#eizen x reader

You haven't changed much in spite of his continued efforts.

You don't hide away from him now, you talk more openly; although conversations usually drift towards him talking about his days and activities— he has to actively ask you about yours in order for you to start sharing— and even then, he still somehow ends up being the one carrying most of the conversation.

Although you don't stumble as often with your words as you first did in your initial meetings, you still have a ways to go when it comes to applying proper etiquette as the first lady of your house.

You still tense up when talking to the higher ups, you become clammy and sweaty when you're tasked to serve tea to guests. And you've unashamedly started dozing off during his lectures in the afternoon.

It's quite grating, he wonders how your parents ever allowed you to act as you do now. Although he believes all women, including their children should live comfortable lives with their husbands— you've taken comfort and bliss to an insurmountable degree. You live your life with your head in the clouds. And although you're never explicitly rude or outspoken, your mild manner and almost pushover tendencies makes you extremely amicable in every interaction— which is to say, you agree to most things without thinking much about the consequences of them.

He worries about you being manipulated or swayed when placed outside of the comforts of your estate— or even when he's not nearby to help you. These thoughts linger on his mind even as he's at the Yamada dojo, reading your letters about your attendants borrowing your kimonos and hair clips for their personal outings.

His visits to your estate have lessened due to a new addition to the Yamada clan. He's been pouring all of his time trying to guide the young child who had recently lost his parents due to a gruesome attack—Shugen is an attentive student, he's talked about him extensively in his letters, although he's never had the chance to introduce him to you properly like Sagiri, he was hoping to bring the young boy with him to the estate for a change of scenery. He deserves at least this much for what he's been through.

Just like with Sagiri, you receive the young boy warmly. For once, gone is the clumsy way you talk to others, to you fiddling restlessly with your sleeves as you avoid eye contact, to the way you clam up when the attention is placed solely on you.

Eizen watches your seamless interaction with Shugen— he thinks having siblings would have done you some good, perhaps you would have been able to socialise more outside of the maids and him in the estate.

You crouch down to Shugen's height, he looks nervous at first, looking over at Eizen for some form of confirmation of trust, and he can only offer the young boy a soft smile, patting his head as he introduces him to you.

You smile brightly as you walk Shugen around the estate, tiny hand in your own, touring him around the grounds as expected of a noble lady of your standing, the way you speak and hold yourself as you talk without any constraints, it creates a warm feeling inside his chest. His eyes linger on your smile as you continue walking through the familiar path of your home.

It's evening by the time you finish, just about time for him and Shugen to depart for the estate. You plead with him, tugging tightly on his sleeve to stay for dinner, to have the maids serve them both before they set-off for the dojo.

Before Eizen can say anything else, you're already ushering Shugen into the dining area, holding his hand in yours as you both walk away from him.

Eizen remains statued in the middle of the garden, watching you walk off with his pupil.

The dinner finishes, and you’re still asking for him to stay just a bit longer for some tea outside the engawa, this time Shugen tugs on his sleeve as well, although he doesn't say anything to him, the small glimmer in his usual solemn gaze makes it hard for Eizen to say no to his silent request. They stay for tea, and Eizen finds himself once again doing most of the speaking throughout the entire exchange, with both you and Shu continuously asking him questions.

The next time he visits, you've asked him to bring both Sagiri and Shu for dinner. And the next time he comes back, he does just that.

His subsequent visits have you looking expectantly at his side. Eizen tries not to think too much about the disappointment in your eyes when he shows up alone in his visits.

You've asked him during one of your walks why he bothers continuing his sermons when your tutors already reinstate the same ideas he usually talks about. He replies honestly that as your fiance, he's also responsible for ensuring you embody the finest qualities of a lady of noble standing and that as you are now, you still lack—

and before he could finish, you start walking away.

It's one of the first times you’ve blatantly walked away while he was talking.

He’s not quite sure what he said wrong, but it doesn’t take a scholar to know he’s upset you in some way.

He would never, in a million years, expect you of all people to do something so unlike it— he’s confused as to whether he should be proud of your newfound confidence or annoyed— he supposes he’s also partly to blame for this.

The next time Eizen comes back to your estate, you hardly look at him. Not in the same way you inadvertently avoid his gaze out of fear, or cower away at the sight of him— you inexplicably, with all intentions— avoid facing in his general direction. Turning one cheek away as you walk in front of him. You also reject all attempts at him continuing his sermons, even asking your attendants to block the library entrance. Attempts at conversations are shot down. You answer in brief, clipped responses before letting the topic die through the ensuing silence you once hated.

Eizen doesn’t try to bring up the issue, instead he waits (hopes) for your momentary displeasure to fade with time.

But it doesn’t, days pass and then a week— and the distance in your relationship remains largely unchanged. He’s resorted to other means of mending the situation.

He brings Shugen along on his next visit.

You remain warm and welcoming to Shugen, asking about his lessons at the dojo, and listening attentively to whatever story he eagerly shares. Eizen can only bask in the radiant smile that he’s been deprived off from a distance. But perhaps that, in and of itself, had backfired— you now devote nearly all of your attention to Shugen (and Eizen could never hold anything against the young boy as he had nothing to do with the entire exchange).

Even as you hug the young pupil goodbye, patting his head as you ask him to come back and visit you again— whilst you merely bow at Eizen with a neutral expression, stiffly thanking him for visiting before seeing them off.

