#eleventh x reader

Initially, you believed that whenever you next heard the sound of the TARDIS landing, you’d be ecstatic.

You’d expected to go running into the Doctor’s arms, swept away on some adventure or another that you’d remember forever. You pictured yourself content and excited and happy.

But that was then, and time had passed.

The last time the Doctor had dropped you off had been three years ago now. The man you loved had dropped you off to take Amy and Rory away somewhere ‘just for them’ for a day... But three years had gone by with no sign of them returning.

You’d spent at least the first six months locked away in your room, wallowing and crying in fear that he didn’t want to see you again.

But now that so much time had passed, you’d become too furious with the Doctor to want to see him again either. How could he just leave you here, forgetting about you entirely?

He’d told you he loved you -- had that truly meant nothing?

You were currently curled up on your sofa, a pot of ice cream in your hands and surrounded by a bundle of blankets. Your hair was unkempt, your loungewear the same you’d been wearing for a good few days now. Truth be told, you were in a mess.

Despite your infuriation, you’d never quite managed to fall out of love with the Doctor. That madman in the police box who’d whisked you away to places you’d never even imagined. He’d been your world, your safe place, and yet he’d been your breaking point too that moment he left you.

Right now you were reeling from yet another unsuccessful attempt at moving on. Another unsuccessful blind date, another failure to feel anything but apathy for any man who wasn’t the Doctor. Your Doctor. Why couldn’t you just move on?

And so when the TARDIS engine sounded, materialising right in front of you in your very living room, the fury coursing through your every vein was almost unbearable. Tugging your blankets tighter around your frame, you pretended to be unaware of the giant blue box blocking your view of another romantic comedy that only fuelled your sadness.

“Y/N!”

The sound of his voice sent chills rippling through your body, but you didn’t dare look up. It would be real then, you’d have to face the fact that he’d left you but all of a sudden was back.

“Oh Y/N! What’s the matter sweetheart?” he ambled towards you, pushing the blanket fortress you’d assembled out of his way. His head cocked to the side confusedly -- you’d changed. A lot. Had he gotten his timing wrong again?

The word sweetheart made butterflies flit in your stomach, but it was bittersweet to hear it again from his lips, and so all you could bring yourself to do was scoff.

His fingers reached up for a strand of your hair -- you’d dyed it in a feeble attempt to stop recognising yourself the way you did when you were with him -- twirling it around his finger as he tried desperately to make you meet his gaze.

“How long has it been?” his voice was barely above a whisper as he knew your answer couldn’t be good.

“Three years.”

Your words dripped with venom, your eyes harsh and your face set in a scowl as you finally made eye contact with him.

The Doctor felt his world shatter around him at that, the very fact that he’d let you down -- the most important person in his life and he’d let you down.

“Oh darling I’m so sorry,” he cooed, cupping your face in his palms and lowering his head to be closer to yours, “I promise that wasn’t ever my intention. It’s been a day... well, a week... but it was only because things got a bit hectic. I came straight back as soon as I could. You didn’t think I’d abandon you?”

You drew in a sharp breath, struggling to fathom the words to tell him just how you felt. Honestly, a small part of you was still ridiculously happy to see him again, especially knowing he’d never intended to leave you for so long. But he had, he had been gone so long, and you weren’t sure you could forgive that.

“Three years,” you repeated, as though trying to come to terms with it all over again yourself, “Three years without you, Doctor.”

He pulled you to his chest, almost knocking your ice cream from your hands as he did so with such urgency. He kissed the top of your head, your stomach doing flips as you felt so close to him again. But you were still fuming, and you couldn’t let it go.

“I’d never have left you alone for so long, Y/N. You know I’d never do that, surely.” he frowned.

“I thought I did,” you mumbled, before clearing your throat to speak more confidently. “I thought I knew. But it’s been three years, Doctor. Things change. I’ve changed. I’m not the naive girl you left in this room, struggling while you fawned over Rory and Amy.”

“What do you mean?”

“Even after you told me you loved me, Rory and Amy always seemed to come first. I feared being second -- well third -- best and then you unintentionally made that clear anyway.”

“Y/N, I love you, you know that,” he soothed, hands caressing your hair as he held you close, “I’ve thought about you every minute I’ve been gone.”

You shook your head, “That’s the problem, Doctor. So have I.”

There was silence for a moment, both of you too consumed with sadness to say anything. He couldn’t stand the notion of quite how badly he’d hurt you, and you couldn’t stand that though you were still angry and upset, you were relieved to be in his arms again, held by the man you adored.

“I-- three years,” he uttered, more to himself, still shocked, “I’m so sorry, Y/N. I know I’ll never be able to make up that time, but I want to try. I’ll never leave you behind again, darling. I can’t live without you.”

