#eggsy fluff

As soon as he opened the limo door, the Eggsy Unwin you knew was gone, replaced in the blink of an eye by billionaire, Robert Hudson, looking to buy into this boy’s club of Bates’. He helped you out of the limo and then you walked, arm in arm, up to the security guards posted at the grand double doors of Bates’ home, where he tonight was hosting his charity’s annual gala. A front for inducting rich, like-minded extremists into his little group. 

“Hudson, party of two,” Eggsy smiled politely at the guards, exuding confidence from his every pore. 

The security guard, a large bald man with an expressionless face, looked down at his tablet for all of two seconds before he looked up again, surveying the area. “Welcome, sir,” he said as he and the other guard moved in unison, opening a door each to grant you entrance to one of the most lavish scenes you had ever witnessed in person. 

You worked hard to keep the awe from your face, knowing Arabella Hudson should be well used to the kind of scene before her. Gorgeous gowns and bespoke suits littering the grand ballroom, framed by stunning floristry and lit by glittering chandeliers. Normally, you would grab the first flute of champagne you could find and make Eggsy twirl you around the dance floor to the sound of the live orchestra posted in the back corner of the room. But today, the two of you walked towards the sea of drab billionaires calmly and cooly, finding hands to shake, needing to identify the people who had the information and connections you required to get this mission rolling. 

It was over an hour of talking to various celebrities, politicians and the wealthiest members of society before your host, William Bates made an appearance. He made his way down the grand staircase carefully, extremely aware of the attention that his entrance had grabbed. He walked hand in hand with his husband, Thomas Bates, whose elegance and grace was so severe one might think he was actually floating down the marble steps. 

Inwardly, you rolled your eyes. What kind of a self-important prick thought he had to be fashionably late to his own event? Nevertheless, you plastered what you hoped was a bright smile on your face and joined the other guests in applauding the hosts as they made their entrance. 

“So,” Eggsy continued the conversation he was having with the middle aged Irish gentlemen beside him, who positively reeked of old money, “I assume he’s the man to talk to about this…” he paused, for effect, “gentlemen's club I’ve heard whisperings of.” 

The Irishman smiled slowly, understanding the meaning between the lines of his words. Eggsy had been working his usual magic to charm this oblivious pawn in Bates’ scheme, and he had very easily created the impression that he would be the kind of person to buy into whatever it was they were planning.

To your surprise, you seemed to be a natural at acting the part and aiding Eggsy in gaining the trust of the corrupt wealthy you were rubbing elbows with. Even Eggsy with his years of experience struggled to keep the admiration and pride out of his eyes as he watched you, nailing the undercover operation. 

“He sure is,” the Irishman confirmed, accent thick. “I’ll take you to see him myself. We could use more members like yourself,” he commented cryptically. 

That was how you found yourself, another hour later, approaching William Bates, the Irishman leading the way. “William, I’d like you to meet my new friend, Robert Hudson, and his gorgeous wife, Arabella.” 

“How do you do?” Bates greeted as he shook Eggsy’s hand. 

The two of you fawned over the magnificence of the gala, paying your respects to the host before the Irishman couldn’t help but interject in your small talk. “Will, I think Rob here is a prime candidate for your little side project.” 

“Well, if you keep bringing me great candidates it won’t be so little,” Bates jested cheesily, clearly trying to maintain a cover. 

“From what little I’ve heard of this project I developed a great interest. I’d love to be able to discuss it with you further and hopefully get involved,” Eggsy lied.

“That is just excellent,” a grin crept over Bates’ face, clearly eager to induct more extremists. “I’m not going to lie to you, I did a bit of reading up on you and I think you would be perfect.” You bit back a smile, the idiot had found the digital trail you had left for him to find Eggsy and contemplate him as a new recruit. “I’d actually love to discuss it now, if you don’t mind?” 

Eggsy cast his eyes down at you, feigning a questioning glance for permission. You gave him a reassuring smile and the smallest of nods. “That sounds great.” 

“Phenomenal! You two, follow me,” he began to turn, leading you out before Eggsy interjected. 

“I prefer not to involve my wife in business actually.”

My wife. For a split second, you forgot the extreme stakes of the situation you were in, so taken aback by what Eggsy had called you. Obviously, it was just for his cover. Nevertheless, there was a deep longing in your chest. You were quite sure you wanted nothing more from this life than to be Eggsy’s wife. To be with him for life. 

As quickly as the thought entered your mind, it went away, realising you were going to be on your own from here on out. Panic seeped through your chest, burning up within you. Despite your emotions, you maintained a neutral expression.

“Go enjoy the party, darling,” Eggsy spoke directly to you now. “I’m sure I won’t be long gone.” 

With that, he sent you one of his dazzling winks only you could see, and he followed Bates away from the party and down a heavily-guarded corridor. You were officially on your own. 

As discussed, you mingled for a while longer before you excuse yourself from the conversation you were in to go to the ladies. Your precaution in avoiding arising any form of suspicion by making your exit at the same time as Eggsy was largely unnecessary, seeing as the majority of the guests were far too intoxicated at this point to even take note of you. 

“Excuse me?” You approached one of the guards barricading the corridor Eggsy had just disappeared down. “I was wondering if you could show me the way to the bathroom?” As you spoke, you placed the faintest of touches to his arm, as though to grab his attention. In actual fact, you were placing a small clear patch on his bare skin, imperceptibly using concentrated, fast-acting toxins to make him extremely susceptible to charm. In less than twenty seconds, he would be doing whatever you asked of him. It was of your own design, and you were extremely proud of it, to say the least.

Within ten minutes, your big dopey security guard was placing his hand on the biometric scanner to open the control room, with two bodies at your feet. Not exactly ideal, but you didn’t have the time or the patience to patch up every guard you came across so the two guarding the door had to go. 

You didn’t even get a ruffle your skirt until the door to the control room opened, to reveal three men, two in charge of surveillance and two in charge of firing the many weapons Bates had hidden throughout the mansion to eliminate any threats. Clearly, this little team weren’t two quick on the uptake since none of them had managed to take up arms to defend your little raid of their workplace. 

“Shoot them, Ben!” You instructed your brand new personal bodyguard, as you fired your own weapon, concealed as your bedazzled clutch just as Eggsy’s gun was often concealed in a briefcase. 

Seeing you as the weaker link, the third of the men who was yet to be shot charged you, knocking you to the ground. “Oof!” You exclaimed, the wind completely knocked out of you. Without a single word from you, Ben had shot the man straight in the head, the toxin working it’s magic of instilling a sense of loyalty toward whoever was instructing them. 

You sucked in a deep breath from your place on the floor, the pain it brought already informing you that you may have a cracked rib or two. Ben offered his hand, which you took appreciatively. God you missed your office at HQ.

‘U ALRIGHT?’ Flashed across the display of your glasses, Eggsy having subtly typed the message out with his eyes from wherever he was, clearly having been watching your camera’s streaming.

“I’m fine, Galahad, just focus on your end of things,” you adopted your usual objective tone which Eggsy was so used to hearing from you on missions. 

