Watching his mother passing out drunk when she hated her life even more than she does usually has kept him away from anything drug related most of the time—except maybe two or three times when he and Kieran stole some stuff and were feeling particularly rebellious on the roofs of Anvaadil.
 Mostly it was more useful to sell the stuff to other people though.
 And Finn doesn’t like how it tastes.
 Sadly, he has a hard time resisting a challenge. And an even harder time when bullies challenge him to things.
 This was a terrible idea, since Finn has close to zero tolerance when it comes to alcohol. And also, it turns out, drinking alcohol makes him so fucking sad.
 It feels like the alcohol digs out all the sadness he carries around anyway, but it just gets catapulted to the surface where he has a much harder time to keep it down. Which is how he ends up with his head hanging over a toilet, crying his heart out.
 “No more drinking contests, okay?”, Noa says quietly and pats his back.
 “Definitely not”, Finn answers, but it comes out garbled and he immediately starts heaving again.
 “Are you okay?”, Noa asks.
 Finn starts crying harder.
 “No. I’m really not”, he hiccups and spits some bile out before he wipes his mouth with his sleeve and curls into a pathetic ball, half on the floor and half on Noa’s lap. Noa’s hand in his hair feels very soothing.
 “I’m really bad at comforting people”, Noa remarks and cards their fingers through Finn’s hair. Thinking about his hair makes him cry harder because he has to think about the fact that he chopped all of his hair off and Kieran isn’t here to braid his hair and Kieran isn’t here, period, and Orla is gone and he’s all alone now and he’s scared that something might happen to Kieran and—
 Finn starts spitting again. Noa takes it in stride and holds his head gently, not even caring about the fact that Finn is vomiting straight on the floor.
“I miss him so much.”
 “Who?”
 “My brother.”
 “Oh. I’m—uh. I’m sorry?”
 “He just left. He left me. He didn’t even come to say goodbye.”
 “That. Sucks…?”
 “He’s probably doing all sorts of dangerous stuff and I can’t watch out for him. I miss him. I miss him.”
 “When will he come back?”, Noa asks.
 Finn’s bleeding heart decides that it is the wrong thing to ask. He sits up and desperately grabs Noa’s shirt.
 “What if he never comes back? What if he dies? What if I never see him again? What if he dies?”
 Noa stares at him with big, unblinking eyes and carefully wraps an arm around him to pull Finn closer. Once the hug has been initiated, there’s no stopping the tears. Finn feels like someone is trying to pry his ribcage open to grab his heart and squeeze it.
 Everything hurts and he feels so terrible, he just wants to stay on this cold stone floor forever. He wants Orla’s smile. He wants to hug Kieran.
 He’s so drunk and so fucking sad that he barely realizes someone else entering the bathroom. Or picking him up. Or carrying him to his bed. Noa’s voice is still there while he’s being placed in bed and Noa is still there to put a blanket over him and Finn knows that Noa is not strong enough to carry him to bed, but he’s too sad and hammered to care.
 “Thanks”, Noa says.
 “No problem”, Ela’s voice answers. Finn is too sad to think about how he feels about Ela seeing him like this. And carrying him to bed.
 He falls asleep with Noa’s hand clasped in his own and a steady litany of “I miss him so much”.
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Elamin can’t sleep. He sleeps less than most people in these cursed barracks anyway, but tonight even his usual four hours don’t want to take him. He tries it with the blanket, without the blanket, changes his position for what feels like a hundred times until he finally gives up.
He gets out of his bed and walks towards the exit of the room that he now shares with over twenty people. Some of the other recruits are snoring, some are mumbling in their sleep, some are completely hidden under their blankets as Elamin makes his way through the rows of beds.
The air outside is cool and all three moons are visible in the sky. Elamin thinks about sneaking into the kitchens and finding something to eat, but a sound to his right catches his attention. He follows the sound along the corridor until he reaches one of the doors that leads outside to courtyard B.
Maybe he shouldn’t be surprised to see Finnian out there with his sword and his shield, sweat pouring down his face as if he’s been at this for hours. Maybe the universe is out to get him yet again.
Elamin leans against the door frame and he’s too tired to stop his eyes from wandering.
His traitorous brain provides him with the current count of their sparring matches. Finnian has so far won 25 out of 36 and even the ones that Elamin technically won felt like losses, simply because his body is suffering from some sort of malfunction whenever Finnian gets into close proximity to him.
He flashes back to his last win when he had Finnian pinned to the ground, his sword at his throat. Finnian is so much smaller than he is, but it’s surprisingly difficult to get him to lose his balance. Looking up at him with a stubborn look, his dark hair sticking to his forehead, mouth slightly parted while panting heavily from the exertion...
Elamin was off of him in a matter of seconds. He didn’t even stick around to gloat. Something about this tiny guy with freckles and a dimple in his left cheek just gets him riled up.
It’s probably frustration. Or anger about being beaten by someone so small. Or maybe it’s some sort of competitive spirit that he never encountered before.
Maybe...
