him, because that was definitely the best sex he's ever had. Idiot.

"So?", he asks, as soon as he's out of the bliss.

"So what?", I'm playing with his hair, make some little braids. It's relaxing. Intimate. "Oh my, do you really wanna know how it was for me? That's not something you're supposed to ask, Adahlen!"

"Sure it is, how else am I supposed to know?"

I must be glaring at him, because he adds, "Come on, Annie… Please."

I exhale an exaggerated breath. "Well, I…"

I won't tell him for me it was not exactly the best sex I've ever had. I don't really care how it was, we will have plenty of time to learn together and that's the fun part.

I could tell him it was definitely the most beautiful. That I'm not even sure my previous times really count, because this one felt so different.

[previously five sentence Friday but it’s not 5 anymore, nor it is Friday, so…]

I’ve been tagged in various wip moments (thanks @gingervitus @serensama @greypetrel @pixiedurango ) and I’ve ignored them all, but this could definitely fit a mumble Monday, so I scheduled a post on 12:01am waited for that instead :D

"I want someone who cares for you. Who treats you like you're their entire world." "Those are fairytales, Adahlen," she huffs, starting to play with the end of her braid, eyes low and focused on something non-existent. "Is it so bad to love someone only because I like them?" Yes, it is? "Wouldn't it be better to love someone because they understand and support you? Someone with whom you can go on talking forever?" She dismisses me with a scoff and a wave of her hand, amused at my endless naivety is my best guess. "You're the only one who does that for me, Adahlen". And, Gods, the exasperated laugh I tried to choke down. And failed.

268 words | Ayanne & Bellara (also a little ayavrin, a little adahlannie) Read it here or on ao3 | Divider from here

I have a thing for men with an artistic side

Ayanne, 40 years old

Bellara seemed unable to stop the wave of questions. Yes, I was having a fling with Davrin. Yes, he is as confident as he acts. Sure, in bed too. And no, I really don't think he's ever carved a wooden statue of myself. We'd been dating for less than a month, it would be kind of… weird? But flattering nonetheless, I won't hide it.

It wouldn't be the first time I've been a muse to someone, I confessed out loud. My ex was very good with words. He might also have written a poem or two about me. (Or a whole chest full of notebooks — but it didn't seem nice to brag , especially since I'm not exactly supposed to have read them all in the first place).

Maybe it's safe to say I have a thing for men with a strong artistic side.

"And what's your artistic side, Rook?", Bellara asked on the edge of her chair, definitely overestimating me after this little conversation we were having.

"Oh, no no no no no, I have the creativity of an arthropod."

"Oh?" She looked quite confused. "And what is June's vallaslin for, then?"

Ah. Of course.

"I…" I cleared my throat. Who would have said I'd still be embarrassed to talk about this, even at the ripe age of 40. "I just… liked it?"

Bellara giggled. "It's one of my favorite designs too! But how did you convince your Keeper?"

It was impossible to stop the large, fond smile that started to grow on my face at the memory.

I'm writing some drabbles based on these prompts :)

Gabby <333 I know what you were expecting to get, but Ayanne is unpredictable and we love her for that.

Finding the other wearing their clothes

Ayanne, 40 years old

"Hey, isn't that my favorite belt?"

I would recognize it anywhere, I got it with my very first Veil Jumpers outfit, it… represents things, to me. Independece. Rebirth. Not that I would say it aloud. But, well, it's mine.

"Might be…"

Of course Davrin looks gorgeous in it. But it's not reason enough to get it without asking! And, "how does it even fit?"

He shrugs. "I have a very lean waist."

Is he implying mine isn't —

And then he cracks up.

"Strife lent me one of his cause mine broke up. You should see your face!!"

"i'm not accepting criticism, thank you."

"i'd love nothing more than to cook dinner with you."

I swear I didn't do it on purpose, but it's fun that you encouraged this little silly thing and it also happened to match the prompt you sent me!! :D Same prompt asked also by @gingervitus btw <3

1,091 words - Read it here or on ao3 - Divider from here

I'm not accepting criticism, thank you.

Ayanne, 43 years old

And guess who we met while we were waiting in line for a drink.

"You see that guy over there, Davrin?" Adahlen points his chin towards Revassan, who's waving at us from the other side of the food stall with a dumb smile on his face. Probably almost as drunk as we are, judging by how badly he's just lost his balance. He's… an old friend of ours, about our age, we grew up together. 

"That was Ayanne's most questionable boyfriend," he barely manages to finish the sentence while stifling a laugh. 

Ha ha… very funny.

"Do you really have to make a complete list of all my previous flings, Adahlen?", I cross my arms pretending to be offended. Or maybe I really am. "I thought you were better than this."

"No, please, continue," Davrin jumps in while crunching on a piece of hazelnut brittle. My brittle. Hey, when did he get it? "I'm having quite the fun," he states, smirking at me with way too much satisfaction.

