elementary sentence starters
"I always imagined you have a secret lair beneath a volcano for such an occasion." "There is only one thing that can guarantee peace -- your head on a pike. Hypothetically speaking, of course." "I've seen subtler displays of insensitivity. Do you attend the wakes of all your victims?" "Well, lack of imagination is an occupational hazard for an apex predator." "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say. And I've known you for a long time." "What does Buddhism have to do with erectile dysfunction?" "I don't know what's weirder … that I'm spending my Friday night with you or the Stanley freaking Cup." "The great love of my life is a homicidal maniac. No one's perfect." "You think you broke us up with the power of your mind?" "I have what some might call a strong personality." "After many, many hours, I've come to most wretched of realizations. One that might curdle your very blood. You are my friend." “You're bad at this, ______. You're exceptionally bad.” “So now you have to have brain damage to want a baby?” “That's the sex blanket.” “I'm not easily surprised but I do confess that I wasn't expecting this.” “I think this is the Olympics of self-pity.” “Imagine sitting for a portrait today. Hubris practically leaks off the canvas.” “Meeting the parents. That's an important milestone in the romantic passion play.” “Do you know what I haven't said to anyone in a long time? I love you.” “You hurt yourself. Someone hurt me. You don't know anything about how I'm feeling.” “I have allowed empathetic thoughts to clutter my mind and reduce my perception.” “You know better than to ask me a non-specific question.” “I abhor the dull routine of existence.” “You engaged in horizontal refreshment with ( them/______ ).” “You are something of a romantic terrorist.” “_____ seems adequately sexed.” “So, I walked all the way to the eastern edge of the property, and I did not find a thing. No dead bodies, no secret hideouts, no smoke monster. There's plenty of mud, though.” “I'm quite certain they were staging a fake murder when they fell victim to two real ones.” “So they didn't commit a murder so much as provide you with a murder-tunity.” “You named your killer robot 'Gus'?” “So, your alibi is that you were oiling your chainsaw.” “We really are living in a golden age for perverts.” “Oh, and if you have any lingering doubts, here's how you can be certain I'm not the one who tried to kill you -- you're alive!” “I was mistaken. You don't know what my partner looks like naked.” “You do realize that pink coconuts do not occur in nature?” “Are you cooking, or did we get stampeded by a class of second graders?”