You didn’t have to see him to know Eggsy was fighting off a scowl, hating when you referred to him by his code name. He liked to say he hated how professional you were when it came to your work life, but truly, he loved your unwavering passion and commitment to Kingsman. Even if that translated to you insisting on keeping your private and professional lives separate.

Eggsy, as he followed Bates through a series of secret doors, let out a breath he didn’t realise he had been holding as he heard you through the comms. He had faith in you and your abilities as a Kingsman, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried out of his mind with you in the field with him for the first time. 

“Alright, I’m in,” your voice rang out through the comms once more. “I’ve got your back, Galahad.” 

Your words filled him with a sense of ease as he walked closer and closer to what was possibly an extremely dangerous situation. He knew you would always be there to get him out of hot water when he needed it. 

“I know all this secrecy and security measures might seem a bit excessive, Robert, but what I’m about to tell you is highly sensitive information,” Bates began his spiel, completely oblivious to the fact that Eggsy’s glasses were recording everything he said. “As you probably know, up until a few years ago I was working on a political career of my own, using the influence I ascertained from my business’s success to try and make a difference in this country. I quickly learned that I was going to be able to change shit all. Too many right wing conservatives in my way voting down everything we tried to put forward,” he shook his head, Eggsy through his research identifying that he was clearly a man scorned by the oppression he had suffered as a gay man his whole life, absolutely desparate to make changes. “But then, just as I was about to give up, I was hit with the greatest inspiration there ever was,” a smile crept onto his face as he paused dramatically. “Valentine.” 

Eggsy sighed internally, wishing for the love of God that the influence of that man would just die out already. 

“To see someone come so close to changing the world for the better. That was… life changing,” there was a glimmer in Bates’ eye, which quickly disappeared as he continued on. “Obviously there were flaws in that plan, however. Leaving so many like minded people to die who would so clearly follow in his leadership. But the way he took action to make change. That was groundbreaking,” he smiled wide, looking to Eggsy now for some kind of input. 

“I agree completely,” Eggsy gave Bates what he was looking for. “But what action could we possibly take?” 

Somehow, the smile on Bates’ face grew even wider, mania spelt out all over his face. “I’m glad you asked,” he said, placing his hand upon the biometric scanner on the wall behind him. 

At first, Eggsy thought he was just looking at an empty room, but quickly realised he was entering an observation room as the wall made completely of glass around the corner came into view. On the other side of the two way mirror, was rows upon rows of beds in a warehouse sized room a flight of stairs below where they stood. Each bed was occupied, each occupant appearing to be deceased as they laid face up, completely still with their arms by their sides. The only indication that they were alive came from the machines hooked up to their brains, displaying their brain waves as they slept.

“It may not look like it, but you are looking at the greatest army in history,” Bates explained. “Each soldier you see here is dormant, their minds made, by my scientists, to be extremely pliant. Each one of them is awaiting programming, which will be sent directly to their brains through those computers,” he pointed to the brain monitors. “My programming will make them the most obedient, most highly trained soldiers alive within seconds. Ready to overthrow the government of the United Kingdom at a moment’s notice.”

“Already working on a reversal program,” you notified Eggsy through your comms, having discovered the information Bates was divulging through a quick skim of his files. 

“Who are they?” Eggsy questioned. 

“The homeless, the poor, the isolated. People that won’t be missed when they disappear. All right wing conservatives,” smugness oozed from Bates’ reply. “All the people who agree with those standing in the way of making the changes this world needs. LGBT rights. Climate change prevention. Free healthcare. And with more help from people like you, Robert, we won’t just be making these changes here, we can make them on a global scale. All you have to do is enter your money into the pool of funding and you too can be a part of our little, gentlemen’s club, as we like to call it.”

“A gentlemen’s club that rules the world, eh?” Eggsy joked.

“Precisely.” 

From your position in the control room, you snorted. “Great thanks for the complete confession, dickhead, that’s going to playback well in court,” you laughed quietly as you typed away, working at lightning speed to finish the program which would set Bates’ victims free of any control he had over them. 

The rest of the conversation became white noise to you as you worked furiously, knowing the time Eggsy was buying you by chatting with Bates and inquiring further into the logistics was limited. 

“Okay Galahad,” you spoke once more, ten minutes later, “the program is complete. I just need you to get Bates back to the party before I send the program to the computers so he doesn’t notice that anything has gone awry before the feds arrive.” 

“Why don’t we go back to the party and celebrate over a bottle of champagne? I’m sure your other guests are missing you,” you heard Eggsy follow you direction over the comms. 

For a moment, you couldn’t believe your luck. Your first field mission.  A taped confession. All of the offenders all piled into one gala, drunk out of their minds completely oblivious to the fact that they were ten minutes away from arrest. Enough evidence to prosecute them all ten times over already sent. 

Luck, of course, was not actually on your side. Little did you know, as you were patting yourself on the back prematurely, a guard was approaching the control room door to swap positions with one of the guards who now laid on the floor dead. In your haste to get to where you were needed most, behind the keyboard, you had forgotten to instruct Ben to clean up his mess. 

The lights throughout the entirety of the mansion flashed red as the guard raised the alarm. Through the surveillance screen to your right, you could see the people around Eggsy go on the offensive immediately. “Ben guard the door!” you screamed, needing to protect both yourself and Eggsy simultaneously.

As soon as you yelled out, the door to the control room was open and Eggsy was into action as he started to fight off the guards he was surrounded by in the most heavily guarded area of the entire building. Ben was scuffling with the guard who had called the code red behind you as you worked furiously to lock the door to the control room and bar anymore guards from interfering with you. At the same moment the door slammed shut, a gunshot rang out. 

Without thinking twice you grabbed your clutch-pistol, as Ben’s dead body fell to the floor with a thud. You were quick to turn and fire a shot straight between the man’s eyes. Just about as quick as he had been in shooting you straight through your abdomen. 

“Fuck!” you exclaimed, body curling inwards as you clutched the wound. 

“Merlin?” Eggsy questioned across the line, even as he fought off the guards from every side. 

You stared down at the crimson seeping through your dress, ears ringing with shock. 

“Merlin, I could really do with some back up right now!” Eggsy yelled across the comms, not having registered the meaning of the commotion on your end of the line. You said nothing in return, writing in pain in the chair which was quickly becoming soaked in your blood. “Y/N I can’t do this without you!” He spoke your true name, desperation evident in his voice.

His words struck something deep within you. Eggsy Unwin, the love of your life, needed you. No gunshot wound was going to stop you from saving him. You barely felt the pain as the adrenaline began to pump through your veins once more. Within seconds you have access to the guns hidden within the walls of the corridor Eggsy was in, and you were firing away at anyone who dared try and harm him. 

As soon as all immediate threats to Eggsy were eliminated, you moved onto the next largest threat. William Bates running for the hills to find the nearest computer so he could launch his program and have an army at his disposal. 

As he ran, you found the nearest gun in a corridor nearby and locked sights on your target. Bates crumpled to the ground with a tremendous scream as a bullet shattered his right knee cap. You smirked, despite yourself. 