Revassan reaches us and greets Adahlen first, with half a bow and a callous hand over his heart. I still have to get used to seeing everyone treat Adahlen with such polite deference; it seems like yesterday when we were all playing hide and seek together covered in mud. Revassan then turns to me, and after a couple of awkward attempts we settle for a big hug and a sloppy kiss on my cheek — Creators, he stinks, how many beers has he had already? As soon as he starts to say that, oh, I'm still so beautiful, I promptly interrupt him and pull Davrin forward by the hand to introduce him. Here's my handsome, young and valorous boyfriend, Revassan! Alright, these were not the exact words I used, but close enough to hope it would kill any further awkward conversation.

"Ah, I've already heard many things about you," Revassan says, shaking Davrin's hand with all his might. He's our clan's blacksmith now, a pretty good one I'd say, but he treats almost everything as if he should smash it.

Dav has no problem matching the shake. "Can't say the same, but I'm trying to catch up".

"Well, let me tell you we've got something in common! I have known", and he wiggles his brows to accentuate the word, "known Ayanne too, for quite long."

Davrin's unimpressed — Creators, I love him — while Adahlen pats Revassan's back a little too enthusiastically to correct him."It's been a while since we were teenagers, Revassan, and it didn't even last that long, come on."

I… clear my throat and look away.

It takes Revassan a handful of seconds to put the pieces together, but then he bursts out laughing loudly. "Oooh, of course not, when we were teens it was just little smoochin', you know," he says, sliding his arm around my shoulder, "it's only later…"

No.

"…that we started to have the real fun!!"

No. 

I elbow him in the flank. Hard.

Adahlen raises a brow. Davrin snaps off another piece of brittle, clearly amused. Revassan leans towards me, with an exaggerated knowing smile.

"Am I right, Ayanne?" 

This isn't happening. Can't a woman have her little guilty secrets and take them to her damned afterlife? "Who doesn't need a little fun here and there, right?", I mutter, more nervously than I intended to. "Now, Revassan, why don't you tell us —"

"What kind of fun, exactly?", Adahlen inquires, while crossing his arms over his chest.

"Oh, you know what kind," Revassan mumbles, trying to find the right words to use in front of his Keeper, "don't let me say things that could embarrass the lady…" And then he raises his arms to put a hand on both Davrin's and Adahlen's shoulders, "After all the three of us belong to the same little club, right?" he suggest, all conspiratorial. Dear Gods, Revassan. "I just used to join in here and there when she needed some, instead of staying for as long as you two, you know…"

I see Adahlen blanch. He looks at Revassan. Then looks at me. Then again at him, and back at me. "Please, tell me I'm getting this wrong."

"Wait, man, you didn't know?"

I give Revassan my most murderous look. "No, he did not!! Didn't we agree to keep this between us?"

"Oh, how would I know?? You two have always been as thick as thieves, you'd even tell each other every time you go take a shit! Of course having a sex buddy wouldn't be such a huge secret?!"

"A sex what?", Adahalen screeched, his eyes basically out of their orbits. "I need a minute."

"Oh, come on man, don't be like that, you knew you weren't her first and only!" Revassan whines, and then turns to me, confused. "…he knew, right?"

Creators, my head hurts. I give Davrin a desperate look, we need to get out of here. Please, save me?

With some terrible excuse, we say goodbye to Revassan and take our leave. As we walk away, we hear him shout after us, "Hey, Keeper Adahlen, don't hate me, okay?"

****

Adahlen's fuming, I know him too well. Now, if it's because I've never told him, or more because he's offended I could agree to go with someone like Revassan for more than once, I still can't tell.

Better I stop him before he starts preaching to me.

"I'm not accepting criticism, thank you," I say, flatly.

He comes to a halt, looks at me in full patronizing mode, opens his mouth to say something, then swallows it down. Shakes his head and starts to walk again. After ten steps, he stops.

"Well, you should!"

"Listen, I'd been alone for eight long years, a woman must blow off steam somehow, can't she?"

Sorry if I hadn't find the second love of my life as fast you did.

"Of course, but why him??"

"Don't ask questions you don't wanna hear the answer to, Adahlen."

He slides his hand down his face and surrenders. I let him go ahead and stay some steps behind. He just needs to digest the information. He always does.

Davrin takes my hand and tugs me a little. "So, that was the friend with benefits you told me about?"

I shrug. "Are you going to question my partner choices, too?"

That takes a laugh out of him. "I couldn't care less! But finally I understand why you once said your clan's blacksmith is so so very good with his hands!"

Ayanne&Adahlen / 2406 words

You've seen them going from friends to lovers, now it's time for the "lovers to friends" bit :') A series of letter exchange between Ayanne and Adahlen during the events of the game.

Read it on ao3!

End of summer

Ayanne & Adahlen, 17 years old / 3,916 words of delicious unrequited love

"Oh Adahlen, Adahlen!!" She twirls around, arms wide open, braid flying in the air, then takes my hands in hers. "I have the biggest crush!", she beams as a child who has just found an extra slice of blueberry tart. "Who is it this time?", I sigh unimpressed, eyes rolling up, while I move a branch out of the way to make her pass. We have this kind of conversation every other month.