“I’ve had to learn to live without you, Doctor. I spent so long believing that it had been an accident but even now that I know that’s true it hurts. I love you, I’ll never be able to stop loving you, but I’m just-- this is so difficult.” you fought back tears.

The Doctor pressed a soft kiss to your temple, “I’ll never let anything like this happen again, Y/N. I promise. I’ll never let you out of my sight I’l--” 

You shook your head, pulling back a little to stare deeply into his eyes, mesmerised as always by their emerald twinkle, “I’ve tried so hard to forget you Doctor. And I never could. But I-- It’s made me realise that people spend their entire lives at your side and it’ll always mean more to us than it does to you.”

“That’s not true, Y/N. Not one person who I have travelled with has ever been unimportant to me, I’ve cared about every single one of them, always.” his voice was stern now, and you could tell you had hit a nerve, “And it’s different with you, Y/N. Everything is different with you. In hundreds of years I’ve never cared about anyone like I care about you. I’ve never loved anyone like I love you.”

You gulped, “But that’s the point -- you’ve had hundreds of years to try, to explore and to find someone. I only get one short silly little human lifetime, Doctor. It terrifies me that I know I’ll never love anyone like I love you, you’re the love of my life. But I’ll be like a... like a blip in your timeline when I’m gone.”

“Never,” He clutched your balled fists, pulling them to his lips and kissing the backs of them gently, “Everyone has a lasting impression on me, everyone matters. But you... Y/N, you’re absolutely everything to me. You say I’m the love of your life like that doesn’t matter to me. You’re the love of my life, darling. Surely you understand that.”

His words weighed heavy on your shoulders as you tried to digest them, even heavier as you tried to understand them.

“The love of your life?”

“Of course. The love of my life.”

“Oh.”

He laughed, capturing your face in his palms and pulling you towards him to kiss you. His lips were soft and warm, just as you remembered them, and you couldn’t help but melt immediately into the kiss as you felt all of your anger dissipate.

That was the thing, no matter how much he’d unintentionally hurt you, everything felt okay with the Doctor. No matter what, the Doctor’s very presence had always been enough for you. You were just grateful to have him back.

“I love you, Doctor. Please don’t leave me behind again.” your voice cracked.

“Never, Y/N,” he kissed the corner of your lips again gently, “I love you too, more than you’ll ever know.”

You suddenly felt conscious of your current outfit, your loungewear and messy hair glaringly embarrassing to you despite the fact that the Doctor wasn’t remotely phased by it.

“I-- uh,” you began nervously, “I would say where shall we go but, well I look like this...” the Doctor furrowed his brows as you blushed, before rolling his eyes as you continued, “But I just want to spend time with you anyway. Movie night? Like old times?”

“Absolutely, sweetheart. Absolutely.”

-------

eeee i hope you enjoyed this! sorry if it wasn’t amazing, i lost track partway through and tried my hardest to finish it... let me know what you thought. now that i’m back, requests are back open and my (updated) prompt list is here if you’d like ideas. also, my masterlist is here if you’d like to take a look!

Closing your eyes for a moment, you reveled in the unusual silence surrounding you. You and the Doctor had taken a day off from travelling, with the TARDIS parked in your living room and the pair of you preoccupied with different things.

The Doctor, as ever, was tinkering with the controls of the TARDIS, trying to fix something or other of which you knew nothing. Deciding to leave him to it, you were now basking in the peace and quiet of your bedroom - the one on the TARDIS, of course, given that it had an extensive library - reading a novel you’d been itching to start for weeks.

Before you knew it, however, you were no longer alone.

“Do you want to go for a walk, Y/N? Weather on earth is pretty good today... especially considering we’re in Cardiff, 2020.” the Doctor mused, throwing your bedroom door open as if the intrusion was entirely normal.

You sighed, rolling onto your front and propping yourself up on your elbows, “When will you learn to knock?” you grumbled, half joking as you noticed the smile on the Doctor’s face. 

He paused for a moment, as though he was pondering your question, and took a few steps closer to your bed, the door slamming closed behind him, “When you learn that there’s too much to see to spend so much time in your room, love.”

You poked your tongue out, sitting up completely now as he neared you. 

“It’s our day off, Doctor,” you licked your lips, “I’m reading. Relaxing; something you should learn to do.”

“Valid point, Y/N, valid point,” he mused for a moment, hand pushing his floppy hair out of the way as he eyed you curiously, “But don’t you want to do something together? We could play a game or-- or something?”