You glanced back to the surveillance displaying the party where all the guests were convening. The alarm and red lights had ceased, and while some were sober enough to realise that they should be on their way before trouble arrived, the majority were so drunk they just continued as they were. Despite your slip up, most of the criminals would still be brought to justice immediately. 

So with what little energy was left in you, you hit send on the program you had just designed. Within thirty minutes they should regain consciousness, with their free will and identities still in tact. 

You slumped in your chair, breathing out a sigh of relief. The mission was complete.The world was safe. Most importantly to you Eggsy was safe. You watched as he approached Bates, propping him up against the wall, finishing the mission the way he loved most, rubbing salt in the wound with witty remarks. 

You smiled to yourself, forgetting everything but your love for Eggsy in that moment. That is, until you glanced down at your abdomen once more, remembering yourself and what exactly might be happening to you. 

“Eggsy,” your use of his first name grabbing his attention immediately as you spoke softly across the line. “Eggsy I’ve been hit.” 

With your words, Eggsy’s blood ran cold. No, he thought to himself, body kicking into gear before his brain did, turning and bolting back down the way he came. No no no no no.

A notification flashes across his glasses display that Kingsman’s personal medical team has been alerted and are on their way to the scene.

It doesn’t take him long to find you, remembering the route exactly from when he had been watching you to ensure you got to the control room safely. When he arrived, the door, to his dismay, was locked. 

“Babe!” He yells, voice so much more desperate than it was not ten minutes earlier when he had begged for your help. “Babe open the door!” 

The moment of silence between his plea and when the door opens seemed to stretch on for an age. Eggsy needing to get to you in this moment more than he thinks he’s needed anything in his entire life. The sight he’s met with seems to fill his lungs with ice. You, slumped in a chair, covered in your own blood. 

“Eggsy,” you cry, your fear finally catching up with you, allowing tears to leak from your eyes. 

He’s at your side in a second, ripping his jacket off and scrunching it into a ball to use to place pressure on the wound.

“Eggsy, it hurts so fucking bad,” you sob, overcome with the pain. 

Eggsy swears he feels his heart physically splitting in two, watching you in absolute agony with no power to stop it. The only power he had, was to hopefully take away some of your fear. “It’s all going to be okay, babe. The paramedics are on their way and they’re going to fix you up. They’ll make the pain stop, I promise.” 

As he consoles you he takes hold of your body and lowers you to the ground, allowing you to lie down and providing himself with better ability to slow the bleeding of your wound. The movement causes stars to dance before your eyes, and black dots start to cloud your vision. You shut your eyes, hoping to make it stop. 

“Hey, hey, hey. Stay with me now darling. You have to stay awake,” he tries to maintain a calm tone, knowing the last thing you needed from him right now was panic, no matter how strongly he felt it. 

“Why?” You ask, tears ceasing, head so groggy from blood loss you begin to lose sight of sense.

“Because,” Eggsy fights back tears, “I have a really important question to ask you. And if you go to sleep you won’t be able to give me an answer.” 

Neither of you take any note of the sound of the feds arriving, raiding the charity gala and arresting everyone on the list of names you had sent them. 

“Oh Eggsy…” you smile dreamily, blood loss officially making you delirious. “I think we both know my answer is a yes.” 

Eggsy allows a single tear to fall, the bitter-sweetness of the moment becoming too much for him. “Agent Galahad?” He hears one of Kingsman’s personal paramedics call from down the hall. 

“Hurry up!” He turns and screams in reply. 

When he turns back to you, your eyes are closed and your face is completely void of expression. 

“Y/N?” he asks, hoping for you to reopen your eyes. “Y/N!” he shouts, as you fail to do so. Your complete lack of response breaks down his walls, and he begins to sob over your body as the paramedics burst into the room. 

In a matter of seconds he is pushed away from you, a medic taking his place in putting pressure on the wound. Another medic, takes your pulse, checking to see if there was any life left in you. 

The world slows. An hour seems to pass before the medic says a word. Eggsy is sure that he’s lost you right up until the medic says, “She’s still with us,” giving everyone the go ahead to start work on you to make sure it stays that way. 

Naturally, the Kingsman paramedics were some of the best, so as quickly as they had arrived, they were taking you away, already starting work on a blood transfusion to make up for your severe blood loss. Anytime a Kingsman went on a mission, the medical team had plenty of the agents’ blood on standby, for situations exactly like these. Eggsy had lost too many agents in his time as a Kingsman, so when he and Harry worked to rebuild following the wrath of the Golden Circle, he ensured there were as many safety nets available possible. 

Even as they moved through the chaos that the gala had become, guests being arrested everywhere, the medical team continued their work on you. Eggsy was pushing the stretcher himself, ensuring you were getting as much attention as humanly possible. Sadly, there was only so much they could do until they got you into surgery. 

Before he knew it, Eggsy was loading you into a medical truck and being instructed to sit in the front seat. Away from you. 

“Bullshit-” he began, before he was quickly interrupted. 

“We need the room, Galahad. Do you want to waste precious moments arguing or let us save your girl?” One of the lead medics snapped.

Without a word, Eggsy jogged up to the front seat of the truck and got in. He sat for a moment, fist quickly finding its way into his mouth to stop himself from crying again. Swiftly, he chose to channel his emotion into anger instead. 

“Fuck!” he yelled, removing his fist from his mouth and smashing it onto the dash. 

He should have never left you in the field alone. He should have asked another agent to come to protect you. To ensure nothing like this happened to you. He made the wrong call and he knew it. 

Now, he had no idea what was going on with you. He couldn’t hear a sound coming from behind him over the sound of the siren wailing, ensuring they had the fastest path possible. Your heart could have stopped mere inches behind him and he would have no idea until he stepped out of the truck. 

This thought stuck in his mind, ricocheting around through his brain up until the moment he stepped out of the truck again, scared to death of what might have happened to you in the mere minutes since he last saw you. When he did see you, it was like coming up for air after being underwater for too long. Immense relief. You were still alive. You were still with him. 

But then, all too soon, you were gone again. Swept away to a private room for surgery, leaving Eggsy alone in an empty corridor. The second you disappeared behind the doorway, Eggsy fell to his knees, drained. He had asked to go into the room with you, but one of the medics had quickly replied, “Yeah because having your patient’s boyfriend doesn’t add any pressure when you’re performing surgery.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m her fiance actually,” he mumbled to the closed door.

It was the longest night of Eggsy Unwin’s life, as he sat there in the hall, awaiting either the best news of his life or the worst. It was an hour before Harry arrived, offering him a hug, which, for the first time in Eggsy’s life brought him no comfort whatsoever. Harry brought with him a couple of chairs, and a glass of water, Eggsy not realising how much he needed it until he had downed it in two gulps. 

There were few words spoken between the two men. Harry knowing nothing he could say would be of any help to Eggsy in this moment. Nothing would save him from the dark thoughts he was drowning in, picturing a life without you in it. All he could do for him, and for you, was be there. 

By the time the head surgeon stepped out three hours later, Eggsy felt as if he had aged a decade. Nevertheless, he was quick to jump to his feet, eager for information. 