Finnian beheads the training dummy and then stands there as the head lolls off and scatters away. Elamin can hear his heavy breathing and watches how his grey shirt sticks to the muscles in his back.
Frustration.
Definitely frustration.
Elamin thinks about what he could say, but before he can come up with something witty and at least a little bit insulting, Finnian puts his sword and shield away and turns around.
His eyes are red and puffy and even for someone who grew up among elves who barely show any emotions it’s obvious that Finnian’s been crying. Elamin’s words get stuck in his throat as Finnian catches sight of him.
They stare at each other across the courtyard in the pale moonlight and Elamin swallows. He could say something about Finnian being a crybaby. He could ask mockingly if he’s homesick or misses his mom.
Damn, Elamin doesn’t even know if Finnian’s mom is alive.
He knows nothing about this guy except that he’s frustrating and always too happy and trains harder than anyone else and he keeps helping newbies who don’t know anyone and--
“What do you want?”, Finnian croaks and his voice is hoarse.
Elamin opens his mouth and closes it again. Finnian crosses the courtyard and shoots him a look that seems to dare Elamin to comment on his red eyes. But Elamin doesn’t find the words, or any appropriate words until Finnian has shouldered past him into the corridor, heading towards the showers.
“Can’t sleep?”, is what eventually comes out and he scolds himself internally for the dumb question. Finnian looks over his shoulder, his eyebrows raised.
“I only sleep four hours. Same as you.”
Elamin did not actually know this. He clears his throat, wondering if either the blind girl or the weird one would know what to say. Then he’s angry at himself for even thinking about that. It’s not like they’re friends.
Elamin doesn’t like Finnian. Finnian doesn’t like Elamin.
All they do is insult each other and hack at each other during training. This is ridiculous.
“If you get bored at night and want to get your ass kicked some more you know where I live”, Finnian says and leaves Elamin standing in the hallway.
8. “That’s just not fair.” -> random or (not so random) ppl being offended by Finn's everything bc they should be
----------------------------------------------
“Who is that?”
 “Fuck me if I know.”
 “Well, they certainly seem to make Finn laugh a lot.”
 Elamin doesn’t answer. He’s too busy observing Finnian in a strictly professional manner. They are still on duty, after all, and still Finnian insists on speaking to random strangers about random things. How in the nine hells he just talks to people like that is a complete mystery to Elamin.
 He supposes he should be good at talking to people, but the fact that he’s not is certainly one of the many reasons why he’s considered an absolute disgrace in his family’s eyes.
 Noa stands next to him with their head cocked as they look at Finnian in a way that someone might examine an interesting scientific experiment.
 Finnian throws his head back and laughs about a joke. The man he’s talking to—a very tall and very muscular orc in heavy armor—seems to be just as delighted by Finnian’s presence as Finnian is with his.
 “I can’t even see him and I know that’s just not fair”, Hanon sighs from somewhere to his left.
 “How does he do that”, Noa wants to know, their head still cocked at an almost unnatural angle. Elamin has given up asking people what the everloving fuck is up with Noa. The only people who seem to know are Finnian and Hanon and they never answer his questions.
 “Does what”, Elamin asks, his teeth gritted just a little as the orc puts a hand on Finnian’s shoulder.
 “You know. Turn people into goo. Like butter standing in the sun for too long”, Noa says.
 Elamin snorts.
 “It’s just because he’s so—“
 “Handsome? Friendly? Kind? Funny? Earnest? Righteous in a way that makes my skin tingle when I look at him?”, Noa provides, their huge eyes turning to look at Elamin. He feels a strange tug somewhere behind his ribs and coughs slightly.
 “Sounds like you’re head over heels in love with the little guy”, he scoffs, crossing his arms in front of his chest.
 “Huh. Interesting. Do you think that’s it? I’ve never been in love with anyone.”
 “Honestly, if you are in love with Finn, no one would blame you. I think most people are a little bit in love with Finn”, Hanon says and pats Noa’s thigh.
 “I’m not”, Elamin protests. Hanon’s face turns upwards and even though she can’t actually see him her blind eyes land on his face. She smiles sweetly.
Intanto negli USA qualcuno ha sparato (e ucciso) Muhiyidin Elamin, attivista antirazziale
“Amava Charleston ed amava lottare per ciò che è giusto. Non ho mai incontrato nessuno più impegnato e laborioso di lui”, dice la nipote dell’attivista. Continua a leggere
(TECUMSEH, ON) – Criminal charges have been laid against two men stemming from a serious personal injury crash on Highway 3 in Tecumseh on April 26. A two vehicle crash sent four people to hospital with injuries, varying from serious to life-threatening, when a Lexus and a Volkswagen collided head on, between Walker Road and Sexton Side Road, at around 9:15am Wednesday. Two men were arrested…
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Elamin is a hell of a drug. It makes you feel unvulnerable, like a god. If the addiction is in an early stage, it is easy to recover but you will always remember that one first time you did it. Check it out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cufU05D-WAY
