#egoshaw

Dear Arin, I’ve been thinking about you, perhaps a bit too much. You’re on my mind constantly. I can’t get through one day without your damned infectous smile appearing time and time again inside my head. Your laugh, your voice, all of you; it refuses to leave me alone. When I first started working for the Game Grumps, I had attempted to force myself to keep things strictly professional. I made myself promise I wouldn’t fall for my boss or co-workers; this was a strictly professional reltionship. (Interesting choice of words, isn’t it?) If I were able to, I would have kept all those promises I made to myself a year ago. Once I realized how deep I had gone, it was too late; it had already taken root in my soul, the very culmination of my being. You’d managed to weave your way through to my heart. Call me dark and whatnot, but I had adopted the mentality that I was incapable of finding love, and I had completely given up on the notion of romace. It had been placed at the backburner; work mattered more to me then. I had zeroed in on my goals and ambitions so heavily, that by the time I had come to terms with my innermost desire, it was already too late. Now, I want to love you. To hold you, touch you, and be there for you. When you’re hurt, I want to heal you. When you cry, I want to be the one you come to for comfort. I want to be there for you, to love you and care for you as long as I am able. When I was in high school, there was a boy. He was cute, he was funny, smart; the perfect idea of a boyfriend, by anyone’s standards. We were very close in school, him and I. We tried a relationship for a while. He was very caring and loving, probably the best man to date. I lost him. He went out for something to eat with a few of his friends one night, and he never came back. We spent weeks looking for him; we had the whole school partaking in the effort to find him. I loved him and wanted him safe. We never found him. We’d spent 6 months searching for him. The few of us that had partaken in the search effort were beginning t burn-out; where was he? Why haven’t we found him yet? I had felt, through those six months, as if it were my own fault that he had disappeared without a trace. I was up very very late most nights, scouring the information, which was sparse to begin with, in an effort to scrounge any relevant information I could that would lead me to him. I don’t want to lose you like I did him, Arin. You are my light, my one ray of sunshine in this dark and cloudy world that the universe has forced me to inhabit. Arin, you have awakened desires and feelings that I had not previously known about or cared to indulge upon. I want to take you to a candlelit dinner, have a night on the town with you, or just simply walk around outside with you. I do not care where we go; I want us to be together. I can’t stand to see you alone like this, after all I’ve seen you go through. I see you wrestle with your emotions so much, and I want to help you. I see you in such a struggle; i end up feeling the same struggle. I want what we could be to become what we are; happy, and in love. There is a certain element to it that has me giggling like a school girl, and sets my heart aflutter. You have hammered into me an affection I do not think I will be able to easily ignore, hence the reason I am writing this to you. I want you to know that I will be here for you if you need me. I will be there to wipe away your tears when you cry. I will love you to the end of the universe and back. I will kiss you, hug you, and just be there for you. Arin Hanson, you have, despite my very best efforts to prevent it, have become a center point in my once bleak life, and this letter is to tell you as much. Arin, I love you. I want to give you everything I can to make you happy. I care too much to see you anything less than happy. You are the light of my life, and I can’t bear to watch you tough it like this. I want to make you happy, to give you everything that others can’t. Please, Arin, I beg of you. If only you’d let me help you. Don’t go it alone like this, you’ll only sink yourself deeper int this pit of despair you feel. Arin, please. Let me help you. With immense love,        -Vernon Shaw