“Merlin’s surgery has gone well,” he said, removing the weight of the world from Eggsy’s shoulders. He lifted his hand to his mouth, tears of joy springing to his eyes immediately. “There was a bit of internal damage, but luckily nothing to her major organs. We’ve managed to stop all internal bleeding. From here on out, it’s just about avoiding infection and ensuring she heals properly.” 

“Can I see her?” Eggsy asked, eyes glistening with hope in addition to the tears. 

“Of course,” the surgeon stepped aside, allowing Eggsy through. “She should wake up in the next thirty minutes.”

Eggsy stepped forward, towards the door before stopping in his tracks. He turned and wrapped his arms around the surgeon,whom he had met all of three times, hugging him tight. “Thank you so much,” he spoke, patting him on the back before pulling back. 

Much to the surprise of all men present, Eggsy started to jog down the hall, away from the girl he had been dying to see for hours. 

“Eggsy where are you going?” Harry called after him. 

“I have to grab something before I see her, I’ll explain later!” Eggsy called back, joy finally making its way back into his voice. 

The first thing you became aware of, as the effects of the anaesthesia wore off, was the feeling of two warm hands holding your left one. Before you were even fully conscious, the first thought to enter your head was that Eggsy was here. The knowledge filled you with a sense of ease as your eyes fluttered open, as though you were awaking from a pleasant nap and not a major surgery. 

Your eyes met Eggsy’s instantly, as though a magnetic force made it so. “There’s my girl,” his smile reached his tired eyes. 

“Hey handsome,” you croaked, taking in his appearance. Hair disheveled, still wearing his blood splattered suit (minus the jacket, of course), glasses tucked away in his pocket. Although he looked like an absolute mess, he still looked happy, riding on the high that the good news about your health had brought. 

“Oh my days. You gave me quite the scare there babe,” he forced a laugh, trying to conceal the trauma he had suffered through in not knowing whether or not you were going to make it. 

“I’m sorry,” you spoke softly, not buying into his attempt at a cover up and feeling the guilt more sharply than the wound. 

“You have nothing to apologise for,” he reached forward with his left hand, stroking your hair, knowing all too well just how much comfort it brought you. “Do you remember what happened?”

“I’m not sure, did anything happen after I said I would marry you?” You feigned genuity in your line of questioning. 

His mouth dropped open in shock at your words. “I don’t quite remember asking!” He struggled to hold back laughter at your antics. 

“Then ask,” you challenge. 

“Well,” he reaches into his pocket, pulling out a little red velvet box, “good thing I grabbed this before you woke up.” He opened the box, revealing the gold ring you would recognise anywhere. 

“Oh Eggsy…” you breathed out, gobsmacked at the magnitude of the gesture, “is that…?”

“The ring my dad proposed to my mum with? Yeah, yeah it is,” he smiled, “I asked her for it a couple weeks ago. Last night’s cancelled date night had been when I was planning on proposing.”

You placed your hand over your mouth, trying to contain the smile threatening to take over your entire face.

“But here we are instead. So, Y/N Y/L/N, my best friend and the love of my life, will you marry me?” He grinned, clearly already knowing your answer.

You removed your hand from your mouth to give him your answer for the second time that evening. “Eggsy Unwin of course I will marry you,” a tear slipped from your eye.

Somehow, he grinned even wider, taking your answer as permission to slip the ring onto your finger. Kissing your hand as the ring slid perfectly into place. 

“Well, darling, let my first act as your fiance be telling you that you are never going on a field mission again,” Eggsy joked.

“I really wish you would just kiss me instead,” you raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Not tonight, Eggsy,” she said, shaking her head softly. “I’ve got a bottle of whiskey and an old film waiting for me at my flat.” She turned before she finished, walking away before he could beg her into coming anyway.

“Just us then,” Eggsy said, winking at you before he began to walk again.

You laughed dismissively, but followed a few paces behind him.“Rox’s quiet night doesn’t sound like such a terrible idea to me,” you argued, hoping he would give up before he started – you both knew it wouldn’t take much to convince you, even if all you felt like doing was wallowing at home.

“Come on, (Y/n). Please? There’s a pub by my place. We’ll start with drinks and if you still want a quiet night it’s not a long walk to my flat.” Eggsy had taken hold of your wrists as he spoke, walking backwards and pulling you out of the building. “Anyway, I don’t want you to be alone.” He tacked the words onto his argument in a whisper, and you weren’t sure if you were even meant to hear, but concern laced his voice and your resolve crumbled.

His eyes pleaded with you and you pressed your lips together, pretending to think for a moment longer. “You’re paying for the cab.”

The vodka burned its way down your throat and you set the shot glass back on the bar. “This was a good idea, Eggs,” you said, setting your hand on his shoulder. “Gettin’ drunk was a good idea.”

“You alright, love?” he asked, laughing as you leaned against him. He had taken the first few shots with you, but had always prefered whiskey to vodka. Your head fell onto his shoulder and his hand found your knee.

Sitting up as suddenly as you leaned against him, you set your head in your hands and your elbows on the bar. “Absolutely fantastic,” you answered him firmly, and the warmth of his fingers disappeared. “I’m out drinking with you! What could be better?”

“A quiet night a bottle of whiskey?” he teased, and you rolled your eyes, hitting his shoulder.

“Don’t like quiet nights, but a bottle of whiskey doesn’t sound too bad. Go get it for me?” You bit your lip when you asked, batting your eyelashes at him.

“What’ll you give me?” he asked, leaning forward and raising his eyebrows.

“My eternal and undying love, Eggsy,” you said, managing to keep your face straight as you spoke. “If it’s really good whiskey, maybe you’ll get lucky,” you teased, dissolving into giggles. He shook his head at you, drunk enough that his usual quick retort was lost amid the haze, and stood up.

Eggsy set his hand on your knee and squeezed gently, winking before walking away and toward the man at the other end of the bar. A flash caught your attention and you glanced down at your phone, quickly replying to the message from Roxy. With Eggsy gone, you continued to focus on your phone, scrolling through the meaningless trivia that filled the Kingsmen files.

“What’s a girl like you doing in a place like this?” a voice asked.

You didn’t look up from your phone to acknowledge whoever had spoken. “Wondering what a man like you is doing using such a pathetic line.”

“Trying to pick up the prettiest girl I’ve seen in days.”

Taking a calming breath, you locked your phone and reluctantly looked at the man. He wasn’t much older than you. His jacket was too big and his pants too small. A golden beer sat on the bar beside him. “Flattered, but no.” Your eyes scanned the pub in search of Eggsy, unable to find the physical or mental energy to fend off the man in front of you.

“How can you say no when you haven’t even give me a chance?” he asked, and you closed your eyes, the alcohol buzzing through your system leaving you with little patience.

“Because a girl like me isn’t in a place like this looking for a guy like you.”

You heard him step closer to you, but didn’t flinch or move away. Eggsy would be back soon. He had a habit of saving you. “And what’s that supposed to mean?”

A familiar gentle hand rested on your shoulder and you smiled, relaxing into the touch and opening your eyes again. “You deaf, bruv? It means she’s not interested.”

