#elizer able

The whispers had always been there. Elizer always knew he was born something different, but he had always assumed it was just because he was a changeling. For so long he didn’t even realize the whispers of shadow and endless depth were something beyond him. He figured that’s just how it was for everyone, even as the murmurs built up and grew louder.

It wasn’t until he was in jail that he started to actually listen to them. He had nobody else to talk to, and though they didn’t really answer any of his thoughts and questions, he could at least pretend they had conversations. They talked about the vastness of the Shadowfell, the empty and uncaring world that fueled him. They talked about the power of his connection, the strength he could draw from it.

Even at a young age, Elizer was interested in magic, but his family was of thieves and there was little use for that save for disguises and distractions. As a changeling, Elizer could disguise himself seamlessly and without any spell casting. Distractions were just as easily caused by non magical means, so, in both cases, his parents didn’t seem to find the need to indulge in his magic fascination.

Now, alone and left behind, Elizer had the opportunity to understand exactly what the buzzes were telling him. As he sat in his cell, he concentrated on what they had to say and teach him. They built on each other, and he began testing what information he had been given. He found he could light the torches on the walls outside his cell, prestidigitaion the mutters called it. He slowly learned more and more, practicing in secret with the whispers as his guide.

The more Elizer learned, the slower his heart began to beat, and the colder his skin had become. He didn’t realize this, it was such a slow process that it didn’t even occur to him. It wasn’t until a fight broke out in the jail, and he was grabbed by the neck by one of his usual aggressors, but instantly dropped. He was ice cold, and the shock of touching a living thing that wasn’t warm startled the criminal enough to release him and shout out the fact. It was then Elizer realized he couldn’t actually remember the last time he felt warm.

Discovering the speed of his heart beat came later. A late night, later than it should have been, wore him down. He was growing tired from his practice, and was debating sleeping. Then, his heart beat. The sensation was so foriegn in that moment that it startled Elizer, and he jolted to alertness. What had happened? Did his heart beat extra hard? Curious, and a bit worried, he placed a hand on his chest and waited, but there was no pulse. Anxiety started to rise through him, until a minute later he felt it beneath his palm, a soft beat. His heart was still pumping, just, slowly. He hadn’t actually felt any different than normal, despite this, and though cautiously, he decided he would be okay. His heart would continue to startle him occasionally, but, he wasn’t dying. As the whispers later told him, the thinning of his connection to life was a sign of a strengthening of his connection to the Shadowfell.

His power and knowledge grew, and then the day came that he was released. He was a changed person now, in more ways than one. Elizer was ready to live his life as the new person he had built himself up to be.

---

Knox had never heard Elizer’s voice. Not his real one. Elizer always used the voices of the people he appeared as, being a changeling allowed Elizer to disguise himself perfectly. He had only once seen Elizer’s true form, and despite his requests to see it again, Elizer’s own shape remained constantly hidden. The only thing Elizer couldn’t hide was his scent. Knox was particularly glad of his enhanced sense of smell, as it meant he could always enjoy that one true part of Elizer. This was one of the occasions where Knox was glad for his werewolf blood. Still, Knox wanted to see and hear an authentic Elizer.

It bothered Knox to a point. If Elizer was hiding those things, even in private, then he didn’t trust Knox with himself. It meant that he felt the need to hide from him, despite everything they had gone through, and that was upsetting. Knox had full trust in Elizer, and though he knew Elizer found trust very difficult, Knox wanted to be trusted back. It was one night after they had gone to their room at an old inn that Knox brought this up.

Elizer never felt he belonged anywhere, even before his parents left him to rot in prison. They always had him look and act like someone else, for the sake of the job, always for the job. Once he was released, he felt even more like he had no home, no purpose, no place. A misfit, even in his own body, another thing he felt he had no claim over. His parents had groomed him to be a thief, and once he denounced that he had only one thing he felt he could actually claim as his own.

His connection to the Shadowfell, the source of his magic. A gift given to him in birth that hadn’t been tainted by his family or past. He had fostered it on his own terms, with his own ability, it was something completely his own and he vowed to never let anyone take it from him. He promised himself he would keep his magic close, as it was the one thing he could consider completely his own.

Things changed only slightly after meeting Knox. As they spent more time together, as a couple, Elizer slowly began to reclaim bits of himself. Knox constantly assured him that he was genuinely worthy of love, the real him, beneath the other forms. Change was slow, but it did happen. Eventually, Elizer began to speak using his own voice, no matter what form he took. It was the one part of him he felt he could tolerate the most, even if his physical form was still difficult for him to come to terms with.

Even when the two were ripped apart, leaving Elizer to assume the worst, Elizer did his best to accept himself. He continued to use his own voice, the act gently reminding him of the kindness Knox showed him for so many years. He continued to try and remember every word of love Knox shared with him, every murmur, every whisper, after all, that’s all he had left.