You couldn’t help the smile creeping onto your face at his offer, the notion of him being so excited to spend quality time with you overwhelming. You were so rarely alone like this, constantly either accompanied by other companions or friends of the Doctor, or those you met on your travels, and to see the Doctor so desperate to spend time with you alone made you beam with joy.

“What do you suggest we do, spaceman?” you teased, biting your lip and running your hand down his arm as you stood up to get closer to him.

“That’s entirely up to you,” the Doctor beamed, eyes twinkling at the growing smile on your face, “We could watch a movie, if you’d like?”

He had taken notice of your t-shirt and joggers, clocking the notion that in such comfortable clothes you had no inclination to do anything too taxing. As you’d so strongly reminded him all week, it was to be a day off. A day to relax and recharge, not spend time running around keeping too busy.

“We could,” you mused, collecting your television remote from your bedside cabinet and twirling back to slump down on your bed, “...Do you have any snacks, by any chance?”

The Doctor scoffed, “Of course I do, Y/N,” he left your room for a moment, returning with snacks galore and throwing himself down on the bed beside you. He picked up the book you’d been reading -- one of your favourite novels -- and eyed it curiously as you worked the television and opened Netflix.

“Do you have any idea what we should watch?” you asked, scrolling through potential films and TV shows but finding that nothing caught your eye.

The Doctor tilted his head in thought for a moment, “Something romantic, maybe? You’re always watching those romantic comedies. Personally I think they’re silly... too, well, romantic... but you do enjoy them, I suppose.”

“We don’t have to, Doctor, it’s okay,” you laughed, acutely aware of the way he was leaning into your side and staring at you so intently, “I know you’re not a rom-com person.”

“Are you implying I’m never romantic, Y/L/N?” he teased, eyebrow raised and a smirk quirking at his lip, “Because I can too be romantic.” 

You felt butterflies swarm your stomach at this, because even though you’d never discussed your feelings, you knew that the mutual attraction between you was strong and hoped that this was his way of igniting more attention towards it.

“Well why would you be, Doctor?” you drawled, half in an attempt to be seductive and half in genuine curiosity, “Who would you need to be romantic for?”

You noticed him panic momentarily, no longer the cocky and confident Doctor you were so used to. He looked nervous, in fact, and you couldn’t help the smirk that spread on your lips at the notion of you making him nervous.

“Maybe there’s somebody who, if they’d like, I’d-I’d like to be romantic for,” he stumbled over his words, brows knitted together as he tried to decipher whether or not his words were making sense, “What I mean is... if you’d like, I can be more romantic.”

Your smile widened only further at this, and without another word you clambered into his lap and pressed a forceful kiss to his lips, which he returned within seconds despite being startled, his hands curling around your waist almost instinctively, as though this happened all the time.

“I don’t need you to be romantic, Doctor,” you kissed the corner of his mouth softly, “I just needed to know you feel the same. And I guess I do, now.”

“Yeah, I guess you do.”

You shared another kiss, before shuffling into a more comfortable position so that you were laying on his chest and his arms were enveloping your frame. You were content, here in his arms, deciding that today really had been the perfect day off.

“By the way,” you smirked, looking up at him and admiring his gleeful expression, “You don’t need to learn to knock if it means it’ll end like this.”

“Noted, Y/N. Noted.”

--------

thank you as always for reading, i hope you enjoyed! keep the requests coming if you’d like, i’m usually more inspired when i’ve got multiple ideas to bounce off each other! thank you for this request as it was requested twice with eleventh, i enjoyed writing this :-) sorry it’s not super long!

Leaving the Doctor had been the hardest thing you’d ever done. As much as you hadn’t wanted to leave his side, though, you had too much going on at home to leave behind for good.

You’d been part way through a university degree and, though you loved being at the Doctor’s side in the TARDIS, you were studying a subject that you were passionate about and you couldn’t give up your dreams entirely. You’d worked far too hard for that.

The Doctor had understood when you left, even though it tore him to shreds inside to lose you. He’d taken you on one final trip, then dropped you off at home with a difficult goodbye; a goodbye far less affectionate than either of you desired, because you knew that would only make things worse.

“Can I sit here?” 

The voice startled you out of your trance, your eyes snapping up to a brunette man in a tweed coat and bow tie, a kind smile on his face as he gestured to the space on the bench beside you. 

“Oh, of course,” you smiled, moving your bag out of the way as he watched you attentively before sitting down, “Sorry, just lost in my thoughts.”

“Need an ear?” he asked, his green eyes twinkling with a familiarity that you couldn’t quite place, “You’ll find I’m rather a good listener.”

You sighed, fingers running along the splintering wood of the bench on which you sat as you pondered his offer. You’d not sat on this bench with company in almost three years; not since the Doctor would sit here at your side as you revised for your university exams.

