Hi it's me again, just dropping by to say that, after spending all day spinning this around in my head like a frozen chicken in a microwave, I think the thing that really kicked Grace to be Voidgrace when he was dying instead of Sungrace was Stratt's "you don't even have a dog" comment. To paraphrase Demon Slayer, sometimes you have a hole in your box of happiness that's so big you can't close it, so your box is always half or completely empty. Human Grace had closed that hole with his students and his teaching, with the simple things he had in his life, even without a partner, family, or a dog, and then Stratt went there and broke his box. Even with Rocky, Grace who was in Hail Mary was never truly happy ā how could he be, amnesiac and having to throw the mummified bodies of his crewmates down the decompression chamber, all this while slowly dying of starvation?
So imagine this: you're dying because of a person who took your happiness from you in the name of saving the world, and you don't really remember that. You've literally been alone, without any other human, in outer space for years, most of those years in a coma, without knowing exactly why this is happening to you. You don't understand that this isn't your fault, hell, all you remember is that you were so unloved that they were happy to strap you to a rocket and launch you off the Earth. Anyone who could have given you answers about the reason for all this died before you even woke up to ask questions. The last time you touched another human being of your own free will was to give them a minimally dignified burial, while you didn't even know who they really were, and now you have all these pieces of their lives but practically nothing of your own besides fox keychains, a crocheted stress ball in the shape of planet Earth and science joke t-shirts. You barely know your own name. Is it really implausible that the hunger for touch, for connection, for companionship and for love, transformed you into a star-devouring cosmic entity when the universe decided that you should be God? After all, you have to fill the box somehow.
None of that matters when you're halfway of tearing apart your universe with your teeth, tho, with your Blanet, who is more amnesiac than you, being the only company you have. And at some point, you bite into the fabric of reality a little too hard, and bam, blood moon and whatever cosmic horror Simon is now be upon ye.
Enough rambling for today. But maybe I'll come back tomorrow with White Hole Grace and his cosmic blood horror husband Simon. That... still Eldritch Sun/Moon AU, but definitely a bit more hopeful than this one.
š bye
Sounding amazing so far !!!!
