Ugh one thing I'm starting to struggle with as an aroace person is that I crave and want (non sexual) physical intimacy, but strictly platonic relationships don't tend to be open to that. And since finding a queer platonic partner is nigh impossible, I just get stuck with needs that are impossible to fulfill. Which are also amplified from being generally touch starved now that I live alone. How is an aroace person supposed to survive in this kind of society *sigh*
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We're back in business! I finally increased my dose since my levels were so low for a while, so now I'm on a 3/4 of a normal dose. And it has definitely kickstarted things again. It's like puberty was on pause for a few months and now I clicked the play button again xD So here's how that went:
Shark week still around, but it was a couple days late
Hair has been slowly increasing everywhere, but this month I noticed properly how much it has increased on my forearms and spread down to my hands
The peach fuzz on my face has grown denser and longer, it's starting to feel like I wanna shave it all off. Especially in the sideburns area it's so much longer and darkening
I guess my eyebrows have probably gotten thicker/bushier too, but they were already thick before so it's not something I've noticed. However this week I've noticed quite a few hairs growing between my eyebrows. Not anywhere near a monobrow situation but it was still like, well hello there, is this where you'd like to grow now xD Makes me really curious tho, like do my dad and brother also get that, and I just never noticed bc you gotta be quite close to see? Or do they not get it all? Or do they shave it away?
Voice has dropped a tiny bit, still kinda fluctuates up and down from day to day, but I can consistently force it like one note lower than last month. I seem to have more control when singing so I've really enjoyed singing christmas songs, the way it sounds now makes me happy c:
All the fun puberty things are back again, more hunger, more libido and more pimples, especially on my face. But they're not any stronger than they were in earlier months, so nothing crazy
I tried on a bunch of old t-shirts to see if they fit me now that I'm post op, and I discovered something else unexpected. They didn't fit anymore, not because of my chest but because my shoulders have grown wider! I hadn't even noticed that one, but after seeing how tight and uncomfy my old shirts were I payed more attention and saw that I actually fill out my fancy shirts better now. The shirts from the male section have always been a tiny bit too broad over the shoulders, like you can see the seam didn't sit entirely where it should on me, but now they do! Wild!
I've noticed one of my actually recurring problems as an autistic is that things I say are often read as sarcastic or judgmental when it's neither. Or that when I ask about things it's also interpreted as me judging/challenging/pressuring someone when all I'm trying to do is get more info so I can understand the situation. Truly bane of my existence
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A whole month of recovery whooo! Gonna share a bit of how it went down below:
Week 2
I stopped all meds at this point, even painkillers were unnecessary
I started sleeping flat on my back now, no longer elevated
Felt muuuch better after stopping the antibiotics I was allergic to, could actually sleep now
Day 14 as I went to shower I had a bit of a nipple disaster. My bandages had slid down in the night and the tape got stuck to my nipples. Gently removing it did not work and it came all the way off in the shower, ripping off a good chunk of scab with it. Like half the nipple scab got removed and it was bleeding, it looked like the actual nipple bud got ripped away as well. I panicked but the clinic said it was fine
Week 3
The nipples slowly healed from the disaster, most of the wound got covered by a new scab, there were some issues with the wound getting stuck to the gauze but it wasn't too bad
I started getting back my range of motion and had so little discomfort at moving that I had to be very conscious of nor strecthing too far or lifting too heavy
The only pain I felt at this point was the occasional tug if I went too far or an occasional ache from healing
At the end of week 3 the big insicions had almost healed, only the corners that I end up moving the most when I stretch too far were still stubbornly bleeding a bit
Week 4
I started working this week, it was super rough at first. Mostly I was exhausted but it was also tough to do my work with all my limitations
The incisions healed all the way now, some scabs left here and there but no bleeding anymore
The nipple scabs started kinda shrinking back on the right side, revealing what looks like pink areola underneath, it feels like it will fall off soon ish
I was able to strech even further without discomfort
The swelling was almost all the way gone, just some minor swelling left
Was starting to be able to lie on my side more and more and at the end of the week I could kinda sleep on my side in short intervals
At the end of week 4 I started wearing my binder only half of the day
