My favorite way to explain the benefit of not being a people pleaser to fellow chronically ill folks (as someone who is chronically ill and has been working to not be a people pleaser anymore) Your body is a plane that you are just along for the ride in. The people around you are also passengers who, for the sake of this example, we'll consider children (even if they aren't). When your body has an alert that you have a need, even if unexpected, or might cause you to have to troubleshoot quickly, that's the oxygen mask popping down from the overhead compartment telling you to put it on. The flight attendants always say to put yours on first before helping others because if both of you don't get them on, you can't help other people in your row get them on. It's not being selfish, it's not being troublesome, and it's not your job to put your needs on the back burner to please others. You are just trying to survive, just like everyone else, with the least amount of damage for everyone involved. It's more than enough of a compromise as it is, and it is up to them to manage their expectations that don't match the reality of what you already have to deal with. They can be disappointed, frustrated, etc., but the fact of the matter is, you still have a right to take care of yourself, especially when it comes to navigating life, experiencing your chronic illness. You are loved, your feelings are valid, your pain is real, and you deserve to eat and exist just for being yourself and nothing more. Stay hydrated as best you can, take your meds, and try to rest when you can.
