#ellel

At Jack's today: various flavors of Sparking ICE vitamin-enriched water, including Kiwi Strawberry, Orange Mango, and Black Raspberry.

This isn't the first time these have shown up in the store -- I recall seeing them at least a few times last year -- but this time, Jack's is really pushing them, with posters in the window and a cardboard display at the entrance.

"Bold taste. Bold moves," is the message.

I failed to recognize the vaguely basketball-player-lookin' dude on the posters, and doubted such a little-known brand (the charmingly named "Talking Rain," I later learned) could afford a real player, let alone a star; but as it turns out, he is an actual player -- namely, Kevin Durant of the Oklahoma City Thunder. And according to BevNet, he's not only product pitchman, but a "brand ambassador" and partner. What's more, Wikipedia tells me he was 2014 NBA Most Valuable Player. Huh.

Still, it strikes me as a questionable campaign. Can sparkling water even be "bold"? And more importantly: do people want sparkling water to be "bold"?

I picked up three flavors: Peach Nectarine, Pink Grapefruit, and Black Raspberry. I'd have passed them around the office for a range of reactions, as before, but with the wind-chill below zero today (bold, as it were), the office has been pretty empty. So, I'll be taking this assignment on single-handedly.

One good thing about Talking Rain's dubious claim to boldness: it gives me an opportunity to post this video from Mystery Science Theater 3000:

Now, like Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank, I'm left with the question: Is it, in fact, bold?

Let's go flavor-by-flavor:

Black Raspberry: Well, hmmm. For something called "Mountain Spring Water," you'd have to say that...yes, yes it is pretty bold. Far more reminiscent of Raspberry Dr. Brown's than raspberry seltzer or raspberry ginger ale. Really, not bad.

Pink Grapefruit: I'm less sure about the boldness of this one. It's tart. It's acidic. I'd rather not keep comparing these to other brands, but if someone handed me a cup of this, I'd have assumed it was Fresca. Which is fine -- Fresca is fine. (I once drank a whole 2-liter of the stuff, after getting back from the gym. That might be too much Fresca.) But, is Fresca bold? I'm not sure.

Peach Nectarine: I'm really at a loss as to how to describe this one, in part because it's the first "Peach Nectarine" anything I can recall having tried. It's good, though -- possibly my favorite of the three. Not necessarily bold, mind you, but tasty and peachy -- even "nectariney," as Pee-wee Herman might say.

Now: the bold, hard facts (oh, yes I did):

Sparkling ICE: Naturally Flavored Sparkling Mountain Spring Water (various flavors) Size: 17 oz. (502.8 mL) Price: $1.29

Worth Every Penny?: Absolutely.

Addendum: Five minutes after I finished this, I realized Ellel had shown up while I was at Jack's -- and, believe it or not, she's apparently Talking Rain's biggest customer, as she was readily able to list all the flavors.

"My favorite is the grapefruit," she said. "Very refreshing. I'm not a big carbonated-beverage drinker, but because the bubbles are so fine, I don't mind it. And it doesn't make me burp."

I asked her if she thought it was "bold."

"I would never have used that word for it. But it's definitely flavorful."

"My cousin in Pittsburgh buys it by the case, and leaves it outside by the kitchen. When I'm visiting, I can always sneak a bottle or two. It's really good with a little bit of pomegranate liqueur."

On sale at Jack’s this week: Annie’s Sour Cream & Onion Bunnies. They're organic! They're all-natural! They have no GMOs! “If it’s not real, it’s not Annie’s,” says the website, and I have no truly compelling reason to doubt them.

I passed the bag around the office, and received mostly positive reviews.

"How cute!" said one co-worker, who asked to be identified as Stargazer95. "Cute little bunnies!"

Given her pseudonym, I was not exactly shocked at this level of bun-thusiasm.

"Reminds me of sour cream potato chips," she added.

Another co-worker, “Ellel,” was decidedly less cooperative:

"I’m eating chocolate, so I can’t," she said.

Her tone then turned wistful: "A childhood favorite: Sno-Caps. They’re Nonpareils." (Later, I looked up Nonpareil: “Having no equal; peerless.”)

Even less helpful: “I also like Jujubees. When I was a kid, I used to stick them on my eyeteeth.”

Hmmm...Jujubees...

(Ahem.)

A third co-worker, “J.G.,” agreed with Stargazer that the bunnies were reminiscent of sour cream and onion potato chips -- adding, “There does seem to be a little salt in there, to encourage you to keep going.” (It worked!)

Finally, Sebastian W. (a visitor to the office), thought they were “pretty good.” But: “I could take a little bit more of the sour cream, the flavor."

Fair enough. It may be worth noting, though, that none of my participants had even close to a full serving, so we're really only dealing with initial reactions. Could be, for serious snacking (yes, I just used the phrase "serious snacking"), the flavor would be sufficient.

Me? I thought they were fine. And, to be honest, the main reason I bought them was that I wanted an excuse to post an image of Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, in her "frightening" bunny costume:

Done!

Now, then: What's It Doing at Jack's?

Good question. My only guess is that Annie's backed away from plans to move into the bagged-snack market-space (all the images I found for "annie's bunnies sour cream" are of boxes), and were left with stock they then had to unload. Who knows?

Anyway! Let's break it down!

Annie’s Sour Cream & Onion Bunnies Size: 16 oz. (170g) Price: $1.59

Hello lovely,

It's here in the ask box! We'll grab it when we can, we're just a bit behind at the moment, sorry. Thank you for your patience!