“Mind your own business, mate,” the man snarled, eyes narrowing. You felt Eggsy’s fingers tense on your shoulder.

He trailed his hand down your spine until it rested against the small of your back and stepped close enough that his chest pressed to your back. “She is my business and she’s not interested, mate.” You leaned back into Eggsy and his hand trailed up your back and rested against your neck, fingers playing gently with your hair.

The man didn’t move.

“Babe? Let’s find a table?” You looked up at Eggsy.

“Yeah,” he tore his eyes slowly from the man and met yours. “Have Maggie bring our drinks?” The man behind the bar nodded at the question directed at him. He wrapped his arm around your waist when you stood up, tucking you into his side while your hand rested against his chest. Eggsy led you to a booth near the door, waiting for you to sit near the wall before he sat down beside you.

“Surprised you didn’t break his nose,” Eggsy almost laughed as he broke the silence.

“I knew you were coming back, Eggs – figured waiting was better than getting you barred from your favorite pub,” you said with a shrug and Eggsy shook his head. A young woman with red hair set two drinks on the table in front of you.

“Here I was assuming you’d found yourself a replacement.” He didn't smile, but dim teasing still lit up his eyes as he took a slow sip of the drink on the table.

“Replace you? Why would I want to do that?” You set your hand on his arm as you mocked him. He was warmer than you remembered. “Anyway, Merlin would have my arse if I got rid of you. He’s grown a bit attached.”

Eggsy laughed, his eyes finally lighting up. “If anyone could get away with it, it’d be you. You always were his favorite.” Your hand was still on his arm and he rested his own on your knee. “I’m pretty sure you’re Roxy’s favorite too.”

Heat had spread throughout your body when his hand had rested against your knee and there was enough liquor clouding your thoughts to loosen your tongue. His hand slid up your thigh. “And you?” You didn’t look away as you asked. Your hand trailed up to his bicep.

“Love, you know you’re my favorite.” He was speaking quietly. You rested your other hand on the bench beside his leg.

“I really thought it was Merlin.” You nodded as you spoke. Humor sparked behind his eyes. Fire spread through you as his free hand came to your waist.

“Nah, you’re more my type.” His nose bumped yours when he spoke. You tilted your head in questioning.

“Isn’t your type blonde and disposable?” Your fingers brushed against his jeans before moving onto his leg.

“My type is you.”

He tasted bitter when he kissed you, like the beer he’d been drinking. Your hand tightened on his arm. His kiss was insistent and urgent. A quiet voice in the back of your mind reminded you what a horrible idea this was, but the alcohol and his hand still sliding up your thigh drowned it out.

His hand moved up your waist, pulling your shirt with it, and his fingers brushed against your skin, sending shivers through you. With that small touch, his fingers flexed against you before sliding beneath your shirt. He traced past your hip, and you turned toward him, struggling to get closer past the table. Your heart was erratic when he pulled away, beginning to trail his lips down your jaw and toward your neck. You managed to breath his name, struggling to focus.

You trailed your hands up his chest slowly, surprised to feel him shiver beneath your touch. The hand beneath your shirt pressed higher and your breath caught. “Eggsy,” you whispered, moving your hands to his cheeks. He hummed in acknowledgement, but instead pressed his lips back against yours, dragging your bottom lips between his teeth. Reluctantly pulling away, you pressed against his shoulder, pushing him toward the edge of the booth you were sitting in.

Quick to understand, he took your hand, tugging you out of the booth. Digging through his pocket, he tossed money onto the table as he lead you through the pub and toward the door. “Ta, Mags,” he mumbled, not waiting for her to respond as he desperately dragged you outside. The cold air woke you as much as his hands had, and you breathed in the smell of London.

Eggsy pulled you down the street, and you stumbled, your laughter bouncing through the small alley. He turned at the sound, backing you against a wall and grabbing your waist as he hovered his lips over yours. You tilted your head to kiss him and he pulled your hips closer to him in response. His hand tangled in your hair, keeping your head away from the brick as he forced the rest of you against it.

His name fell from your lips in a quiet plea. Forcing yourself to focus, you traced your hands down his sides and slid your hand into his back pocket to grab hold of his keys. He reached after you as you pulled away, shaking his head and laughing as you dangled his keys in front of him. “I thought your flat wasn't a long walk?”

“First time it’s ever been too long.” He reached out for your waist, but you danced away from his him, tossing him his keys before walking toward his flat.

Quiet thunder pulled you from sleep, the once terrifying sound now familiar and relaxing. It was always raining in London. Despite the clouds, it was bright enough outside to light the room through the thin fabric curtains. You opened your eyes slowly, content to lie in bed until you were forced out of it. Confusion leaked into your thoughts. There wasn't a fan on your ceiling.

Carefully sitting up in bed, your head pounding, you glanced around the room you recognized. You had bought the antique chair for his birthday; you were in the only picture framed on his wall. Your mind stuttered to a half as your eyes landed on the naked body beside you.

Shit.

Holding your breath, you crawled cautiously from your closest friend's bed, desperate not to wake him. You underwear hung over the back of his chair, your pants lay in a pile at the foot of his bed, and your shirt was nowhere in sight. His breathing deepened and he rolled across the bed. Panic setting in, you frantically grabbed a random shirt from his closed and hurried silently from his room.

Sound of moving came from his room and your heart raced. You pulled his old football jersey over your head, hastily maneuvering around the couch you had helped move into his apartment and through the kitchen you had helped organize. The door to his room creaked open and you slipped out into the London air, barely aware of the rain that soon soaked through the borrowed shirt.

Knocking echoed through your small apartment and dread seeped into your bones. You closed your eyes and took a steadying breath, knowing it was him without opening the door. Longing to postpone the inevitable confrontation as long as you could, you took small and deliberate steps across the room. He stood in your doorway in an old button up and jeans, his hair disheveled and wet. Heat unwillingly filled your cheeks as his eyes met yours and the image of him sleeping naked as you snuck away flashed through your mind. "Forget your umbrella, Eggsy?"

"Tell me you need me."

"What?" you stammered, your feet moving you away from him without your mind's consent. He followed you out of the rain, closing the door behind him.

"Tell me you need me," he repeated, "like you told me last night."

The fan on his ceiling spun in lazy, steady circles. Rain against the roof lulled you closer to sleep. His fingers traced nonsense patterns against your bare hip. He placed a sloppy kiss against your shoulder. "You're fucking beautiful, d'you know that?"

There was enough vodka left in your system to still haze your mind and you giggled, burying your face against his side. "You're one to talk."

His chest shook as he laughed silently, kissing the nearest skin he could reach. Eggsy sighed in contentment, grabbing hold of your waist and rolling you on top of him. He pressed his lips languidly against yours and you melted into him. "I need you," you said when he pulled away from the kiss, the alcohol finally pulling your eyes closed. He was so warm.

"You need me?" he asked, the humor in his voice easy to hear. "Why is that?"

Resting your cheek against his shoulder, you struggled to stay awake long enough to answer his question. "You make me happy, Eggsy. I need you because I love you," you mumbled, too tired to be sure you'd even managed to speak the words out loud.

"I need you, Eggsy."