You spent only a year and a half travelling with him, on and off, but in that time you’d fallen in love with the madman who showed you the stars. And so, as painful as it was, you often sat here on this bench and thought about your time at his side with longing. 

If only you knew how often he came here too; how often he stood sadly watching you from afar, craving your company just as you craved his but fearing that he would always pick the wrong moment.

But something about today had made him certain he couldn’t wait any longer. The TARDIS had brought him here at her own will, and he couldn’t deny that waiting to speak to you again was slowly tearing him apart even more than the first moment you left him had.

And so, with a new face that you wouldn’t yet recognise, here he was.

You had missed him dearly. You had since the very moment you had left. 

You’d achieved your university degree with flying colours, you’d furthered your studies, and now you wondered whether it had been worth sacrificing adventures with the man that you loved. You were content with your life, but you weren’t excited by it anymore. And you knew that the Doctor was exactly what was missing from it.

“Just missing someone, that’s all really,” you frowned as you found yourself comforted by the eyes of this mystery man, “Someone I never got to tell that I loved them because I left it too late.”

The man at your side pouted sympathetically, but a small smile still tugged at his lips as he processed what you had said, “You miss them, yes?” 

“More than anything.”

“How long has it been?”

You were trying hard to prevent yourself from crying now, having never actively spoken to anyone about this before. You’d always had the Doctor to talk about your adventures to, and Rose too. Now, you had this man you didn’t know but were strangely magnetised to all the same.

“Almost three years, now, roughly,” you twiddled your thumbs nervously, avoiding his gaze even though it was strangely comforting, “It’s my fault I don’t see him anymore, but I love him and I wish that things had gone differently. At the very least I wish I’d told him how I felt before it was too late.”

“He knows,” the stranger smiled, pushing a hand through his hair and inching ever so slightly closer to you.

You eyed him, perplexed, but made no effort to move away from him again. Something in his eyes, those kind eyes you’d been so suddenly and intensely drawn to, told you that he was right. He knew.

“I’d just do anything to tell him that, though.”

“And what makes you so certain you can’t?”

You furrowed your eyebrows, confusion sweeping over your face as amusement swept over his. He was waiting for the penny to drop, waiting to see the moment that you realised it was him. Your Doctor. 

You rubbed a hand across your face as you tried to comprehend your thoughts, dancing around the idea of being reunited with the Doctor, “I’ve always just assumed I’d never see him again. He has so much more than me to worry about, he’ll be busy and... well I just hope he isn’t lonely.”

“Y/N...”

“Besides,” you began to ramble, oblivious to hearing your name despite never telling him it, “He’ll have a new face now, new adventures, new friends.”

“--Y/N.”

“I’m probably just a fragment of a memory now, a past friend not worth remembering. I loved him so much and yet--"

“I love you, Y/N.”

Suddenly it clicked in your head and you jerked to the side entirely to face him now, knees colliding with his as you watched the knowing smile grow larger on his face, “Doctor?”

“It’s me, Y/N. I was always going to come back for you, but I needed to give you the space you needed first,” he placed a hand cautiously on your knee and you felt a tingle run through your spine, “Besides... new face, eh, getting used to it also meant worrying about scaring you off.”

You laughed, disguising a sniffle that escaped as you felt on the brink of tears. He was back. Your Doctor, the love of your life, and he loved you too. Not to mention, his new face was equally as gorgeous as his last and you couldn’t help the desire to just grab his face and kiss him.

You threw your arms around him, kissing his cheek as he melted into your touch, wrapping his arms around you too, “You’re not disappointed, then?”

“Shut up and kiss me, spaceman. We’ve got a hell of a lot to catch up on, but for now I’ve just got you back and I’d like to kiss you, okay?”

“No complaints here,” He smirked, adjusting his bow tie and cupping your face in his palms, rubbing his thumb over your cheekbones daintily to wipe away the few tears that had escaped.

You leaned up to kiss him softly, a gentle and delicate kiss as though you feared he may disappear at any moment under your touch, “I love you, Doctor.”

“I love you too,” he whispered, “Always have, always will.”

----------

okay i am v v v deep in my eleventh doctor feels right now and so... this happened. i hope you enjoyed and i apologise for the constant sappy fluff, i am one giant ball of emotion at the moment and, where eleventh is concerned, this tends to come out even stronger than usual hahahah.

anyway, hope you enjoyed - requests are still open so feel free to send a request in for whoever you’d like to read about. if you can’t think of any specific plots but want to read about someone specific, here is my prompt list for inspiration. and for now, here is my masterlist!