He massages his temple with a weary sigh— his father’s words echo in his mind— a woman’s temper is like an autumn weather— fickle and ever changing.

Eizen ponders how he’s going to fix this—

“Sir Eizen, may I ask a question?” Shugen asks, holding onto the kemari ball you had given him.

“Yes of course, what is it?” Eizen replies, softening his tone.

Shugen’s eyes drift between him and the toy in his hands, brows furrowing as his lips press into a thin line.

“Is…Miss (L/N) upset?”

Eizen debates whether it would be a good idea to explain the situation to the young pupil— but he chooses not to. He doesn’t need to be burdened with the thought of a simple lover’s spat.

“No, why would you think that?”

“She said you made her upset?” Shugen says with a tilt of his head, although his words come out more like a question; less of doubt, and more of confusion.

The admission doesn’t surprise Eizen, your actions spoke quite loudly of what you wouldn’t verbalise to him directly. Your displeasure w/ his company is clear, although hearing it come from the young boy makes him wonder what else you could have brewing in your own mind.

What thoughts have taken root in your mind? Has your resolve to this engagement wavered? Have you begun to doubt the arrangement between your families?

He hadn’t intended to upset you, he’s only acting in accordance with his duty as your fiance— to what he believed was best for you; but intent matters little when the outcome becomes misdirected.

A part of him wonders if you have come to resent him.

“Oh…” is all he says. Schooling his expression.

“M-miss (L/N) didn’t sound angry, but she did seem quite troubled…”

Somehow, that does little to reassure him. For once Eizen finds himself at loss for words.

“It’s… a complicated situation, you’ll understand when you’re much older…”

Shugen nods his head slowly. Pensive as he fiddles with the colourful ball in his hands. It feels as if he just said something he shouldn’t.

“I see…”

You were promised to him from a young age.

As the eldest daughter of a wealthy merchant family closely affiliated with the Asaemon's, you held no grounds when it comes to inheriting the family business. Your family had already signed the agreement, by the time Eizen comes of age, you two would be wed as soon as the cherry blossoms start to bloom.

Growing up, Eizen wasn't particularly fond of you. You were timid, meek; you hid from him for the majority of his stay in your family's estate and you made great efforts in steering clear of him whenever you stayed at the Yamada estate.

At one point he had convinced himself that you hated him—hated the marriage that was set upon both of you, to the contract that signed away both of your lives to be intertwined before you even had the consciousness to make the decision for yourselves.

At one point, he had grown to dislike you as well.

There's no running away from duty; you are assigned your role the moment you are born. A woman born into high society should conduct herself properly— as the lady of your household, you should carry yourself with confidence, your head held high w/ both elegance and poise. Or at least, that's what his mother had told him when they were discussing his marriage proposal to your family.

But now, as he comes face to face with you— you are more akin to a cornered mouse than a girl born from a noble lineage. You shrink away from his attention, you don't try to meet his eyes, when you speak to him— you fumble over your words, quick to excuse yourself as soon as you feel the silence linger longer than you’d like.

It's a marriage of duty, for him and yourself. Feelings shouldn't matter. You would bear his children for the sake of both your families’ legacy. What should matter is you learning to conduct yourself properly in social situations and develop speaking skills expected of a woman of your standing.

He should be dissapointed in you, you should know better by now. You're the same age, and yet you choose to cower from him— he should be dissapointed in you. This is hardly how a lady should be acting in front of her future prospect.

He pinches the bridge of his nose as he spies you hiding behind a pillar. You hurried to conceal yourself as soon as you saw him from across the path. You didn't even have the sense to hide yourself discreetly behind a wall— he would've been less disappointed if you simply turned and fled. At this rate, if faced w/ a truly dire situation, you would probably choke on air alone.

But as your husband, it is within his duty to help you. As the future head of the Asaemon's, he will guide you into becoming the proper wife fit to stand beside him.

Your first session started of w/ Eizen spending the majority of the day looking around the estate for you. When he finally cornered you and brought you to the library, you were shaking so badly that he almost felt bad for subjecting you to his lectures (almost).

This is for your own benefit, he reminds himself.

By the second session, you were still tense, however, you didn't try to run from him the moment you saw him (well, you did attempt to pivot away, but he called your name before you could scamper off, rooting you in place); it goes by swimmingly, you didn’t look too enthused, but you didn't voice any complaints either.

On your third session, you were still quiet. You listened to his words, but you remained restless in your seat.

On your fourth lesson, he brought Sagiri w/ him. Having you both listen to his words could benefit you both, it's as they say— killing two birds with one stone. And you seem visibly relaxed w/ the younger girl around.

Sagiri ended up sleeping halfway through, curling up beside you, head resting on your lap as you tucked away loose strands of hair away from her face.

He had ended the session earlier that day.

His continued efforts to bring to light the importace of poise and aptitude followed on everytime he came by to visit on the weekends. You've grown quite used to his presence, although you rarely ever listened to most of his words.

You find yourself expecting his company whenever the weekends roll around, or whenever family meetings occur, sticking yourself to his side like a moth to a flame. He never shoed you away, so you never left him alone either.

Eizen wouldn't state it forthcomingly, but he finds himself growing fond of your company as well. It's not an unwanted outcome, you are to be married in future after all, it's only natural you two would have a close bond.