"Fucking finally." His hands cupped your cheeks and your back met the wall , his lips desperate and needy as they found yours. You leaned into him, and he lifted you off your feet.

“I need you, Eggsy.”

He tugged haphazardly at the shirt tucked into your leggings – his shirt. Eggsy stumbled through your your apartment with you in his arms, careful to avoid the table he'd helped carry inside.

Love is a vast universe. One so complex and deep, there exists not a single expert of the entity.

How it came to be. If it will survive for all eternity.

Love is a cosmos; one where happiness and serenity exist, right alongside sadness and fear.

Love is not perfect. If it were, people would not fear it. Humanity would run into its open arms, embracing it in their hearts; their souls.

Love is a backstabber. It lies, convincing you that happiness and peace can exist untainted by the terrors of doubt and pain. It tricks you into thinking you will never again know darkness in your heart.

You take love’s word for it; a promise of eternal bliss, in exchange for your heart. Your vulnerability.

When you least expect it, love will take a knife to your heart, a sly cut barely grazing the surface. You won’t know what’s happened, since the pain is minimal. But that’s what love wants. A slow, agonizing pain that grows with every drop of love that escapes your enamoured heart.

Love is pain that not many experience. It’s pain that many wish to never bear witness to. Why?

Love raises you high above the clouds, leaving you to soar in a world of unknown. When you fall, will love be there to catch you?

When you fall in love, it escapes you. It’s fleeting; never within your grasp. For you, love is Eggsy; not always quite there.

You didn’t want to have this argument. Eggsy certainly didn’t. But it had to happen. For better or for worse.

“How long do you think you’ll be?” You ask, your voice quiet as you dry your hands off with a nearby towel.

“Three weeks, tops. I’m sorry, love. You know I wouldn’t do this if there was any other way.” Eggsy’s voice is anything but reassuring as you grip the countertop, the edge digging into the palms of your hands.

“I know you hate it when I leave. But I swear, I’ll make it up to you when I come back. Just wait ‘til I come home, love.”

“You’re already home, Eggsy. Just stay.” You refuse to turn, even when his arms find their way around your waist, gently pulling you against his chest.

His aftershave engulfs your senses, overwhelming every nerve in your body. He was your home, but you weren’t too sure you were his.

“You know I want to, babe. Don’t do this to me.” His voice is soft in your ear, his lips softly brushing against your skin.

“Don’t do what, Eggsy? Ask you to show some commitment to me?” You don’t know where the words came from, but the truth rang out in the silence, clear as day. He’s pulled away from you now, his back leaning against the kitchen island as you stay put, facing the sink.

“I love you, Y/N. Is that not enough commitment to you? We’re together.”

“Yeah. Dating for three years. Just fucking great, Eggsy.” You head out of the kitchen, rushing to your shared bedroom. Eggsy’s quick to follow, his foot stopping the door from shutting in his face.

“What more do you need, Y/N? Is this not enough for you?” He scoffs, rolling his eyes as he makes his way into the room. His words seem to just roll of his tongue without a care in the world. Unfortunately for you, they’ve hit your heart like a thousand bullets.

“Get the fuck out, Unwin. Spend the night at the tailors, for fucks sake.” You say, throwing his suit jacket at him as you storm off into the bathroom. You manage to beat him, locking the door just as he reaches for the doorknob.

You hear a dull thud against the wall, and you know he’s slammed his fist. One hell of a way to send him off.

You slide down against the wall, silent tears rolling down your cheeks. Your chest is tightening with every breath you take, but you don’t know what to do. When did love ever feel like this?

Eggsy’s clearly got something on his mind. It’s the thought of you, in his arms, a smile flashing up at him as he presses his forehead against yours, his lips brushing against your own.

It’s the image of you, cuddling with JB on your shared bed, Eggsy’s pillow in your grasp.

His heart feels like it’s aflame; every thought of you igniting another spark, the fire growing ever more fervent in his chest.

He can’t close his eyes, because your eyes, your smile, your everything is all he can see in front of him. When did he get himself so lost in you?

“You alright, Eggsy?” Harry’s voice sounds from behind the bar, the air of concern sitting around his words. Eggsy sighs, the weight on his chest growing heavier with every passing thought of you.

“I think I’ve gone and fucked it all up, Harry. Big time.” He leans against the bar, resting his head against the cool wood. He feels a hand on his shoulder, and reluctantly looks up to meet Harry’s gaze.

“Humble heart, humble mind. That’s not who you are, Eggsy. That’s who she is.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know how they say your life flashes before your eyes as you die?” Eggsy nods, his head tilting in confusion.

“I’ve never had anyone. I’ve never experienced companionship; never been in love. When I die, all I’ll see is nothing.” Harry finishes the martinis he was making, placing one in front of Eggsy. He glances between the drink and his mentor, more confused than ever.

“When you die, who do you think will be the first to flash before your eyes?”

“Be mine.” Eggsy’s got cuts littering his chest, his knuckles bruised and bloodier than ever. You’re sitting on his lap, massive strips of gauze in your hand. His words are echoing in your ears, and all he can do is bite back his tongue as he searches your eyes for something. Anything.

“You mean it, Eggy?” He smiles, the nickname warming his heart. He nods, his eyes never looking away from yours.

“Be mine. And only mine. Please.” Your hands find themselves in his hair, your forehead pressed against his. Your eyes dart between his lips and his gaze, and he can’t help the laugh that escapes him as he darts his tongue out at your lips. You giggle, smiling as he finally kisses you.

At long last.

“The look in your eyes answers that question, Eggsy. You know what you have to do.”

The mission wrapped sooner than planned, but Eggsy decided it was better you didn’t know. He got a new suit fitted, while Merlin went and picked up your favorite flowers. Roxy made sure Eggsy wouldn’t fuck up his speech - “If you say that, I hope she kicks you in the dick, you idiot.” - all while you sat at home, JB curled up on your chest.

You hadn’t been able to sleep much since Eggsy left, but you never did when he was gone.

You spent most of your time sifting through memories - old photos from when you first met, to last year’s Christmas card, starring the only dog who would let you dress him up.

Eggsy was the best thing to ever happen to you, and you couldn’t stand to be apart from him any longer. You reached for your phone, pulling up his number when you heard the lock click. JB perked up, jumping off the bed and scrambling out of the room. You sighed, following the pug out into the once-empty living room. You stopped breathing the moment you stepped out of the room.

Flowers adorned every open space throughout the room, red hearts sitting in every bouquet. You followed JB, picking up every card along the way. Eggsy’s handwriting was scrawled on each one, a different thing written across the heart.

Your smile.

Your laugh.

Your heart.

My home.

Mine.

You read that last card, a tear slipping down your cheek as you smiled at the lone word.

“If you start crying now, I’m going to be one helluva mess, love. Gotta give me a chance here, darling.” His voice comes from the kitchen, and you can’t stop yourself from running into his arms. Running home.

He hugs you tight against his chest, his lips pressing chaste kisses atop your head, muffled confessions of love tumbling out, as if he was running out of time. You pull away, dropping the hearts on the counter as you cup his face in your hands. His emerald eyes are shining bright with bliss, and you can’t stop staring.

