#electionthoughts

I really just need a space to vent my feelings.

*This is also one of the rare occasions when I make any political comment.*

I'm scared. Four years ago I had such optimism, I truly thought we were getting our first woman president. It seemed we were on the verge of making a change. Instead, that night things went so wrong. I am still heartbroken. Not just because of who lost but what the "win" represented. It felt as though it didn't matter all the things that had been said and done about/to women. To be told that was acceptable continues to make me feel disrespected as a woman. For the record, my issue truly isn't that the opposite party won, but with the individual. I'm aware sometimes your candidate doesn't win. Had it been any of the other candidates from that party I sincerely could have lived with it.

We ended up with a situation that has caused constant anxiety and fear. We've seen some of the worst in terms of how we treat each other. Disagreements are going to happen but can't we be civil? Kind? Or behave like an adult? Could we perhaps not base arguments on people's outward appearance?

So back to my first statement. I'm scared. Will another four years happen? I want to be optimistic but I can't forget what happened four years ago. Won't lie, there's been a few tears today. Since we don't know when we'll know the final result that makes it all the more nervewracking. All I know is I don't want to continue in this situation. I'll finish my cup of coffee in my Biden-Harris mug and hope for the best.

*) The World's Largest Democracy Gears Up For The Biggest Festival In Five Years

*) Lok Sabha Polls Will Be Held Over 6 Weeks In 7 Phases

*) Beginning Yesterday 11 April 2019, 7- Phase Polling Will Go On Till May 2019

*) The Mammoth Elections Will Cover 543 Constituencies

*) Counting Of Votes Will Be Done On 23 May 2019

It’s Day 2.  Technically that means there are 1,454 days left until November 3, 2020… Election day.  I’m not sure if Day 1 should actually even count.  It’s all kind of a blur really.  Going through the motions of a regular day, feeling like the life I have lead up to now has ended.  There was my whole life, and now there is…. What?  I felt vulnerable, scared and a sense of hopelessness that I can’t ever remember feeling before.  I was not alone in my grief.  My friends and I consoled each other, I read thousands of heartbreaking posts online, I listened to my co-workers cry quietly at their desks.  I went home, cooked some comfort food and laid in bed, just waiting for some reprieve from the ache in my chest.  I allowed myself to think about it for the first time all day.  Trump was elected President.  What does that mean?  Why was I so deeply affected by it?  My anger I could understand.  He is the embodiment of every bad behavior I’ve ever encountered, had to endure, throughout my personal and professional life.  He’s the poster boy for the bully in high school, the racist neighbor, the pervert boss, the ruthless executive that steps on everyone around him to make a buck, the guy who thinks he can do whatever he wants and get away with it.  He threw a national tantrum, and people applauded him for it.  I got closer to the truth of why I was lost in hopelessness.  He didn’t disappoint me.  He acted consistently.  Its everyone else that I’m disappointed in.  Not disappointed, furious.  How could this happen?   How could the people of America actually cast their votes for him.   Who voted for him?  Which segments of society actually cast their ballot with his name endorsed?  I looked it up.  Young people voted for him, Latinos voted for him, women voted for him, blacks voted for him, independents voted for him.  Why?  That’s what I can’t figure out.  Why?  What is happening in their lives that is so horrible that they thought a vote for Trump was worth it.  That he was the answer to some question.  Some groups I can discount.  The truly racist, the truly homophobic and the truly sexist.  They cannot be persuaded or reasoned with.  They just need an excuse, a license to be cruel and demeaning.  They now have it.  The religious right who have now snuck their anti-abortion, anti-women’s rights, anti-gay agenda through.  They are the single-issue voters.  They also cannot be reasoned with.  But what about everyone else?  What problem does a vote for Trump solve?   Trump is not the answer.  What makes voting for a man like him worth it?  What has happened to our country?  How is this okay?  Are there so many of them and so few of us?  I thought the days of open and proud racism were behind us.  There is no fear in using the N-word.  It was used in a 5th grade classroom yesterday.  There is no fear of being religiously intolerant, as women in headscarves are being told to get out of the country.  There is no fear of being racist and of telling anyone with dark skin to go home, their time in this country is up.  People got spit on, swastikas are being painted on buildings, women are rushing from one place to another in honest and justified fear.

Then the protests started.

People gathered and stood up and said that they, like me, did not accept that this was the new normal.  They chanted and cheered and held onto each other.  They got screamed at, and pushed around and arrested.  And they stayed and chanted some more.  The nationwide protests were a beacon of light in the dark night that is now our nation.  But we don’t have to quietly take it.  We have to stand up and fight.  Fight for what we believe, what we know is right.

And while we are fighting, we have some serious problems to solve.  The problem of why.  I know that everyone who voted for Trump is not racist.  Everyone who voted for Trump is not the single-issue voter.  It’s everyone else I want to know about.  Some people I respect voted for Trump.  If we figure out why, then we can figure out a better answer.   And it’s only when we finally figure out the answer that we will come together.  But, we have to stop talking to ourselves.  We have to stop complaining to people that already agree with us.  We have to reach out to “Them”.  The non-racist, non-sexist, Trump voter and ask questions, and be prepared for the answers.  And then we will both make concessions and come together.  We don’t have to agree.  We just have to agree to disagree with respect and compassion.  I think we will see that we have common issues and problems.  What are we doing to move women’s rights?  What are we doing to address some of our societal issues involving race and equality.  For me, my biggest issue is the two-party system.  Perpetuated by the very small group of rich, white men who run it.  The Democrat and Republican partys do not represent the people they pretend to stand for.  You can’t divide our nation into two sides and demand that we reduce our many wide and ranging opinions into one party or the other.  I don’t even know what a Republican or a Democrat is anymore.  Year after year we have to choose between the same hand full of people.  All basically the same, and none representing what we feel.  All third-party candidates lose because we, as a nation, have not embraced the third-party idea as a true option.  There is no grass roots movement acknowledging and advancing the third-party candidate.  There is no coalition of groups demanding to be heard.  To have the opportunity to present different ideas to the populous.  To have the right to agree with some ideals and disagree with others.  Only when the two-party system is abolished can we have true and honest debates about the issues facing our country and decide how we will move forward, not by unanimous decision, that would be impossible, but by majority rule.  And the minority will accept the results because they would have felt heard.

And so I suggest……. I suggest we talk to “Them” and figure out what they were trying to say.  We can all agree that the house we call America had some cracks in the foundation, but why did they think the entire structure needed to be burned down?  When we figure out what they have to say, we figure out what we have to say.  Then we figure out why the groups that are supposed to speak for us, failed so miserably.  Why are the young people, Latinos, blacks and women voting for Trump and against their own interest?  Where are the community leaders?  Where are the elected officials?  We are essentially in the same position now as our founding fathers were in the 1700’s.  We have taxation without representation.  Our voices are not being heard.

How do we do it?  We turn this single person blog into a multi person blog, then we turn that into a series of interviews, then that into a documentary, and into a newsletter and into a group and into a coalition and INTO A MOVEMENT.  A movement that will actually address the issues that are facing our nation.  A movement that will allow people to voice their opinions and feel like they have control over their own lives.  We have to fight to be heard.  Even if we ultimately disagree, we should do so after we have all had our say.  They will not give us what we want.  Those in power will want to stay in power.  They will tell us their way is the only way.  We will have to fight them.  We will have to fight for ourselves and each other.  We can’t afford not to.  This can’t be the answer.  We don’t have that much time……. Only 1454 days left.