“Hey bug. Want to know why I love you?” He whispers, his hands resting on your waist.

“I think the cards told me, Eggy.”

“Well, I think you missed one.” He grins.

“Where is it?” He takes one of your hands from his face, resting it right above his heart. You tear your eyes away from him, confused.

“Your heart?”

“I love you because you are my heart, Y/N. You have been since the moment I first saw you. You always will be, if you’ll have me. Be mine, forever.” You gasp, your gaze meeting his as you take in his words.

“Is that a proposal, Eggy?” He bites his lip, shrugging his shoulders as you stare at him in disbelief.

“A shit one, I know. But I swear, I’ll do better. For you.”

“I love you, idiot. This is better than anything I could’ve hoped for.”

“So is that a yes, love?” You roll your eyes, stroking your thumb across his lips as he watched you.

“I’ll take it back if you don’t kiss me right now, bruv.” You cooed, giggling as he picked you up, setting you on the counter. His lips find yours in seconds, his love dripping from them as he holds you close. Once you finally pull away, he buries his face in the crook of your neck.

“Never let me go.” Your words draw him out, his lips brushing along the skin of your jaw. As he finds his way to your lips, he meets your gaze.

“On my life, darling. Never.”

Sometimes, love finds its way home. Eggsy was finally home.

Insecurity is a sneaky bitch.

It builds up over time, carefully poisoning your most vulnerable areas. It takes root in your darkest places, encompassing everything you are as time moves forward. It hits hard at your lowest moments.

Insecurity is an autoimmune disease. It’s a part of you, and attacks you when you least expect it. When you least want it to.

Self-doubt is your worst nightmares brought to life, eating at you from the inside. A lonesome battle where only one will come out victorious. Most of the time, it isn’t you.

Eggsy was a bright, young man. One with the potential to exceed far beyond the expectations society and life had set for him. However, he never saw it.

His life had taught him that he was worth next to nothing; he would never amount to anything good because he just wasn’t...good. He was a lowlife; only made for crime and everything on the wrong side of the line.

Eggsy would have never imagined he’d end up where he found himself now. A Kingsman. A man. A friend. A lover. Happy.

He especially didn’t think he’d ever find someone like you. But he was damn glad he had.

After losing Harry, you became an essential part of Eggsy’s life, and he would be an idiot to ever let you go. You and Roxy were his best friends - the people who kept him grounded when his head went just a little higher than the clouds. But you - you were the one who reminded him of the good in the world; the good he was working to protect.

After the devastation of Kingsman, with the return of Harry and some help from the agents at Statesman, together you were all able to finally restart the program that had brought everything good into Eggsy’s life.

Opting to stay with the Statesman for a new kind of training, Roxy left a vacant spot in London. Agent Tequila decided he’d give the UK and Kingsman suits a try, as long as he could bring along a friend of his. Never one to say no, Eggsy agreed.

Merlin set up the room for the first meeting, while Harry prepared some martinis for the three of you.

“Excited to meet our new friends, Y/N?” Harry asked, his gaze concentrated on the drinks in front of him.

“I suppose. I hear Tequila’s friend is an undercover agent. Very mysterious, if you ask me.” You shrugged, resting your head on Eggsy’s shoulder as you yawned.

“Still sleepy, love?” Eggsy laughed as you nodded, your eyes fluttering shut as you leaned up against him.

“I blame you, Eggy.” You smiled at the image of him rolling his eyes as the nickname rolled off your tongue, and you felt the poke in your side that always accompanied said infamous eye roll.

“C’mon, drink up, you two. We have to be on time to greet our new agents.”

You all rose from your seats as Merlin opened the doors, ushering in Tequila and his friend. The men were suited up, looking like true Kingsman - minus the classy moves.

Harry was the first to greet them, getting wrapped up in a hug from Tequila as the mysterious man stood by the door, his hair falling across his face, as his gaze bored into the floor.

“What’s your name, mate?” Eggsy asked, raising an eyebrow as he passed by Tequila, you right on his tail.

The agent looked up, fidgeting with his tie for a moment as he cleared his throat.

“Agent Agave, at your service. Or James Barnes, if you want my real name.” He smiled, his eyes sparkling under the sunlight. Eggsy nodded, shaking his hand before moving to the side.

“Barnes, huh? The undercover agent, I presume?” You shake his hand, noting the roughness of his skin as his crystal blue eyes locked with your own. He smiled, nodding.

“Yeah. I’ve been working out of New York practically my whole life.”

“He’s a Brooklyn kid. Wouldn’t let us train him in Kentucky, so Whiskey took the training to him. Good man. He’ll fit right in here.” Tequila said, his hands tucked in his slacks’ pockets as he leaned against the wall.

“And what about you, Tequila? Will you fit right in?” Eggsy asked, slightly laughing as the Statesman blushed, jumbling up his answer.

“I’m - I’ll do my damn best to fit in, Galahad.”

“Wonderful. Galahad and Lamia will give you the personal tour. Merlin, weapons.” Everyone took up their respective posts; you and Eggsy lead the two men out into the corridor, while Merlin stayed behind with Harry.

“How are you liking the suits, gentlemen?” You chuckled quietly, noting the way Tequila fussed over his tie and the buttons of suit jacket, while Barnes seemed right at home.

“Fine, I guess. Not used to these damn things just yet,” Tequila muttered as he fixed his tie for the umpteenth time.

“Never thought I’d actually love wearing a suit as much as this one.” Barnes said, smiling as he adjusted his cufflinks. You laughed, turning to meet Eggsy’s gaze.

“Don’t worry - Galahad here was just like the lot of you. You’ll get used to it in no time.”

After a few short weeks of training, Tequila and Barnes were ready to take on their first mission as Kingsman. Following intel from Roxy and Whiskey back in the States, you, Eggsy, Tequila, and Barnes set out.

Merlin landed the jet in the outskirts of a small town in France, the forest providing perfect cover as you all moved into the area. You and Eggsy veered to the left, while Barnes and Tequila stayed on the right.

“Everyone doing alright?” Eggsy whispered into the comms.

“Just dandy. How are we doing this?” Tequila responded, a somewhat nervous edge to his tone.

“Don’t be scared, Tequila. It’s like any other mission you’ve been on - just Kingsman style, this time around. We’ll set off in our pairs; take out the guards at the front, and then split up to find the main office. Merlin will try to find it first, and then direct whoever’s closest to the source. Main priority is the intel; whoever gets it first will need cover. Understood?”

“Spoken like a true leader, Lamia.” Barnes voice sounded, and you smiled.

“Focus, men. We’re here.” Eggsy stated, his voice low as he moved behind you. You turned to look at him, extending a reassuring hand as he met your gaze.

“Ready, Eggy?”

“As long as I have you.”

The fighting was coming from every side, and you didn’t know how you always managed to get the worst hits. Eggsy was on your back, taking out shots from left and right, only to be sideswept by a guard behind him. You continued on forward, the umbrella providing perfect cover - unfortunately, only from the front. A guard trudged towards you from behind, his gun aimed right for your head. Barnes spotted him, knocking out the guard in front of him as he moved in on the threat.

He came up behind the guard, cocking his gun behind his head as he tripped him up with his foot. The guard turned to shoot him, but was knocked out before he got the chance. You heard a shot from behind, turning in time to catch a glimpse of Barnes reloading his weapon as a guard fell near you. You locked eyes with him, nodding as you mouthed a quick “thank you”, before moving on.

Eggsy watched the entire thing unfold before him, his eyes never leaving your moving figure. He watched as Barnes covered you, while he tried his best just to cover his own ass.

That should’ve been me. I should’ve had her back. Not him.

So much for being good at something.

As hard as he tried, he couldn’t shake these feelings of doubt consuming his every other thought. Eggsy had faith in you. He trusted you with his own life, for God’s sake. He had no reason to doubt you. However, he had every reason to doubt himself.

No matter what, you’ll never be good.

What happens when you fuck up, and she gets hurt? Or worse - what if she dies?

All your fault. Could never do anything right, could you?

Eggsy’s insecurity was trying to get the best of him, but he thought he could fight it, like the countless times before. Yet this time was different. This time, everything was tied to you.

You were everything Eggsy was not. You were better, in every sense of the word. How could he ever compare with the wonder that you were?

As the weeks went by, Eggsy tried brushing off every intrusive thought that came his way. Nevertheless, they persisted, over-clouding his mind. What Eggsy didn’t realize was that his actions were getting to you, too.

You were sitting in his office, talking with James over the newest training tactics Merlin was coming up with when Eggsy stopped by the door. He stayed aside, watching the pair of you.

“So, when did you join the agency, doll?” The pet name perked Eggsy’s attention, his gaze following yours as you smiled at him.

“I want to say it’s been a good three, four years. I would’ve left sometime in the past two years, if it weren’t for Eggsy. He’s the reason why I’m still hanging around the tailors.” You laughed, playing with your hair as James nodded.

“He’s a good guy, Galahad. Very lucky, too.” You both laughed, and Eggsy could tell you were flustered by Barnes’ words.

Everything good seems to leave you behind. Good riddance, if you ask me.

“Goddamn it, shut up” Eggsy muttered, clapping a hand over his mouth when he realized he had spoken aloud. Fortunately, neither you nor Barnes had heard him. Sadly, that meant you were too caught up in your conversation to notice him.

Eggsy knew he was better than this; he shouldn’t be letting these thoughts and futile emotions get to him. But he was subject to his insecurity, his mind running amuck with passing thoughts of hatred and doubt.

How could she ever love a useless idiot like you?

You’re nothing compared to him.

You’re nothing compared to her.

Y/N deserves better than you. Hell, Kingsman deserves better than you.

You’re nothing but a pathetic chav.

You found Eggsy in your shared bedroom, lying on the bed. His eyes were closed, his eyebrows creased as if he were thinking. You slipped off your shoes, trying your best to be quiet.

The mattress dipped under your weight as you made your way over to Eggsy. You rested a hand on his own, stirring him awake. His green eyes looked over at you, and you couldn’t help but think there was a dull shadow looming over them.

“You okay, Eggy?” Your voice was a soft whisper, your hand trailing up and down his arm as you sat up next to him. Eggsy feigns a weak smile, nodding as he looks up at the ceiling.

His heart was racing a mile a minute, and he was praying you wouldn’t hear it trying to beat its way out of his chest.

“Are you sure?” You know there’s something awry with him, but you also know it’s no good to push him to talk about something he’d rather forget. Eggsy could handle his feelings, but you always had to remind him you were there for him, through the good and the bad.

Eggsy nods again, his lips pursed as he silently curses himself for lying. He knows you want to help, and by God, does he want you to help, but he just can’t bring himself to say the words.

He’s ashamed. He doesn’t want you to think less of him because he’s fallen down a dark path. He knows you wouldn’t, but there’s still that agonizing voice in the back of his mind. The one reminding him that he is unworthy of you. Your love. Your everything.

“C’mere, bruv.” You lie down next to him, wrapping your arm around his chest, so he turns to face you. He seems reluctant at first, but slowly gives in as he moves in closer.

Once his face is buried in the crook of your neck, you stroke his back, planting small kisses on his hair and cheek. Eggsy moves to rest his head on your chest, your heartbeat luring him to sleep.

You refuse to let go for the rest of the night - you knew Eggsy needed this, even if he wouldn’t admit it.

He’s wide awake, his mind focused on your slow heartbeat and even breathing. He’s trying to ignore the insistent voices inside his head, but he can’t seem to push them away.

“I hope you know I’m here for you, Eggsy.” Your voice pulls him away from his thoughts, and he can’t help the fall of his heart at your words.

“Of course I know, love. Why do you say that?” He looks up at you, his hand’s grip tightening on your waist when you refuse to meet his gaze.

“There’s something wrong, and I don’t want to make you tell me, but I can’t handle just being here, helpless and hopeless.”

“I promise you, you have been nothing but helpful, darling. I’m so sorry I’ve made you feel like this; it’s all my fault, really.” Eggsy leans in, pressing his forehead against yours as he cups your cheek, stroking his thumb across your warm skin.

“Let me help, Eggy. I love you. Every single part of you. No matter what.” You kiss the tip of his nose, a sad smile pulling at your lips as you notice his own.

“I love you, baby. Nothing will ever change that.” Eggsy whispers back, his head dropping to your chest once more as he tries to collect his thoughts. You run your fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him as best you could.

After a few minutes of silence, he looks up at you, a different spark in his green eyes. You cup his cheek, patiently waiting for him to say what he wants.

“I’m scared, love.” His words make your heart drop, your mouth falling open as you look at him, speechless.

“I’m scared I’m not good enough for you, Y/N. I never really was ‘the good guy’, and I still feel like there’s a part of me that wants to give up. A part of me that’s looking for the easy way out, looking to fall back to my old life. And I don’t want that. That life was no good for me. I have you now, and you’re the best damn thing to ever happen to me. You reminded me what love is supposed to be like. And I can never thank you enough for that.” You smile at his words, fighting back the tears welling up in your eyes.

“I feel like you’re an angel on this Earth, and I’m just some wretch that’s ruining you. I know you don’t think that, but there’s a voice in my head that won’t shut up. I look at you and I cannot believe how lucky I am. You make me forget about the bad, because you’re the best of everything.” You nod your head, unable to find the right words to comfort Eggsy in the way you wanted to. You drag your thumb across his lips, and he kisses your skin, never once looking away from you. You sit like that for what seems to be an eternity.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve a man like you, Eggsy. I wish there was some way for me to shut that voice up, but I want you to remember that you don’t need to hide these feelings from me. I love you so much. I want to help you in any way I can; even if that means sitting here and holding you forever. I’ll do anything for you.” You know you’re crying when Eggsy presses light kisses to your cheeks, his thumbs wiping away the wet trails. His smile is genuine, even if it makes you feel a little sad.

You know this is a battle Eggsy must fight on his own, but there’s nothing that will stop you from staying by his side until the end.

Until he comes out triumphant.